I have just inhaled food like you wouldn't believe, I wasn't even hungry but I wanted to eat and I'm ashamed to admit that I did. I'm trying to pinpoint what the trigger was and I have made 2 observations.
1. I had a controlled over indulgence day on New Year's Eve, I counted everything and gained 3.5lbs that was not shifting quickly enough for me. Got into the mindset of "if I'm going to gain 3.5lbs I want to properly earn it" because I know I didn't deserve that big of a gain from my New Years Eve celebrations, a lb was deserved by not 3.5. I've found the last 2 weeks hard and I am truly fed up of relosing the same few lbs over and over again. While I understand that over eating is going to make the situation worse it didn't stop me from eating, which is the stubborn part of my personality winning out.
2. Stress and worry. I work in a school and I am very worried about returning to work on Monday with the rising cases and this new varient that spreads more easily amongst children. All the negativity online about the pleas to keep schools closed is stressing me out too. While I personally think they should close I understand others feel very differently. No one wins in this mess but on Monday I'm back in a high risk environment with 2 issues that put me on the clinically vulnerable list. I'm usually pretty good at managing my stress but the worry really got to me today.
Sat here now feeling sick and a bit woozy from the sudden instakes of sugar. I don't think I'm done for the night either. Disappointed in myself but hoping from realising these 2 triggers that I can avoid such emotional eating in the future.
Anything you can learn from is a positive, in the long term
I can see you're a regular Wobble Warrior. I'm wondering if using the Daily Diary might help you as you're getting back on track. Maybe something to do for January
Positive in being able to recognise why I did it today. Been missing that clarity. The daily diary is something to think about. I already write down everything I eat and drink, don't fancy typing it all out again everyday. Would I be able to upload a picture?
Unfortunately not - yet. There are plans for us to be able to include pictures in replies but it hasn't materialised yet. Maybe have a browse and see if the Diary gives you any ideas, and if you think it would be useful to join in with the food chat
I've found the value of the Daily Diary to rest not in its role as a record of what I've done but rather as a planning aid, something that makes me think holistically about the day ahead.
I really feel for you, I have struggled big time over the Christmas period with emotional eating, something which I thought I had over come. My reasons are very different to yours and my gain worse!
I fully understand that you would be worried and anxious about going back into the school situation. I believe they should stay closed for now, or only opened for fewer children. It must be awful to be in a position where you are being made to do something you don’t feel comfortable with.
You have lost a lot of weight, so there is no doubt you know what you need to do. Take your self back to when this journey started to work for you and start from there 😊
Do you need to remove temptation, from your home or have a chat to a significant other and ask for support. Today I have bagged up what is left of some chocolates I was given and I have taken a present of nugget out of the cupboard that I avoided opening. It is all waiting to be given to my son. I did an online shop yesterday so I have plenty of healthy choices, I have started a new food journal. so planning is back in place. I, like you, feel really ashamed and very disappointed in myself. Going off the rails hasn’t improved the situation or worries going on here, it has just made the journey even harder. We have 2 choices, give in, or get on top of it. I think it will help us both if we can conquer our emotions and feel in control of something😊
I’m wishing you all the very best with all that you have to face. Please keep coming here and talk to us when times are tough, virtual friendship can be so helpful. You can be very honest about your feelings here, saying to us what you don’t feel you can say ‘face to face’ to others. It is a safe place, where there will be no judgement 😊
Thank you. I've got pretty decent control 95% of the time. I realised that having stuff in my home isn't any worse temptation than it being in the shops i live 1 minute away from. I worry about being honest sometimes, makes me feel like a fraud and a failure somehow, feel like I'm letting people down
I’m so glad you were honest. It has mirrored my own New Year time, and the discussion has been really helpful. I always feel so guilty and as if no one else has the same problem. I’m going to take the advice and I hope you do well😊
What a beautiful honest, open, and, brave message lucigret x
I am sorry that you, and IamwhatIam517, have some emotional 'stuff' going on right now.
Life can be hard at times, and as many of us know, it's all too easy to turn to food for some kind of comfort, albeit fleeting in the mouth, it always makes us feel way worse afterwards, not to mention, when it shows up on the scales.
