Hello my fellow OCD sufferers!
I have contamination OCD and have a fear of pesticides! I had a trigger from a pesticide 30 years ago and am triggered with the “trail” it may have spread over the years. It sounds so weird as I type this, yet sets off such panic in me. Does anyone know…can pesticides for rats, mice, gophers etc still be toxic from so long ago??
Thank you!
Asking for reassurance and getting it will feed your OCD cycle. It may give you temporary relief but it won’t give you the 100% certainty that the OCD demands. Reassurance seeking is a compulsion used to relieve anxiety from the OCD but compulsions only bring very temporary relief because there will always be another what if. Then more reassurance is sought and the cycle continues. ERP can be used to break the cycle.
Thank you for responding. I know about reassurance seeking…and you are absolutely right. This has really been my only trigger most of my life and I feel I can be cured if I can know for sure the substance is no longer toxic. I know the OCD is looking for certainty that I will never find…..it’s so hard! Thanks for helping!
That’s the catch, there isn’t 100% certainty. So far there isn’t a cure for it but there is freedom from it by accepting uncertainty and realizing that you are capable of dealing with your fear becoming reality. It’s about probability. It’s highly improbable that our OCD fears will come true but they could. OCD latches unto that and bombards us with the what ifs. It can be very difficult, that’s putting it mildly, to look the OCD bully in the eye and take it on. Fear can be powerful but it’s just a feeling and our feelings can mislead us. OCD can make us retreat into a bubble but we don’t have to stay there. We can take the risk and face our fear and the uncertainty. We take risks and face uncertainty in most areas of our life already. What has OCD taken away from you? You can live a life according to your values and not OCD’s rules. We have to go through short-term pain for long-term gain and freedom. I encourage you to take the risk, the freedom is worth it
Thank you ! You sound knowledgeable. Have you experienced success with ERP?
Yes, but I needed to throw in something from Acceptance Commitment Therapy with it as motivation to keep doing the ERP no matter what. I value family time more than anything and OCD took away a lot of that. I decided that no matter what, OCD was not going to rob me of time spent with family in my final years. No matter how scared I got, it was worth facing my fear. OCD still tries to rear its head from time to time but when it does, it’s no match for me because my time with family is a treasure that I won’t let OCD rob me of anymore.
By the way, I understand the trail of contamination you mentioned. I had one too. The trail kept getting longer and bigger over time as I kept thinking more and more things and people were contaminated.
You can take on the OCD bully too. It will win in the long run though if you don’t accept uncertainty because it feeds on your quest for certainty. It takes trust in yourself and the belief that you can make it through a feared thing happening. Trust in a higher power helps too if that’s something you believe in. When push comes to shove, you can do way more than you think you can. Keep your eyes on your values. Move toward those and the OCD loosens its grip on you and then you can claim the driver’s seat again.
Thank you for taking the time to chat with me. You have been very helpful and I appreciate it!🤗
You’re welcome.
I'm replying because I used to be this way from gasoline when it fell into my eyes when I was young. No, it's not still toxic or else wouldn't it hurt the wildlife you mentioned?
you would think so…right? But I feel it’s somehow all over my clothes and in my house. Interestingly, I’ve never seen the poison since the initial trigger…just the uncertainty that maybe I’m somehow unknowingly spreading it around. Did you overcome your fear of gasoline?
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