Harm OCD

[Yani2302]

i just think about it, and the scared is that i don't want to harm anyone, but the jail scare me to alot, usually i think people with OCD are only scared of the idea of harming someone, not the jail, usually when i get the first time this thoughts i get scared, because it was violence, because i'm scared of it, usually i'm scared to hurt someone and to be in jail, but i don't know what scare me the most, because i hate myself, because i even was scared to hurt myself, even if i want to do it. I'm just confused and ashamed if myself what really scare me the most, usually I'm really scared of hurting someone and myself, but jail scares me too, so pls help me because I'm confused

[deValentin]

It's normal that you're confused because one part of you wants to live a normal life, and another part is overrun by the baseless fear of harming someone and going to jail. Then, you wonder what is your real self.

In order to clear the confusion, you may consider that there are many sources of comfort and satisfaction in life. Some are more sustainable than others.

For example, to live in line with your values is a source of peace of mind. Nothing can replace it. No material or social success, pleasure, or drug can take its place.

On the other hand, some sources of comfort can be replaced with no ill effects. For example, you're seeking absolute guaranties you'll not hurt anybody and go to jail. Those absolute guarantees are meant to appease your fear. However, seeking them is a short-lived source of comfort: there'll never be enough guarantees. It can be replaced with a more sustainable source of comfort: living your life in a manner that gives you good reasons to have faith in yourself and the future, and being satisfied with those reasons. It's not always easy, it takes time to obtain positive results, but it's worth it in the end.

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now. I really am. I know how hard OCD can be. One thing that helped me with my Harm OCD was learning that OCD attacks what we care about the most. With that said, I can assume that you are a really caring person who doesn't want to hurt anyone. People who end up hurting others aren't concerned with the guilt or shame of it.

I also read long ago that people with OCD fear the thoughts because they don't think that they can overcome the consequences if those thoughts became real. I can tell you that you can. You are not a weak thing. Living with OCD takes strength and you have it.

Are you taking medication or seeing a therapist? Things for me really started to change for when I was honest with my doctor and asked him to refer me to a therapist. It is important to get one that specializes in OCD though. I spent a lot of time with a family therapist and they didn't really help. Once I found one that was specialized in OCD things really started to progress though.

The good news is that you are not alone. There are literally millions of people out there who want (and can) help. You just need to ask. I really hope you find the peace you deserve my friend. May God bless you.