Be kind to yourselves, and, take one day at a time, one victory against the temptation to eat for comfort, at a time...until you feel back on track, and, in control again.
Keeping a journal is a great idea, I do that, although some days I skip it, I need to get better at that; having to write down bad food choices can be a good deterrent 😊
Some good advice there. I also wonder if it might help not to weigh yourself too often. We all know our weight fluctuates day by day for no apparent reason so I only weigh once a week. Since my weigh-in day is tomorrow I currently have no idea what my New Year indulgences might have done. So I can't panic about it and have been eating normally apart from a few planned excesses.
Thank you for your reply. I used to only WI once a week, but I found this time that doing it regularly really helped. Think I need to blur the 2 into a semi regularly routine lol
Hi Iamwhatiam. There's some very good advice already given and i havent much to add to be honest. I just wanted to say i totally understand the school situation, working at a primary School too. I really don't understand why the lockdown tiers dont go further given the daily figures at the moment.
All the best to you, i hope the powers that be see sense. Keep up the battle, we are hear for you xx
I'm just feeling rather anxious about it. In the last hour i've had emails from the headteacher and whatsapp messages from other staff. I've been on my mini bike a couple of times today to try and take my mind off it but its not working very well xx
Its made worse by the lateness of it all. If I know if i am working or not its easier for me to deal with. Its the not knowing so close to our return to school thats the fuel to my anxiety. I dont deal with change well, quick changes even worse. I am telling myself it'll all work out though!! xx
I know, it's outrageous, for school staff and for families. It will work out and you'll work your way through it but these last minute decisions and u-turns really are difficult, it's not just you
Its horrible isn't it? So many of my colleagues are as worried as us. Worst things is the abuse school staff are having to take online because we're apparently 'lazy and just want more holiday time'. Nothing can be further from the truth. Its so hurtful
I think it’s disgusting that you’re being abused. The way I see it, having a healthy family is far more important, at the moment, than education. It’s too much of a risk for all involved, especially the NHS.
You've a lot on your plate at the moment if you'll pardon the pun. How much you are eating is way down on the list at the moment. Prepare yourself for work and take every precaution you can to protect yourself to keep healthy. Deal with your diet and eating at a later date when you're in a better place to deal with it. I'm the same with pounds on and then off again it doesn't really matter.Speak with colleagues and if you can if appropriate the management team to express and share your concerns.
Good morning Iamwhatiam I just wanted to encourage you. As someone else has said there is lots of good advice already given, but just a couple of thoughts because I really really understand. (my son is just starting his 2nd NQT term on Monday in a tier 4 area). If you’re vulnerable can you shield?
My 2 thoughts: I remember being able to go to fat club stand on the scales and honestly say, I ate a pint of cream this week. I seemed to get to a place where I was almost beyond the need for honesty, almost as if I was daring anyone to say anything. Because it’s actually what is going on in your head, almost well I gained 3.5lb so I might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, it’s as if it’s not fair and one is then punishing oneself.
The 2nd thought: I know it’s Covid right now but I think it’s more fear and stress. It could be something else. I know I stuffed lots of my emotional pain with misery eating. It has taken me many years to realise what is the cause and finally to want to lose weight for me. Also not to shift to another coping mechanism, e.g. going from smoking to overeating or under eating.
I wonder if you could go away today and think what is causing this. Fear of dying? Fear of family getting it, of family not being able to manage without you? I’m not a medic but I wonder if you need a little extra help right now. I don’t know what your belief system is, but again that might be able to help you.
I don’t want you to think I’m being preachy or unkind, these are my observations about myself. I have managed to come to a place where I’m beginning to manage my stress.(I suspect my own tummy issues are a caused by a combination of pain meds and stress so I am Work In Progress myself).
Even in Covid there are people to talk to and I really really think that might help. I’m not keen on fb style sending hugs in a pointless over emotional way to people one doesn’t know, but I am sending you my best wishes and hope you can get this sorted.
Lots of food for thought there thank you. I definitely have a fear of dying from it, so worried of passing it on to others. I've done what I needed to do these last 2 weeks and haven't seen anyone, just sad now that all my work isolating may be undone tomorrow in a PPA less environment with no chance to socially distance. Just got to get on with it though.
