Weight Loss NHS
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Bewildered, ashamed and fearful

I had a pretty positive start to my journey....4lbs in 4 weeks slow and steady....last week I completed all the exercise I planned and I felt good. This week I've gone into a tailspin of no exercise (back has been sore and stiff), overeating, binging and poor lifestyle choices.....alcohol, late nights, working late at work....no relaxation, yoga.

I'm bewildered because I cannot fathom what the trigger for this is, I was feeling really positive and pleased with my progress.

I'm ashamed and its taken all my effort to post as usually I would have kept quiet about such behaviour and emotions. Im also ashamed because compared to others here i have it easy and have no excuse to behave like this.

I'm fearful of what the scales will say....because I know they may trigger a worse response of either more overeating or the opposite where I feel like I've got to somehow catch up. In my heart I know that if I just pick myself and continue where I left off I should be ok .....but there's part of me that wants to give up until after Christmas somehow let myself off the hook....another part wants to restrict and almost punish myslef and get back on track with losing a stone before Christmas......how do I find and stick to the middle ground when I'm feeling such emotional turmoil?

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We all have our own obstacles. You're right to suggest just picking up and going from where you left off. Don't starve. You won't catch up. It made me slow down and eventually gain weight and it took two months to get metabolism back on track. Don't be ashamed. It happens to all of us here. Just keep going and you will feel good again. Good luck!!!

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Thats helpful to know.....ill try and avoid the temptation to go to the extremes....deep down I know it's not right so why am I even contemplating it?.

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Don't punish yourself just get back on track and give yourself the gift if losing at for Xmas...better than anything you could buy in the store😊

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Thanks

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Try not to be so hard on yourself. You don't need to feel ashamed or fearful. This is just a bump in the road along your journey and we all have them from time to time. Draw a line under any gain or overeating and start afresh in the morning.

Why not join the Daily Diary for a week to get the extra support you need and to help you stay on track. Don't worry what the scales say this week as it will add to you feeling fearful. Just try to stick to your plan and take each day as it comes. You will get there.

I have just had a few bad weeks myself and gained a few pounds as I fell off the wagon while dealing with some family issues but I'm back on track since Sunday and feel so much better for it! So your not alone here, there is lots of support on the forum for you. :)

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Thanks yellowrose55 its inspirational to know you've kept going.....will try my best to see the bigger picture and not focus on this 'bump in the road'

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You can do it, just take it one day at a time and you will get there. :)

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Don't be ashamed palcareteach. Like the other have said, we've pretty much all been there.

How different was your weight loss regime? If you have suddenly gone from a sedentary lifestyle full of not so great eating choices into full on exercise and healthy eating then it could have been burnout. Been there, done that. Some people can do it - all or nothing, but others (like me) have to take it a bit at a time. I've chosen to concentrate on getting the food side on a better level and not worrying about the exercise. I feel I am getting close to being ready to incorporate some sort of exercise, but it certainly won't be 5 workouts a week at the gym :)

Might be worth looking into, as it could be the reason for the crash.

Be easy on yourself :)

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Thanks I think you may be on to something there.....i wanted to do even better than before

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That sounds a very good theory. Maybe, when you feel ready to start some exercise again, just start with the one you like best, and take it gently at first. Then once that exercise has become a genuine habit rather than a novelty, you've got a better chance of still wanting to do it on a more difficult day. Exercise does help with mood swings - personal experience! So I wonder if thinking of it as a support to your mental well-being, rather than as a calorie burning effort, might help. Some days it won't help of course, and that's fine - you're human, like the rest of us. Be kind to yourself.

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Thanks Emerion....heres to mental wellbeing!

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Well done for posting palcareteach when it would have been so easy to hide. That was very brave of you.

kiwikyd-nz makes a valid point that you may have been trying too hard. Try and make sure that you are as happy as you can be during your journey and that your actions aren't stressing you out. You will achieve your goals.

As has already been said, most of us have been where you are and still do have difficult periods. The trick is to keep going. It's not a sign of failure but only how ingrained our bad habits are and how much reprogramming it will take to create new healthy habits. Each time we overcome a difficult period only makes us stronger.

YellowRose55 mentioned the Daily Diary. When you write down your coming meals, you are more likely to stick to them. A friendly bunch of people who are continuously providing new ideas and who would be interested in hearing yours.

You've done well up to now and you'll continue to do well because you were low yet you stuck with the forum. Brilliant!

