Did I Endorse Animal Cruelty? Trigger Warning.

[Malmo87]

I was on a date today with a woman who was telling me about her culture which is a minority in one of the asian countries that she was born in. The conversation turned to how they slaughter animals for food and how her parents had a farm. I get very disturbed thinking about animals suffering so I started to ask questions like if the animals die instantly using the methods they use. She said chickens die instantly. When I asked how they kill pigs I think she said she's not sure and that she thinks "they just stab" them. I wasn't sure whether or not her family actually had pigs or not.

The word "just" seemed very cruel, and she said it in a way like that was a peaceful way to kill an animal, although I imagined it to be very painful. I told myself right there maybe we should never be intimate again (we had been intimate once before). Nonetheless, we were intimate that same afternoon. My desire to be with her physically later on made me not focus on the comment.

Now I feel horrible. I have a dog at home and it sickens my stomach that people could act in a way that disregards the suffering of an animal. By me being intimate with her, does it mean that I would also be willing to engage in animal cruelty and that I've endorsed her view point that it's not a big deal to kill an animal like that?

I feel like now I've lost my way in life after starting to get on a good track.

Thanks

[deValentin]

If a long spike pierces the pig's heart, like it's done in some parts of Asia, consciousness is lost within a few seconds, and that's a humane way to kill an animal, in my opinion. Unless one has access to a stun gun, or chooses to be vegetarian and not kill any animal.

I also think we should be careful about judging other cultural practices with current Western standards. Even in North America, I don't think animal stunning is allowed for kosher meat, though reversible stunning (the animal does regain consciousness and its death is the result of bleeding out) may be allowed for Halal meat.

[Malmo87 in reply to deValentin]

Thank you deValentin.

Note that I wasn’t trying to say that Western culture is any more humane when it comes to slaughtering animals, and wasn’t critiquing her culture. It’s mainly my anxiety/ocd spiking.

[Malmo87 in reply to deValentin]

Also, just to clarify, what triggered me was what appeared (in my OCD mind anyway), to be an obliviousness on her end to suffering. I would have had the same reaction if she made a similar comment about the way animals are killed in the West or in any other country.

When I was 11, I watched a documentary depicting animals getting slaughtered for food and it disturbed me for years afterwards, and in some ways shaped my whole mentality from that point forward. It maybe caused a lot of OCD (or maybe I had OCD already which exacerbated the disturbance. My OCD often involves themes of me thinking I caused harm to someone. In this case, I tell myself that I've become indifferent to the world's horrors (I know that's likely way out of sync compared to what happened, but again my OCD causes worst case scenario thinking).

I still feel an emptiness and disturbance.

[Weeping_Willow in reply to Malmo87]

I think when she said 'just' maybe she was meaning that it was one action and not necessarily demeaning the nature of the action. The thing is there have been pretty horrific things done to animals in Western slaughter houses, so sometimes the quickest, one-action way may actually be the best. It sounds like the chickens die immediately whichh is much better than what happens in the West (DON'T look it up but it is not immediate).

I was vegetarian for many years growing up because I didn't want to be a part of killing, but in all honesty, the food chain is natural and it is all about how it is done rather than that it is done and smaller farms may bring a better end than mass production.

I must say there are some absolutely disgusting things that are traditional in Asian countries and they should stop, but if someone grows up on a farm then the act of killing an animal may not seem so bad as one gets desensitised (if you didn't then you would never cope). Just like when I worked at a vets and didn't cry when every animal was euthanised or when I would have to feed live insects and other things to animals when I was a zookeeper. You get that professional shield and it doesn't mean you don't care when push comes to shove.

[Nothing_but_books]

Would you mind putting a trigger warning on your post?

The details can be very upsetting to some. Thank you.

[Malmo87 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Yes, I just edited to put a trigger warning on the title. Sorry if the details were bothersome.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Malmo87]

Thank you 😊!

[deValentin]

I understand how you feel. My son became a vegetarian because he didn't want to be responsible for the death of animals.

Sensitivity to animal suffering has a cultural component. Some Spanish activists try to ban bullfighting and some French people attempt to outlaw the force-feeding of geese to produce foie gras, but they encounter a lot of resistance. It's not easy to change century-old traditions. One needs to re-educate people from an early age.

You seem to understand yourself that your strong reaction to your partner's comments in regard to the treament of animals in her native country mostly stems from your OCD and a childhood trauma, and not from deeply-held beliefs.

[Midori]

Not at all. You are physically attracted to the woman, and it doesn't mean you would take on her attitudes to animal slaughter.

Cheers, Midori