I hope you can find a way through. I do know fear breeds fear and although it’s hard because we’re waiting for the ‘is it isn’t it’ news but trying not to or limiting use of media might be helpful, dunno. Do take care.
I do feel for you having done the same thing. I can’t stop myself weighing every day and today it was another increase. I am an emotional eater, and although I don’t work in a school I work for the NHS and am facing doing very long days every day of the week. I tell myself this is a good thing as I am needed at work but the guilt I feel for not being there for my family has me reaching for the chocolate and wine.
Also too many lovely edible gifts were given to me for Christmas. Would take them to work but most of us at work are trying to do healthy eating. Old fashioned guilt stops me putting them in the bin as it is so wasteful.
Reading this makes me realise I just feel too guilty over everything and anything.
Hope you wake tomorrow feeling brighter, and realise this feeling will pass (or so I tell myself 😂)
Your work in so highly appreciated by myself and the nation. I'm going to adopt your point of view regarding work 😊 happy to report that I have woken up brighter than I was yesterday.
Hi, just reading the thread and so glad you are feeling brighter. Lots of good points made already so just wanted to add my support and best wishes for the week ahead. Just be kind to yourself- you are in a really tough situation. Xx
That is lovely of you to say that, sometimes I count my blessings as I have one of the securest jobs and no chance of being furloughed!
Glad you woke up brighter. Weight loss is so hard to do but you can do it.(says the woman who just ate a huge pile of chips 🍟) but I am tomorrow going to give myself a good talking to and it will be better.
I didn't overeat at Chistmas but did eat more. My weight rose 2 kg. I restarted the diet and lost it in a week. So don't give up a lot of immediate weight gain is not difficult to shift. Likewise when you stop dieting you will probably go up a little. All normal ( for me anyway). Now in my 16th month of diet, lost 30kg. More to go.
The fact you are seeing where you are making mistakes is a beginning to correct yourself. Well done. Then looking for help, again well done. Think what you would say to one of your students that had made a mistake. Would it be "go away and never darken my desk again"? Or more probably, "try again, you can do it".
There’s so much kindness, advice and compassion already been given by others above, and all I can add is a virtual hug. I’m so sorry you’re faced with going back into school tomorrow, with all the risks, fears and uncertainties that brings. Be gentle with yourself.Ambs x
One of the ways I don’t overeat is to get out for a walk . Once I am out I can’t eat as all tempting cafes are closed . I work part time in a day nursery and my other odd hours are spent domestic cleaning as I couldn’t afford to retire completely at 60 so I do have some idea of what your thoughts are but I have to think of many unemployed who can’t afford indulgent food. I have gained weight over Xmas but my clothes still fit so I must stop getting out the scales which seem to be sending me into a mustn’t eat panic . I am going back on the free MyFitnessPal app which will help me cut out a lot of the bad stuff.
Yea I think that may be part of the problem, when at work I walk there and back, not been outside in 17 days. Its so odd because while I'm worried about returning to work I'm also looking forward to getting my routine and daily walks back.
I have had foot pain since end of Aug and before that we were walking between 4-9 miles every day with the odd 12 miler . I had to stop because of cramps in my lower legs and pain in my feet . A few days ago after a recent appointment with foot specialist and given insoles I have endured 4 x 3-4 mile walks sometimes breathing through pain but felt better for going out . I am also sleeping better and with every walk I am coping better with the pain . Not actually walking far made me feel miserable . I weighed myself last week one evening I had gained 12lb . Now weighing in morning and not eating Xmas food , walking and doing the odd You Tube Zumba and effortlessly 6lb has gone . I would try walking . When I am not at work I tend to go about 11am then I have earned my lunch .
Thank you for your bravery in sharing.and completely understand your stress and anxiety. It is s worrying time with so much uncertainty. I work with front line health care workers and many have benefited from counselling which whilst not changing the situation has helped deal with the stress of working in high risk environments. I was determined not to over eat over the festive season so bought few treats but found the new year period difficult and ended up over eating foods I didn’t even like. Bad habits are formed over a lifetime I guess. Your reflections gave me pause to think and acknowledge my feelings. I lost a close friend from covid just before Christmas and I haven’t allowed myself time to grieve. Filling the emptiness with food. Lessons learned hopefully.
