OCD and Control

[SpaceMover]

I'm an IT guy by trade, and so a lot of my interest involve technology. I'm someone who deals with depression, and have a lot of trauma which has created a sort of "need" to have control over my emotions, or my environment. This kind of creates a situation where I perceive a problem with, say, my PC setup, and so I go through the motions of swapping out monitors, computer mice, keyboards, etc., in order for everything to feel "right". This can happen up to four times a day, and can take up to two hours of just "moving space", as it were. It's exhausting, and stressful. And it feels hopeless sometimes because it feels so inconsequential, the thoughts themselves, but I feel they come from some emotional need for control, or something else. Not sure if anyone has a "moving space" type of compulsions, but this is the monster I live with.

[deValentin]

I don’t have a “moving space” type of compulsions, but I’m the guy who feels the need to clean empty jam glass bottles before throwing them in the regular garbage (where I live, they recycle everything but glass) in order to have the “just right” feeling and appease somehow his mind. My way of dealing with it is to resist the compulsion and move on to other activities. The need to act irrationally disappears over time. It was harder at first, but now it’s easier with habituation, though the need has not completely disappeared. It’s very fleeting now.

I know it’s not easy at first, but have you tried resisting the compulsions (exposure and response prevention, or ERP)?

[SpaceMover in reply to deValentin]

I have, and honestly. It's probably the most effective way of dealing with it. I've been considering on buying myself a bike so I can get outside. So whenever the compulsions are really bad, I'll just go for a bike ride.