I feel worse after attending therapy yesterday

[lavender514]

Hi,

I've been struggling with ROCD, and have been in therapy for the past 6 months. I have made some improvements, as I am starting to find that in the time in between my therapy sessions (I go once every 1-2 wks), I am less preoccupied with the OCD thoughts and am doing better overall.

However, since I am doing better overall, lately when I do attend therapy and talk about triggering things, I end up feeling worse than before I go to therapy. I feel so lost. For example I was doing quite well this past week, but during my session yesterday, my therapist brought up a topic that I was preoccupied with and that triggered me. I left therapy feeling worse, and since then I end up ruminating and the whole day I am preoccupied with this topic. It now seems that therapy is making things worse for me?

I feel very lost. I feel like I should just stop therapy? I am afraid of going to session to needlessly bring up these topics and purposely make things worse.

Any advice would be appreciated, thank you for reading.

[KatJ1982]

Have you tried voicing your concerns with your therapist? This may be a common experience, and they may have advice for you to better cope with triggering topics.

I have OCD, and I recently realized I also have ROCD. It is a constant mental struggle. I've gotten some relief from shorr YouTube videos in between therapy sessions.

Good luck to you

[lavender514 in reply to KatJ1982]

I have not, and I think I will do that. Yes, it is a constant mental struggle, it's horrible

[Sallyskins]

Therapy can be traumatic in itself - but that isn't a reason to give up on it. Perhaps have a chat with your therapist and explain how these sessions make you feel worse.

As therapy involves the raising of strong emotions, it is bound to cause a little pain. The point, though, is that the pain should subside and leave you feeling better afterwards.

I've explained this to others on this forum by saying that I had an injured shoulder. It got more and more painful, ached constantly, and any movement was agony. But stretching it gently, painful though it was, eased it, and the more I stretched it, the less painful it became. A little pain for a lot of gain!

I think that for you, therapy needs to be gentle and to go at your own pace. Some therapists throw you right in it and leave you floundering, and it sounds as though this is what is happening with you. The trauma caused by therapy should be short-term, with long-term gain.

Do raise this with your therapist - I'm sure that he or she wants the best for you. Therapy needs to stretch you a little - but not too much too soon, so you're left feeling worse.

[lavender514 in reply to Sallyskins]

thank you so much for your advice, it has helped put things into a little bit of perspective. I will raise this with my therapist next session

[IStillHaveHope]

As others have said, I would raise this concern with your therapist. It may be that they are not a good fit for you and another therapist may be better. I know for me it took a while to find a therapist I liked and could work with.

It is really common to find therapy difficult, especially in the beginning. You're bringing up things that you've been avoiding resisting. Remember the goal of therapy is not to never think about OCD anymore, but to be okay with the thoughts you have. The triggering you're having is actually an opportunity to practice the techniques you've been learning.

I don't think stopping therapy is a good idea but it may be that you haven't found a good fit yet.

Finally, I'm really sorry you're having difficulty right now. Therapy is hard and takes a toll on us. Remember to be kind to yourself. You're learning new skills and they will take time to master. Also remember to take care of yourself. Even though Therapy isn't physical, it does take a toll on us. Get the rest and nutrition you need.

I hope you find the peace you deserve my friend. God bless you!

[lavender514 in reply to IStillHaveHope]

thank you ❤️ I've been to multiple therapists, and so far this therapist was the only one who could properly diagnose me with OCD and provide OCD treatment, so I think I will stay with her, but I'll definitely raise this up with her. It feels scary, but I think I can do it. I will definitely also rmb to take care of myself, thank you

[Rougefleur]

Dear lavender514,In my many years of tackling OCD, I have experienced many emotions following therapy sessions. Learning to accept that they are all valid in their own way and will in some way help with your healing is a big step in recovery. I have had this exasperating condition since childhood, when I couldn't even explain to my parents why i was reacting to certain triggers with such odd behaviors. It was a scary and very lonely place to be. But after years of therapy, I have been able to come to terms with doing the best I can each day and letting that be enough. Some days i feel inspired. Snd others i wrestle with doubts I have been trying to shut down for years. I concur with some of the other commenters that finding the right therapist can make a ton of difference. I recently had an emotional meltdown over schefuled eye surgery that triggered my OCD and exacerbated fears over covid that had been piling up. I needed to find a therapist that specialized in trauma as well as OCD. Lots of my mental health issues stem from being physically abused as a child, and those are still issues I have not fully resolved. The change in therapists has made a dramatic difference, and even when we tackle tough problems, I come put of it with a sense of hope and the promise of clarity. I hope that you are able to find that as well. Don't give up--there are more approaches than ever out there to help to make OCD manageable. And more folks like us dealing with it than you can imagine. It is just a matter of finding the one that works for you. One step at a time is a helpful rule to follow when you are experiencing a setback. And we All have them.

[lavender514 in reply to Rougefleur]

Hi Rougefleur, thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for your sharing. I feel comforted by your words. I am feeling grateful for all the support I have received here so far and it is something I have not received in a long time as no one else seems to understand the struggle.

[Rougefleur in reply to lavender514]

I know of what you speak, anud I wish you the very best in finding what works for you. OCD ca. Be a real bear, but it is controllable with the right kind of therapy. A d remember always that we didn't ask for this. It is simply a part of who we are-no guilt allowed even when setbacks occur. All best with your healing journey.

[Phoenyx]

I had this experience with my 1st therapist. I experienced severe OCD come back after a session with her. I was shaking all night long being stuck on one thought. I changed the therapist. I explained in details everything to my new therapist and she decided to take it very slow. So far I haven't had any issues with her. If you don't want to change therapists, just address the issue with your current one.

[lavender514 in reply to Phoenyx]

yes, I think I will raise this with my therapist.