You are no alone IamwhatIam517,There are so many things we have to deal with at the moment.The pandemic ,new ways of working , it's no wonder we have times like you are describing.
We know what the triggers are so that's helpful, I'm sat here now working at home in the kitchen. Too easy for me to get in there and tackle food.
I have a small treat daily a piece of dark chocolate .before I was eating all sorts of buiscuits ,cakes ,chocolates.
A lot to said about being honest ,easy to swerve things when they are not going well.like dodging weigh in days when we gain.Enough of us on here can relate to things.
You are not alone Hidden . All the worries and feelings you describe are exactly how I felt at the beginning of the pandemic. I was paralysed by the anxiety, couldn’t eat, sleep or function and it took several weeks of medication and counselling for me to get back to work. I also felt horribly guilty about my colleagues who were working hard without me. By the time I got back to work more protections had been put in place for staff so I never experienced the worst of it.It makes me so angry that teachers are having to put themselves in such vulnerable positions. Aside from staff on Covid wards and ICU, I think I am better protected as a healthcare professional than teachers, I have full PPE for every patient I visit, and can mostly socially distance from their family members so it’s just my patient I need to get close to. I am hugely grateful to have had my first vaccine yesterday but think the teachers, especially any with co-morbidities should be right there with us.
I’m trying to think of some positive suggestions rather than just being angry on your behalf, I think trying to keep your body as healthy as possible to give your immune system it’s best possible support is something within your control, so concentrating on getting all the best nutrition from your food. I don’t know how much weight you need to lose, but doing that steadily so your body isn’t stressed by rapid loss. Finding anything that works for you to reduce stress levels helps your immune system, and for me I needed anti anxiety medication before anything else like walking, relaxation apps, reading etc would work. They are working now though.
Your understanding and logic means a lot to me thank you. If the government would stop insisting "schools are safe," I'd be a lot happier with the situation, wish they just be honest and say "we know its risky for you but we need you and the children is schools for everyone's wellbeing." But clearly that is too much to ask for 😪
It's great that you've taken the time to reflect and address your triggers. I've also struggled with binging after Christmas indulgence but will be much more on top of this now the festive period is over!!
Hello, the safest option to help with weightloss is to adopt a vegetarian diet and give up alcohol.Once you gain the confidence of positive lifestyle traits follow up with light exercise and build a sustainable vision from there.
Believe it is achievable however it is not going to be easy if it was we would be winning the battle against obesity and the battle against the vile curse of fast food outlets in our country.We need to spread the message stay out of the pubs, burger bars, chicken shops, curry shops and kebab huts.
That's where this country went wrong.
We have been delivered Brexit let's show as a country this countries population has the discipline to make a success of our country and the nations health.
After reading your post I want to know if you’ve lost a big amount of weight ? If you have, the answer is, you’ve deprived your self so much and over time, it’s your mind talk, you want it but here’s the thing you don’t need it. Take it from some body who knows, like every one always says you always want what you can’t have ? It’s the same with food, basically every thing in life, we always want more. Thats what people don’t realise you beat yourself up over 3.5 pound but here’s the thing that won’t change your appearance nor will it make you look like you’ve gained 6 stone 🤷🏼♀️, you need to learn to stop beating yourself up ! Hence why the binges and you telling yourself “I need to earn that 3.5 pound” when in reality the only person your hurting is yourself, you won’t ever lose weight over night, so the main key is patience and give in once and a while but don’t go mad, learn self control, think of it this way, it’s like being in a relationship, if you rush it to it the spark dies, but if you take time and don’t rush it keeps the spark alive. What we all need to remember as I tell my self every day. I really hope you get past the binge state, remember the purpose of what you want to lose weight for and you take on board what I’ve said, we always have stress and worries just don’t take it out on food and yourself, it’s the worst thing xx
Hi IamwhatIam517, how are things going now? I hope you've been able to refocus and feel more in control after reflecting on triggers. I'm trying to do the same.
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Noooooo.........
Friday weigh in 
I'm Eating McDonald's…
Oh, why did I do it!
Weekend don't ruin me
