i feel bad this days, i feel that i want to harm my sister, somedays i have the fear of it, but i don't know why i feel that way, I need help, because I'm scared of this thoughts some times, i never wanted to go that way, before was only feel, now idk, i don't know how to get out of this, because i looked online and it shows that is not harm ocd, and that make me sad, because i never wanted to think Like this
Can somebody help me, pls.
I want to have nice feelings for my sister
Hello. I'm sorry you're having trouble right now. I really am. I know how awful OCD thoughts can be.
Harm OCD is very real and usually involves thoughts of harming oneself or a loved one. These thoughts are disturbing and cause a lot of anxiety in the sufferer. The person having them doesn't really want to hurt someone but the OCD can make them think that they do and that they're a bad or evil person for doing so. This isn't true though. If you were really a terrible person you wouldn't feel bad about having the thought!
If you haven't yet, you should try to find a doctor and tell them how you're feeling. There are medicines that can help with OCD. You should also find a therapist to help you deal with the thoughts as they arise. Therapy is probably the most important part of overcoming OCD. The gold standard for OCD treatment is Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. With ERP you gradually expose yourself to the OCD triggers and learn techniques to help you deal with them. As time goes on you're less and less affected by the feelings/thoughts. The goal isn't ever to make the thoughts "go away". The goal is to allow the thoughts to be there and not have them affect you that much. In my opinion this is a lot better since it helps with other troubling thoughts.
I don't know if it will help but a while ago I put together a post for people just starting out in the OCD journey. I put together a list of things I learned hoping it will help those who are new to this. Give it a read and maybe it will give you a little insight:
healthunlocked.com/my-ocd/p...
Remember friend, you're not alone in this. There are literally millions of people who want (and can) help. All you need to do is ask.
I truly hope you find the peace you desire my friend. God bless.
Hi Yani2302 , OCD seems to be taking another form based on your sister. I remember replying to one of your older posts. I too suffer from harm OCD and from what you said, it sounds similar to my issues. Intrusive thoughts come and you don't like or want them but it makes you doubt whether you would actually do it or not. It's disturbing because we don't want to harm anybody and we don't want to think we are now evil.
I'll summarise my strategy in helping with this. Write down what the intrusive thoughts are and any compulsion you do when they come. Compulsions can be reassuring yourself or avoiding your sister or continuously analysing the thoughts and trying to find out why you have them. These compulsions need to be avoided because they will only make the thoughts stronger which we really don't want.
When these thoughts come, you have got to practice allowing them to enter and ignoring them. I know it's not easy to ignore a disturbing image or thought and I struggled a lot to understand this point. IStillHaveHope mentions ERP which is very useful too. You may think it's very risky to do ERP with a harm thought and I did too for a while but take it in stages. The first level could be reading words associated with the intrusive thoughts or harm. You can then move up to seeing images of things that could be used as a weapon. Then maybe from there it's doing those two steps in the same room with your sister if you are ready to go another step up.
ERP has the same concept as facing your fears up front to overcome them. One thing I hate to do because it makes me upset, but is actually very helpful is writing a exposure script. Which means writing out a scenario about if your thoughts came true and what would happen after. The aim is to sit with the anxiety and distress in order for it to die down. Telling OCD that you can withstand the bullying it takes and it will fade away trust me.
These may seem scary and I don't blame you. But I'm honest when I say it helps and you won't turn evil or like the thoughts because of these strategies. Those were big questions I had at first but I found out in the end. If you would like to me go in depth about certain things I do and how they help or provide some helpful YouTube channels to aid you then feel free to ask me.
Can you say some youtube channels, sometimes i feel that my brain lie to me
I would suggest the ones done by OCD specialists such as IOCDF, NOCD, Jonathan Grayson, and Nathan Peterson. There are ones done by OCD coaches. Some of those are okay but many of them contain misinformation and they lack the expertise that an OCD specialist can give. An OCD specialist is one who is a licensed health provider who specializes in OCD and is appropriately trained in providing ERP. There are some providers who claim this expertise but don’t actually have it. That’s another topic though.
Yeah Nathan Peterson has some great videos on a diverse range of OCD and different stages of recovery. His YouTube channel is called " OCD and Anxiety "
Mark Freeman is also another guy on YouTube who explains how he overcame his harm OCD and tips for recovery
" The OCD stories " channel is like a podcast and they have a lot of videos and you can handpick ones that suit you from their collection
Shannon Shy is a person who overcame his harm OCD as well and he was featured on "The OCD stories" on one of their episodes. He has several short clips on his own channel called " Shannon Blitzes OCD " where he goes over his steps in how he recovered. Bear in mind different techniques may or may not work for you. Some could be effective while others may not.
Hi, Yani2302. I know how you feel. I have harm OCD, too, and it is scary. But, your thoughts of harming your sister are just that-thoughts.
I agree with IStillHaveHope and BrmhmR. It would be very helpful if you reached out to a OCD therapist and possibly psychiatrist who can prescribe meds. The meds can take the edge off the thoughts, which will help with the INITIAL anxiety.
I think that writing your thoughts down to experience the anxiety and then letting it "die down" would be helpful, too. Yes, scary, but I think it will take you to probably the highest point of anxiousness and then there's nothing more to do, but wait for the fear to subside. During that time, you will find that you did not harm your sister, because those are only thoughts.
Let the anxiety build, sit with it and it will pass...
And you will be okay!
xx
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