Question for those with ROCD

[lavender514]

Hey, I've been struggling with ROCD for abt a year and a half now. I'd like to know for those who had it or are still going through it, how did you choose to stay in the relationship? I feel so awful it seems like I should just be single to not feel this way, maybe I'll be happier. But I really don't want to break up.Right now I have this awful anxious feeling since I woke up and my mind is so focused on how I'm feeling, and it is telling me that if I feel this way that means something is wrong. I also am afraid I will have to have this feeling forever, then I won't be happy in my relationship.

Hence I wanted to know for those w ROCD, what made you push through and carry on despite how u were feeling? How can you do that?

[deValentin]

For a long time, I’ve wondered to a disproportionate extent whether or not I was in the right relationship. Now, that wondering could happen once in a while but not to the same extent as before. What changed?

First of all, I realized that no partner is perfect, and if I were unable to cope reasonably well with my marital problems now, what would prevent me from encountering the same problems in the future with a new partner? The same state of affairs would repeat itself indefinitely.

Secondly, in order to determine my real desires, I asked myself some questions like, what advice would I give someone else in the same circumstances? If I do compulsions or ruminations because I can’t help myself, what would I choose to do if I could reasonably help myself?

Finally, I understood the snowball effect of giving in to ruminations. If I let my wonderings about the validity of my relationship occupy all my mind, I’ll be inclined to believe they’ll eventually come to fruition in order to avoid feeling it was a waste of time, which will drive me to wonder even longer, and so forth. Hence the importance to set firm time limits to my wonderings from the outset.

Those are the considerations that helped me bring down my pondering to a reasonable level. I hope it helps.

[Phoenyx]

As I mentioned in another post, I did struggle with relationships OCD for some times without even knowing it was OCD. It was weird because I made an attempt to leave my husband on several occasions and every time I did it, it just didn’t seem right. I felt relieved for telling him I want to leave but I would loose desire for leaving him immediately after telling him. Confessing is a compulsion but I didn’t know it at that time. OCD is so powerful and great at focusing at negative things and convincing you in something you don’t want, it’s scary. I don’t wish it on my biggest enemy.