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Thank you that's so encouraging

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Hi palcareteach I agree with everyone's comments so far- don't be too hard on yourself- over Halloween i had about 100 packets of haribos and chocolate! Everyone falls off the wagon at some time through their weight loss journey. If there isn't anything obvious that has set you off then it maybe that you were introducing to many changes at once and you were unconsciously rebelling against it. I am counting calories since in my head I see diets as restricting and since I like food I cannot see me maintaining a diet such as 5:2, paelos etc because I see them as being restrictive- they may not be but in my head they are, so for me calorie counting is the only way to go. Its learning what you can accept, and on the NHS 12 week weight loss plan it recommends small changes. Good luck with getting back on track

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Thanks....i must check out the 12 week plan.....maybe I was being too restrictive.....i can remember thinking to myself that I must do even better this week....too much pressure maybe?

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I know how you feel. Pretty much like me and many others I’m sure. I did really well and have gone back to some bad habits interspersed with healthy eating. I try to put it behind me but it still niggles at the back of my mind. I know it links back to my childhood, my mum locked the food cupboards because my brother ate everything and she was on a tight budget. I don’t blame her but it’s impacted on my relationship with food all my life. Somehow when I know I need to stay on healthy track a little voice says no you can eat this happens somehow and at some point. Someone recently suggested that my mum should metaphorically give me the key to the cupboard and I can see the sense in it but I can’t raise the issue with her she’d be too upset. I know what triggers the incidents and I will get over them somehow so try to be kind to yourself and keep up your good work.

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Well done for being so positive with yourself.

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Thanks For sharing that there's a whole heap of things that went on in my past with food and body image.....my parents were overly keen to make sure I didn't become overweight......my mum took me to weight watchers with her when I was 15.....i was a size 10....and they let me join......it wouldn't happen now but it set up a horrible binge starve cycle that I have been fighting ever since....it just pains me that 30 years later I still haven't conquered it.....

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Wow... deep breaths and try not to set yourself time constraints. You're already some pounds down and that is a win.

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It’s so hard when it’s linked to past emotional experiences. I know it’s in my mind and I’ve got to crack the cycle but it’s so hard. Taking helps though.

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Hi

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all have times that send us straight back to the fridge. I was so close to my fridge I named him.

We can either beat ourselves up about it and the bad feelings will drive us further down the eating path or

We can just say today was a bad day. Tomorrow will be better I will continue from my Good days.

I’m in the same boat as you but we can over come this. You are not alone.

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That means so much....and for the first time in a long time I think you are right...we can do this

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Thanks for sharing palcareteach . As you can see from all the support and advice you've been given here, you definitely came to the right place. Never feel ashamed. Sing your praises louder on the good days and drown out those low notes.

Don't fret too much about what triggered your blip. You will start to understand your body more over time. Just stick to a good quality balanced range of food and it will all start to fall into place. Focus on those good days.

I had an horrendous day on Monday. I had a lovely day of food and exercise planned then I got my period and the hormones kicked in big time! I lost count of calories after about 3500 and was just flopped on sofa all evening! The next day I didn't punish myself with less food. With the help of people here I just have learnt to dust myself off, hold my head up and carry on. It's just a bump in the road.

Have a great day xxx

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Thanks so much Active_43. The support is overwhelming...and really appreciated....I feel so different having shared....thank you for the encouragement to do this and continue

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Nice badge 😍

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not sure it will remain there for much longer...weigh in tomorrow will be a car crash but at least now i am prepared and supported by so many people ...onwards and downwards as they say!

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Hi palcareteach, you're right to post, especially if that's something you wouldn't have done on previous occasions. I think taking the lid off our behaviour is a useful part of the process of shifting the way we behave.

It would be good if you could spot the trigger, but maybe that's not possible, Like you, I've been losing a pound a week and I'm happy about it and get positive feedback here, but at the same time I'm not happy about it and think I "deserve" to do better because I've made significant changes to my eating, especially eating between meals.

Be kind to yourself. What's done is done. Look forward to today and tomorrow. On the practical front, if you often have to work late, think through how you're going to manage your meals and snacks on those days, so you're not in the position of grabbing anything to hand, no matter how unhelpful.

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Thanks Marymanc I will certainly do a bit more reflecting....and planning.

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Never, ever feel ashamed to post on this forum. We're all on the same mission and there is never any judgment here, just understanding and empathy. Forget too about any punishment. Put it all behind you. It's gone! It's over! Treat today as a fresh start with no looking back, just looking forward to a Christmas youcan enjoy and still make healthy choices. Keep in regular touch with the forum as there is always a listening ear to sympathise, encourage or console because each and every one of us knows what these pitfalls can do to our motivation if we don't talk about them. Best wishes and hugs💐💞

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Thank you so much....i can't tell you how much your support means.....ive only ever been berated and belittled by my parents...and then in latter years by myself when I've failed .....i really feel i can keep going now

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Thank you for posting this. I’ve been there and find it difficult to share at times like this.

