I have just found this community and would like to say I have always felt alone but for the first time I feel seen.
I have severe contamination OCD, I got diagnosed just after Covid occurred. It’s ruining my life, health, friendships, family relations. I am starting to lose myself, my memory, and the intricate parts I used to be proud of myself for. I can’t see the future and I’m scared I’ll never get better. When will this end? How do I get myself out of this cycle? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. I don’t want to feel alone and sad. If there is anybody who’s got better with support please respond to this it will give me hope
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Easeafterhardship
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Welcome to the forum. This forum is indeed meant to share experiences and give each other hope.
This is how I got better myself. I’ll use contamination OCD as an example, though my OCD theme was different. It doesn’t matter. The same treatment applies.
When I was suffering from OCD, I was assailed with questions like, what if I behave like everybody else and fall sick because of some form of contamination? What if the worst-case scenario does occur? That caused me anxiety, and my compulsion (obsessive contamination-avoidance) served to reduce that anxiety.
I was ignoring the opposite 'what if' questions like, what if my compulsions don’t deliver the peace of mind they’re promising me to deliver? What if they bring me more disadvantages than benefits in the end? I then realized I had fallen prey to the zero-risk bias, which is the tendency to eliminate all possibilities of harm to the point of degrading one’s overall quality of life.
During an OCD spike, I felt that the first ‘what if’ questions had more weight that the second ones. However, intellectually, I knew that the second ones had more credibility than the first ones. So, I asked myself what I could do to give more weight to the second ones on an emotional level.
It’s when I realized that exposure and response prevention, or ERP, was the answer. To stop engaging in my compulsions made the possibility that OCD may do more harm than good more bearable, less anxiety-provoking. If I didn’t invest so much time and energy into compulsions, it was no big deal anymore whether they come to fruition or not. That allowed me to be open to the possibility they may never compensate for the sacrifice of my common sense, so they lost their irresistible strength. This how ERP helped me change my attitude towards the thought of eliminating all possibilities of harm at any cost. I hope it has the same effect on you.
Welcome to the OCD community. You are definitely not alone, OCD is common. Recovery, even freedom from OCD is possible. The OCD Stories podcast can provide hope and motivation to take on your OCD. The IOCDF is an excellent resource. iocdf.org. They also have some great livestreams which are educational and supportive. You can sign up for the online OCD conference on this site. The conference takes place Nov. 23rd and 24th. Scholarships are available to those in financial need. Support groups can be very helpful for support and encouragement but you may need to try out a few or more to find a good one. Some of them offer tips that OCD specialists and experts don’t recommend because they feed OCD, are ineffective or even harmful. There are some great ones though. The IOCDF has a resource directory that lists a lot of them. They don’t endorse any of them, they just provide the listing. It can be helpful to find one where at least one of the leaders is an OCD specialist or the group has OCD specialists and/or researchers in it.
Lots of good advice so far; I just want to add that I have gotten much better through ERP therapy, medication, and learning as much as I can about the disorder. I have gotten good tips and strategies from lots of different sources.
I am 50 now and have had OCD since I was 8, maybe earlier. I lived with it for decades before I finally hit a low point and sought help. It is possible to get better.
One name I haven't seen mentioned yet is Shannon Shy. He's recovered from OCD and now does motivational work. One of his main goals is to assure people that they can get better, and he has lots of good insights. Check out his Facebook page.
I've been so bad with OCD that I've barely been able to do anything but lie on the sofa. But it can and does get better.
Always remember that OCD is a fluctuating condition - there are likely to be good days as well as bad days, and if you're having a bad day it's good to know that you won't always feel like that.
I've found medication very helpful - it dampens down the OCD and makes CBT/ERP easier to do. CBT and ERP are effective, but they can be hard to do and so it's important that you go at your own pace. It's about pushing yourself enough to challenge the OCD, but not so much you feel 'flooded' and traumatized.
It can be hard on family and friends, too, and damage your relationships with them. It's best to be open with them as far as you can. Their patience is much appreciated, and I find that it's most helpful if they simply let me get on with a compulsion without comment or encouragement. I also find it's a spur to get my OCD under as much control as I can manage to minimize inconvenience to others.
There are some helpful books that take a CBT-based approach. I've benefited from Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (part of the excellent Overcoming range of self-help books) and also The OCD Workbook. Just reading these and starting on your own programme of CBT exercises can make a big difference.
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