Please help me, I have no willpower and my weight is getting me down

Hello, I've been told by my doctor I need to loose some weight after a cholesterol test. I am always trying to loose weight. I've managed to loose two stone in the past but after a few months get bored and slip back to my over indulging ways, putting it all back on. I'm at my heaviest right now. I feel disgusting but cannot find the the willpower to loose anything or even stick to healthy eating for a whole day. Feel so disgusting, clothes feel tight. I feel like I need a personal trainer/cook to provide me with low fat meals without me thinking about it and hate exercising . Need some motivation from somewhere before I get any fatter๐Ÿ˜ž


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  • Hi Kim, You have done it before and you can do it again, for health reasons you need to i have heard from friends that weightwatchers or slimming world classes are quite good because you get motivated by others. If you have a phone there are a few apps that are free and you can record what you eat but you have to be honest! Exercise is boring and even i dont have the confidence to go to the gym but i do walk more, briskly when i can and the fresh air helps you feel better too. Avoid going to town because it's too tempting, coffees,cakes,Greggs (saturated fat in pasties not good). Food wise, eat more fruit, veg, salad, some nuts if you feel peckish (not too many). Try and cut down rather than cut out as it is easier to mantain. EG i am a cheesaholic and like bread, i just cut down have brown bread , toasted usually and cheese a lot less, mature is stronger so i only need a little. Certain diets suit certain people eg Atkins is quite good short term a few friends have tried that and rave about weigh loss. Tea with semi skimmed, a little sugar (half a flat teaspoon), i dont like sweeteners but do sometimes, they make me crave sweet stuff after so whats the point? Good luck sorry written a lot but take what you like but just try a few things!

  • Hi Kimrdt,

    why do YOU want to lose weight? Do you have a goal that you could focus on? Willpower isn't magic, it's realising that ultimately it is more important to you to lose weight than it is to eat something that you want to. If you are not at that point then you will find it difficult. I have put weight on gradually and finally got sick of it. I'm losing on average 2lbs per week so I have worked out how long (realistically) it will take me to get to where I want to be and what other points I might celebrate on the way.

    My big goal is to wear a pair of shorts/ short skirt in the summer holidays. That's a really big deal for me but might be meaningless to you. Can you find something you'd like to do but don't feel comfortable doing now because of your weight that you could set as a goal?

  • Hello Kimrdt and welcome to the Weight Loss Forum ๐Ÿ˜Š

    First of all, you are not disgusting or anything else that you are feeling right now. That number does not define who you are as a person. Secondly, help is at hand. You have taken that first brave step of coming on here and accepting that you need to change things. This forum is excellent for support and advice, and also can serve as a distraction when you feel the urge to eat. Here are a few suggestions for finding your way around. If you are using the new HUApp you won't be able to see these features so I suggest you use the full website version initially.

    The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news ๐Ÿ˜Š

    im glad you are using the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate ๐Ÿ˜Š

    The forum also have group weigh-ins every day if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page ๐Ÿ˜Š

    You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you may have a 'Newbie' badge. If you have any questions or would like a Newbie badge please just ask ๐Ÿ˜Š

    We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Best wishes


  • You must not feel disgusting or disgusted with yourself Kimrdt that won't help you one bit. You must get into the mindset that you are a truely wonderful and unique individual who deserves the opportunity to shine.

    This forum is the best place to be for support, advice and guidance, but only you can decide that you are worth making the effort for. I am sure that you are. Come on the forum regularly and join in conversations and challenges so that you get to know people. We are all here for the same reason.

    There are some inspirational and motivational people and everyone is very supportive.

    Make sure that you enjoy your weight loss journey, it isn't a punishment it is an adventure in which you are the main player.

    Take care and good luck.

  • Thanks everyone just finding it hard to stick to being good with my food. It's almost like an addiction, thank you for your kind words of encouragement xx

  • Try not to think of food as 'good' or 'bad' . . . It's just numbers and some foods are more expensive. Have you worked out your BMI and target calories yet? This is often be much more than you would expect. ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Yeah I'm obese lol. Bmi of 32 x

  • Mine is worse take heart.

    This is how I attacked it 10 weeks ago.

    Clear things out of your house that are a temptation, if you know you can't resist them. If you have to have them in for others, rearrange your cupboard space for you and them and don't open their door! Go shopping and make sure you have healthy alternatives for you. Don't try doing it all at once. Get your self a notebook/journal and write down everything you eat. Try and plan ahead, if you can decide on tomorrow's menu today and write it down. Some of us find once it's written down we can stick to it better. A lot of this has to do with your mindset. Don't call yourself disgusting, if I walked past you in the street I bet I wouldn't call you disgusting or you me! Be kind to yourself and accept it takes time. Some loose quickly, some of us are painfully slow, you have to learn to accept that. When you look at food, don't think good and bad think healthy and maybe a treat at the end of the week.

    Write a list of non food treats as well, hairdresser, nail polish, smellies, whatever means something to you. Set your self small goals, it's much easier than always looking at the bigger picture and then reward each small goal.

    As Ceals said, come on here regularly, we are a great distraction for each other and you will get to know people and get loads of support as you already have.

    You can do it, just start believing in yourself, it's just another adventure in life and it can be fun when your part of this wonderful group of people. Good luck๐Ÿ˜„

  • Thank you x

  • Hi Kimrdt

    I can see that your desperate, I feel for you. Have you ever joined the flora challenge it's free online. Sign up today. It's all about lowering cholesterol levels. There are some yummy recipes which are easy to prepare. Lots of support, 30 day diet, and challenge sheet to hang on your fridge or freezer. free vouchers off milk, yogurts and spread. it's too good to pass up give it a go.