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Well Annod85.....i can only say I feel so different from the dark place I was at only yesterday solely because of the non judgmental caring support I've received here.....its not easy but I can safely say its a lot better than keeping it bottled up

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One of the cruelest tricks is to tell people they can have whatever they want in moderation. Alcohol, fructose, high-glycaemic foods, and anomalies such as reduced-fat dairy or baked beans all contribute to hormonal dysfunction that has a knock-on effect to appetite control.

If you feel you are on a hook, why wouldn't you want to get off it? However, addiction is not the way.

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So well put, you have the self awareness and maturity to put these comples emotions into words.

I know that you know what to do.

Have the courage to do it.

And never give up on yourself 😀

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thank you 13Valerie it is the first time I have really sat and thought about the emotion I was feeling in relation to food...and articulating it was hard but has been really helpful.....a lot more helpful than burying the emotion under a tonne of food...which is my usual response

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Well done for posting palcareteach!

I don't imagine there will be many people on this forum who will not empathise with your situation.

I've certainly been there, being very determined in my eating plan one day, to losing motivation the next.

Please don't get demoralised by this. Today is a new day (cheesy but true), with the chance to refocus, and put this blip behind you.

You can do this! x

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;-) thank you

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Never be ashamed on here ,no time is the right time .we will find why we can't do it .I'm on the blood sugar diet I'm away for next two weeks,and then I've got another week to go .then it will be Christmas and New year ,so it's just another day .

No time like the present.

Good luck.

Gary

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good luck with the blood sugar diet....sounds challenging....but very worth it if you can kick the sugar habit

Thanks for the support

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Thanks ,

You will be fine,no time like the present.

Good luck .

Gary

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I have been traditionally slim and good looking, maybe without enough muscles - but all my life ive been told by my parents and my brother than I am fat. Then 15 years later when i put on loads of weight due to medication, I looked back at my old recordings from holidays and I was shocked! I looked perfect! No buts no ifs... and then I grew up with the image of me always having cellulite and fat all over, which just wasn't true. That's a short digresssion.

But regarding your post - yes it does happen to basically ruin all progress in one week. This definitely sounds like a burnout - 2 hours of gym and yoga??? Why? 1 hr of yoga is enough for one day unless you're training for fitness - or best to do 25 minutes of HIIT training. On another note, someone successful in business said - you shouldn't judge a man by their past, only by their future - so what do you want your future to be? It's up to you to decide whether you want to be the victim of your own decisions and feel ashamed or do you want to be a progressive successful individual proud of what you've overcome and accomplished? (that's a little bit of tough love :))

good luck woman and get back on that fat loss track! ;)

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Now I am totally with you on the tough love and the decision not to be a victim that attitude works for me in every other aspect of my life.....I have used it to great effect in my work life for example. I seem to have a real blind side when it comes to my relationship with food and find the slightest pressure/harsh goal setting or strict parameters precipitates a meltdown......it frustrates me greatly but owning up to it is the first big step for me so hopefully will break it down

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Hello palcareteach :)

I am so happy you have come on here and let all that out. This forum is not here to merely cheer us on when we've achieved, it's also here to commiserate, support and offer help to get people back on track; it's why this place works so well. :)

I really hope you are able to dust yourself down and start afresh. Feelings of guilt and shame won't help you right now. New day new page - a fresh start/beginning. ;)

Lots of love and support :)

Sazkia xxx

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thank you :-)

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Everyone falls off the wagon from time to time I know I do. It's best just to wake up the next day and resume your diet don't try to starve yourself it will only make matters worse and make it harder to loose weight. I fell off the wagon yesterday when they had a buffet meal at work everyone including myself must have eaten 4000 calories or more. I know my weight will have gone up but I know I will loose it in a week or two.

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that's great I hope to get into the habit of being that sensible about things .....

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You’ ve had the strength to write this down, it takes courage to do that when everyone seems to be doing so well, but what you’re saying is that you’ve had a few bad days after 4 weeks of doing really well. It’s a blip, that’s all. Don’t let it put you back to delaying until after xmas. I felt really low as well when my weight didn’t seem to drop off as I felt it should. I’m new at this and make a lot of mistakes, I have bad days, those I write off the next day and just start again. The scales don’t go down all the time but I try and look at the overall picture, I’m still down a few kgs since I started and my waist measurements confirm that. Exercise a bit more to help burn off the exessbut don’t give up, each good day is a fantastic day and a step forward Good luck!

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