OCD and erectile dysfunction

[Alexis89]

Hi. I am a fellow OCD sufferer. The last few weeks I am suffering from erectile dysfunction. My anxiety over the last few months hit me to the point that I have sex performance anxiety and whether I will be able to have an erection. Of course under so much anxiety it is so difficult to get one. I obsess that my sexual life is over and that I will lose my wife and I break to tears. I am constantly obsessing about these things. Anyone having/had similar thoughts? Anyone treated?

[TrueBlue23]

Hi, Sorry to hear you're struggling with this at the moment . Be assured that this will only be a temporary problem. Anxiety is what's causing this and the more you worry about it the more entrenched you will become. I would advise you speak to your wife about it if you haven't done so already as I'm sure she will be understanding and will want to help you.

Secondly I would maybe have a chat to your doctor as there may be a number of different things he or she could recommend to help you alleviate the problem.

You only have to watch the adverts on TV to see that erectile dysfunction is a common problem and there are a lot of products being advertised to help men with this issue.

So don't beat yourself up about this and realise that it's only a temporary problem and that there are options for you in terms of the help that is available to you.

.

Best of luck and thanks for posting as it must have been difficult for you to do so 👍

[Sallyskins]

I hope that you don't mind my replying from a woman's standpoint. Although I'm sure that your wife misses the sex, she is unlikely to blame you or want to push you away. So make sure that you don't push her away either. Physical closeness helps a couple to bond emotionally and it doesn't always have to be a prelude to sex.

I appreciate that you might be afraid of physical closeness at the moment, in case you feel under pressure to perform sexually, and that this adds to the anxiety. But don't push your wife away - I'm sure she will be understanding if at the moment you can't manage it.

Men often put a lot of emphasis on sexual potency and performance, and if they have a problem it can really hit their self-esteem. But sex isn't an Olympic sport.

The more you can be physically and emotionally close with your wife, the more the anxiety about performance will lessen. And that should go some way to restoring your vigour.

Emotional closeness also needs a little openness. If she knows you love her and that you are afraid of losing her, she will also feel reassured. At the moment she may be feeling a little unsure of your feelings for her - she may be worried that you don't find her attractive any more. Reassure her that you still do fancy her, and that it's more a question of physical hydraulics than anything else.

And as TrueBlue says, it's worth going to your doctor about it. No need to be embarrassed - he or she will have come across this problem often enough, and will have the medical knowledge to help you. There's more to being a good lover than just being able to get an erection - and don't forget that - but it's possible that a little chemical intervention may help, at least temporarily.

[Alexis89 in reply to Sallyskins]

This a great and useful response!!