This post if for any middle aged ladies with OCD who are going through or have gone through menopause. I am currently having an intense flare up triggered by the death of my Mom in November. About six years ago when I had a flare up, I went on birth control to help with the intrusive thoughts during perimenopause, and that, along with Paxil, worked pretty well. When my Mom became really ill, I stopped taking my birth control pill because the pharmacy kept changing the exact type (I guess due to insurance requirements), and I thought maybe the anger and depression I was feeling had something to do with that irregularity. Now that my Mom has passed, I seem to be going through menopause at the same time as grieving her death, and it is all too much for me. I upped my dose of Paxil (50 mg now), but I think I may need hormone replacement therapy in addition. Just feeling confused about the biological side of things. Any similar experiences would be most appreciated.
Menopause and OCD: This post if for any... - My OCD Community
Menopause and OCD
It really is what they call a 'double whammy' isn't it? Having been menopausal when I lost my mother, I understand how hard it can hit you. She had been in hospital for a few months prior to that and I was going up to the hospital most days - my OCD and agoraphobia making what was already a heart-wrenching experience still more difficult.
To be fair, I didn't really experience any physical menopausal symptoms - no hot flushes or nocturnal sweats etc and the turmoil my emotions were in were mainly down to my mother's illness and then losing her.
I didn't have hormone replacement therapy but there is a case (though I have to stress I'm not medically trained) for taking it for a short period just to get you over it.
There are other ways of dealing with menopausal symptoms - there is a book called The New Natural Alternatives to HRT. If that's a little too 'alternative' for you there are other books like Your Change, Your Choice. (Check the internet for US publishers, if they're available in the USA. I bought mine in England.)
It's traumatic to lose your mother and you must let your grief take its own course. Immediately after losing mine, I felt as though someone was periodically punching me in the chest or that now and again I was treading on the tines of a rake and the handle would spring up and hit me. The grieving process has no 'right' way - and it's best to do it in your own way.
Mind and body - there are so many connections with how you feel physically and how you feel mentally. But treating the physical symptoms can help you heal emotionally as well. Feeling as well as you can physically will help you to feel strong enough to deal with losing your mother.
Things may well get on top of you now and again and you'll feel pretty much at rock bottom. But gradually you should start to feel better - and remembering your mother won't feel as raw.
Thank you so much for your kind words! Most days lately I have a hard time knowing which end is up and what is causing what. It really helps to hear that you went through the same emotions and got through it. I am sorry for the loss of your Mom--I don't think there is any way to be prepared for how hard that hits.
It's so difficult, losing your mother - I felt as though I had been cast adrift. No matter how grown up you are, it's hard.
I haven't heard of the contraceptive pill being used during peri-menopause - I took the pill - the same combined pill - for many years but had stopped before I reached the menopause. I didn't notice that my OCD went away when I was on the pill but my pre-menstrual symptoms were greatly alleviated, and that of course affected my OCD.
I think most women with OCD will notice that their OCD symptoms fluctuate according to their monthly cycle - mine certainly did and still does! I've found since my menopause that I still get that 'time of the month' feeling - more short-tempered and less patient - though it's not as strong as it was.
There is a need for more research into the effects of hormones on OCD - obviously it's something that affects women, but there could be effects with men eg testosterone. It could point the way to other ways of treating, or at least managing, OCD.
Grief is, as I said, a process, and it doesn't do to hurry it or suppress it. Best to give yourself plenty of space for it. The pain may subside, and then suddenly attack you - something apparently trivial can make it do that - but it won't always be as painful as it is now, and things will be bright again for you.
I would definitely give the hormone therapy a try! I began having OCD about six years ago and did counseling for it. Then, this past summer, I experienced a really bad relapse. My sister pointed out I was in perm-menopause and that that affects mental health. Reading up on it, I discovered that women on combined birth control have less OCD than those not on it. I looked back at the timeline, and my first OCD episode years ago was four months after I stopped taking the pill! I am now back on the pill and also on Zoloft. I feel so much better. Don't know which one helps the most, but to scared to experiment to find out!~
Check out the book "Estrogen Matters." A great discussion of the importance of estrogen for our physical and mental health.
Thank you for sharing your experience. My intuition tells me you are right--hormonal fluctuations have been responsible for many of my worst episodes of OCD, so it makes sense that it would also be the case now. I will give it a try.
I shall check out the book you suggest!
Hi Leslie. I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your mom.It was 2015 when I started going through menopause. My dog was ailing and close to death. My mind started spiraling downward.
I was put on klonopin for anxiety. Without information that I shouldn't stay on it indefinitely because of your body becoming acclimated to it. After several more years of struggling I saw a uro/gyn dr. I originally saw him for bladder problems but he suggested I get on hrt because it can help with that issue. To my surprise I started having clarity mentally and becoming more stable. I firmly believe that changes in hormones can affect or flare up our ocd symptoms.
I've read that some women expierence problems with ocd during menstruating and during pregnancy. Our hormones really affect us emotionally and mentally.
Wishing you the best!
Thank you! Sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet. I have never taken any of the anxiety meds like Klonopin, and I am glad the more I hear about how addictive they can be. Good you were given the suggestion to take hrt by your gynecologist--from what I have been reading, sometimes they give women pushback on that issue these days. I am scheduled to see mine in March and I am really hoping that she recommends it and can help me to pick the best formulation.
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