Worried about my son - Am I reading too much into this?

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm hoping to get some feedback to see if I'm overreacting to this. I've been on this platform for a few years now and I think the insights here have helped me a lot.

I have OCD and have been doing fairly well in managing it, however I'm noticing that I'm having strong reactions to my 10-year-old son when he expresses anxiety. I'm afraid that he might have some anxiety disorder but I think I'm sensitive to that since I have one.

This started a few weeks ago when he was sick. His stomach was off and he was throwing up. This really seemed to upset him. He would break down into tears and tell me he's, "afraid of everything." and that he thought he was "spiraling". He would then go on to list a bunch of his fears. Afraid of dying, of not getting better, of being away from myself or his mom, etc. To me it sounded like he was catastrophizing and assuming the worst. He's always been more anxious than his siblings and a fear of mine is that he'll have a childhood "like mine". I've been attentive to him when he's like this, I'm trying to express what I've learned on my journey, but it's difficult since he's young. I tell him, it's okay to have these emotions and to let them out. They will pass and let him know that there's nothing wrong with him. They do seem to pass and he's still going to school and interacting with friends and family, but he seems apprehensive of things that may "trigger" those emotions again. I've told him it's important to face what you fear because over time your brain will get bored of it. My wife seems to think he's fine and he just needs to work through it. I'm wondering if I'm just over-reacting.

I think a lot of it is that I see myself as a child in him and it brings up a lot of memories of being terrified and feeling alone and like a freak. I don't want him to go through that. I start to panic a bit when he's like this since I'm like, "oh no it's happening again". I'm wondering if this is more about me than him.

Any advice you could give would be much appreciated. Being a parent is like walking in a field of landmines

[LiveOutLove_22]

Hey, once again I'm not a doctor or medical professional but to me it sounds like it could be a combination of possible OCD and your own OCD fears. We know that OCD likes to take a hold of a fear latch onto whatever that fear may be and catastraphize it. I'm not sure how long your son has been dealing with these fears but it sounds like it would be worth seeing a doctor and or therapist to get a more thourough diagnosis on his anxietys. And obviosly as parents you want to protect your children and don't want them to go down the same path or struggles you did. You want better for your children; I think all parents can agree to that. But unfortunately, life is unpredictable your children will go through struggles and challenges. But again, my recomendation would to be to get an actual medical diagnosis or go from there. If it is OCD, you will help him through it. If I could have been diagnosed sooner with my OCD I think it would have been easier than waiting till there severity of my OCD to become so debilating. The one good thing about dealing with mental health now a days is that there are so many different resources for both kids and adults to help them cope. There is also medicines and therapies that are the gold standard for treatment. So, I understand the worry and concern, but I hope this advice works and I hope you and your son can find peace in your anxiety soon. Best of luck, remember always keep the hope.

[IStillHaveHope in reply to LiveOutLove_22]

Thank you for responding. I really do appreciate it. I did call his pediatrician and they didn't seem to concerned with it. They gave some advice about the physical problems and said to call them back in a week if things hadn't improved. We'll do as the doctors say and see what happens.

It's hard being a parent and seeing your child suffer. Your first instinct is to do anything to stop the suffering, but if you don't let them (at least try to) deal with it they won't develop the skills to cope when you're not there. It's a difficult balancing act for sure.

I agree with you. It's probably my OCD and past experiences making me hyper-sensitive to these events. When I was a child I would get fixated on a thought and it would not go away no matter what I did. I found early that when I tried to explain or ask for reassurance people tended to get annoyed and yell at me. I then did the worst thing possible and just decided to not to talk to anyone about it anymore. This led to years of suffering and I don't want him to go through that. At least he still feels comfortable talking to us about it.

[LiveOutLove_22 in reply to IStillHaveHope]

Your welcome. And I'm glad you consulted his doctor, that is the best thing to do regarding anyone's health is listen to the doctor's orders and keep an eye on it any changes in his overall state. We all struggle with our past triggers and experiences with OCD but going forward we need to not let our own fears ruin it for everyone else. everyone will deal with thier own struggles but it's only natural to want to protect other people from what you struggled with. All you can do is be there for the people your love and your son if he needs you. I also think now a days parents and children have to have keep an open line of communication even as they become adults. But it sounds like you guys are doing the right thing. I hope everything goes well for you and your son.

[Natureloverpeace]

I am not an OCD specialist but your son’s symptoms sound like some of the symptoms that people with health related OCD talk about. Many pediatricians, and even therapists, don’t recognize the symptoms of OCD. The IOCDF has a livestream on Thursdays for family and loved ones of OCD. You can ask questions during it. It is also recorded for later viewing. You can learn more about it by going to iocdf.org, click on recovery and support then click on livestreams.