    You can do it . get your " The Flora ProActiv Cholesterol Lowering Starter Kit".

  • Thanks I'll have a look

  • (((Kimrdt))) Nice to meet you. You can do this. You don't ever have to feel this way again. It seems all a bit confusing to start with but after a couple of days you'll find a routine that you're comfy with.

    There is a page on the NHS website where you can work out how many calories your body needs without losing or gaining. They also suggest a calorie amount for you to lose weight. For me I thought it was quite reasonable, I wasn't hungry at all.

    Perhaps it helps just to write down what you eat for a few days and then sit down and work out the calories. Most of the time this is an eye opener and you might see where you can save some calories.

    I'm not an expert, the above is only my own experience.

    We're all in the same boat, there a lots of success stories on this forum.

    Good luck!

  • I've done weight watchers numerous times, and also used the 'my fitness pal' app linked with my Fitbit. Lost two stone doing that but I get bored after a few months and creep back to my old ways. I know I need to think of it as healthy eating rather than a diet but just can't get into that mindset . So hard isn't it? Xx

  • Hi Kimrdt, We are all in the same boat. Temptation Argh !!!! I ate some sweets yesterday after my son left them on the kitcken table. It's sucks , hold on in there we 'll do it together !

  • Hi Kim, there's a cholesterol forum on here too - prob worth a look.. :)

  • where is it

  • Its called cholesterol support - can't remember how I found it... If you go in search posts on your profile and type it in you'll probably find it.

    **Edit - go in browse communities which is an option after your communities - I'm on my mobile and its the 9 dots on the drop down menu at the top then scroll to bottom for browse communities :)

  • Yeah thanks i found it. Today I' m working on my making a mocktail in stead of drinking wine. Got this yummy recipe :Mango Bellini

    โ€ขCrushed ice

    โ€ขWhite grape Schloer


    โ€ขMango sorbet

    All for the weight loss of course

  • I have been trying to loose some weight to but I am doing it one day at a time, and I have brought a treadmill which I have been using one day on and one day off, I have notice my clothes are feeling looser and people are noticing that I have lost weight. If I have a bad day then I will treat myself but the next day I get and carry on with my cut back, keeping busy helps to

  • Thanks. I'd love a treadmill but have nowhere to put one. It's hard isn't it

  • That's a shame because I have my treadmill at home it makes me use it more as I am not one to go to the gym I wish you well and hope you do well

  • Thank you and you

  • Hi Kimrdt i don't know if it would help you to know someone is in the same position. I've been VERY slowly losing weight (5lb since Christmas) but was told by my GP 3 days ago that my cholesterol is too high which was a shock really as despite needing to lose weight I though what I was eating was quite healthy. My BMI is 31.3 at the moment so very similar to yours, now I have incentive to keep going with the weight loss as I'd rather not go on statins if I can avoid it and I'm being re-tested in 6 months. We can both do this! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Hello, yes I have to go back in 6 months too. I just bought some skimmed flora pro active milk. I don't really eat much margarine or butter so didn't bother with that. Such a struggle to not eat chocolate ๐Ÿ˜• Do you do much exercise? My jobs quite physical and work 4hours every evening, dread to think how big is be if was at home stuffing my face every night. Lol. Sooooooooo hard to get into the right mindset at the mo. X

  • Hi Kim, I really can't stand margarine, love butter and was eating loads and think that may have been my main problem, but found a compromise with anchor light, I'm sure it's not the best but it's the best I can live with! I actually like some of the lower fat cheeses like cottage cheese and light soft cheese and feta which is medium fat but tasty so don't need a lot. I don't eat meat anyway but do have fish which I'll increase. Exercise wise I walk the dog for about half an hour twice a day, bit longer on my days off work, and recently started swimming and aquafit once a week each. Plus a bit of bumpy lawn mowing! Good that work gets you active. You're right about getting your head round it, I think that's the hardest part, I was really enjoying eating fat after all those years we were told it was bad for us, but I've probably taken it too far! Still lots of lovely unsaturated fats though, salmon, avocados, nuts, olive oil. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • I did reply but maybe I didn't send it. Was at work so anyway I was saying they do a pro active spread called buttery taste or something. Meant to help lower cholesterol so worth a try. I might grab some when it's on offer! Bit expensive lol. X

  • I'm studying for a nutrition degree at the mo and next year is my final year. We had to choose a dissertation topic last year for it and we were giving some topics to choose from... one was on cholesterol and testing to see if products such as the spread you mention is any better than plain old porridge for lowering cholesterol. Lecturer implied not... just a thought if costs an issue. It is hard working through the mind field of healthy eating and the food industry etc don't make it easy on us!!

    Motivation and willpower though (or lack of it currently for me too!) is down to us, I find that being on here and actively joining in helps to restore my frame of mind so you've come to the right place :). Once you start losing again it gets easier to focus, it is finding the right balance too though so you don't get bored. I find for me the 5-2 diet is good as it means within reason on 5 days of the week I can have the odd treat and still lose weight so I don't feel too deprived. It is also meant to help lower cholesterol but I'm not 100% sure on that as it hasn't for me but then I have other health issues, and it is not for everyone. You need to experiment and see what 'diet lifestyle' works best for you that you can stick to long term... Good luck!

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