Self Sabotage

[DaveRave84]

Hi all,

I am a long term OCD sufferer currently in the throes of a severe relapse. I have had to take 20 days off work since November as a result of this and at this stage I'm wondering if I will ever be able to go back. So far my treatment has consisted of an increased dose of meds plus some counselling sessions. I am on a waiting list to be assessed by a CBT specialist too. This time around my OCD is attacking me by trying to convince me I am a danger to my wife and daughter. Sometimes I get violent images flash in my mind, other times it's just a feeling, a sense that I am some sort of threat. For years I have been able to dismiss OCD thoughts for exactly what they are but for whatever reason I was not able to this time. It's as if I have this monster in my mind that will attack anything I get an ounce of comfort from and bring me straight back down again. Anyway, that's where I'm at, the struggle continues!!

[MothFir]

I hope you are able to get better soon. ERP therapy with an OCD specialist can help tremendously. If you have to wait for this, I'd recommend learning as much as you can on your own about "harm OCD" and ways to deal with the intrusive thoughts. There is tons of good information (books, podcasts, YouTube channels, etc) on OCD these days.

[Overthinker84]

Hang in there man! I've been where you are and still continue to go through it. It really sucks and any advice that's given is hard to accept because it feels like nothing helps. But take it from me, it will subside. I always tell myself that my thoughts are just that, thoughts. The only way they have power is if I react to them or act on them. You are in charge of your body, not your brain. The thoughts suck yeah, but at the end of the day you know you would never act upon the irrational thoughts. It's hard to just let the thoughts be there or dismiss them, trust me I know, but you know who you are and that you are not that type of person. I self sabotage all the time. But it gets less and less the more active I am. I try to stay as busy as possible. The meds and counseling should help lessen the physical symptoms, and the overthinking. I hope things get better for you.

[DaveRave84 in reply to Overthinker84]

Thanks for the comment, in a selfish way its comforting to know I'm not the only one experiencing this. When I was diagnosed all those years ago the doc prescribed medication and sent me on my way. To be fair they worked reasonably well for a long time. This time around I'm hoping CBT will give me more weapons to fight with against this flare up.

[Mcfly64]

DaveRave84 you are a good person buddy. Try and remember that. That bully ocd tries to make us think we are not by filling our minds and thoughts with crap and that’s just what it is , lies and crap. Always here for support 🙏