False memory OCD, Is not always false - My OCD Community

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False memory OCD, Is not always false

RUtalkingtome profile image
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My memories of troubling encounters are not false or exaggerated, although my reaction to those encounters can be exaggerated because of how I let an unpleasant encounter traumatize me.

Whenever I have an encounter that's worrisome it's Iocked in my memory forever; and by revisiting the memories they become more engraved in my brain. I read somewhere that revisiting bad memories is like creating garden pathways; the more you walk on them the more clearly defined they paths become, which prevents overgrowth on the path. In other words, the memories remain clear and uncluttered.

Recently I wrote about what occurred when I passed someone in my town who gave me the stink eye. I told my wife, best friend, therapist and wrote about it here, and the memories haven't changed. Years from now I will remember what happened and it will not vary one iota.

I get upset when someone questions my memory on something; like someone asking me after a torrential downpour if I'm 100% sure it rained.

The problem with OCD, or at least my theme, is how I process these encounters that are contrary to how normal people process them.

My exaggerations come from what might happen as a result of unpleasant encounters that normal people never give a second thought. I worry about the uncertainty of what could happen to me even though people close to me say I did nothing wrong, over and over again.

We all make mistakes and sometimes put people off, but everyone does that unintentionally at times, we're not perfect people; again, how we process these things is our struggle. These encounters happen everyday for people without OCD and they go about their lives without worry.

I remember a period in my life when my OCD was locked away, dormant, and things were normal -- so I know the difference. I need to get back there.

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RUtalkingtome
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BlueType profile image
BlueType

It's wild reading this, like looking in the mirror... (Not in a bad way, good to know I'm not alone...)

I worry I'm going to tie an unpleasant thought to something I enjoy, and remember every detail, and associate the two things. I've spent hours trying to force thoughts out of my head. Ive tried to give up twice... And hurt myself a lot... I was best with my ex, she put up with the O.C.D., but she's moved on.

Mis medication management, and life led to PTSD, and now I'm stuck, again.

They ask if I'm ok, I say no, and they tell me to reach out. Then don't understand why I get down, because O.C.D. is so misunderstood. Take care, people here care, if it ever feels like some people don't...

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