Contamination ocd

[Softbreezes]

hello everyone, so around 2 years ago after a traumatic time I ended up with a full blown ocd outbreak, it started with intrusive thoughts to then contamination ocd, my handwashing is terrible but I’m working on exposing myself to germs but it’s gotten to a point of not being able to be in bathrooms comfortably or to shower without panicking . I’m unmedicated nor in therapy (did try) but I’ve done my research (studying psychology) and naturally try to expose myself to my fears. I’m just struggling with no one who understands fully what I go through. I’m doing everything I can but it’s exhausting, I want to note I’m undiagnosed but the doctors and therapist recognise it as ocd

[deValentin]

In my opinion, exposing yourself to triggers and preventing responses as you're doing is the right way to go.

The difficulty with ERP is that there are no perceptible immediate costs in giving in to compulsions. You may wash your hands excessively and not feel bad about it while doing it. Actually, it may relieve some of your discomfort or anxiety for a while. You don't feel bad about it in the moment most likely because you're counting on your compulsions to appease your mind. The feeling of relief didn't last long last time, but who knows this time may be different.

To counteract the absence of perceptible immediate costs to engaging in compulsions, I think about where that would inexorably lead me down the road. I wouldn't be able to assume normal responsabilities and respect deadlines, I would let problems accumulate in my life and neglect everything unrelated to my obsessions. That persective is unpalatable enough to motivate me to refrain from engaging in compulsions or ruminations in spite of the temptation of doing so.

"Only by avoiding the beginning of things can we escape their inevitable ends" (Tao).