Can my life ever be normal again.

[Flora62]

Hi My name is Flora. I began having OCD-contamination symptoms in 2012, they quickly got worse until I began hallucinating rats trying to invade my home. I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2014 where I was first diagnosed. I began meditation treatment which did not help. I also went to a few OCD /ERP sessions, and it was extremely beneficial, to this day it continues to be a coping skill

[SCC1]

I think it's good that you know that your hallucinations were caused by OCD, but I'm interested to know how they came to that diagnosis vs maybe another diagnosis. Can you share that information, if you feel comfortable doing so?

[Flora62 in reply to SCC1]

It all begins a trigger, which can be sound, a smell,an itch and that will turn into hallucinations. I don't actually see anything but shadows/hallucinations. My OCD is contamination so I begin trying kill whatever I think is a threat. My obsessions revolve around rodent and insect, parasite infestations. I have been known to use excessive amount of insecticides, taping up windows and door frames and even putting hot glue in electrical outlets. Then I freeze and want to flee, sometimes Ill go to a hotel or stay outside. My official diagnosis is psychzioaffective disorder. But because I obsessess, and have compulsive tendencies over cleaning in order to avoid contamination it's listed a accompanying symtom

[Flora62 in reply to Flora62]

From the National Library of Medicine: There is evidence to suggest that a diagnosis of OCD may be associated with elevated risk for later development of psychosis and bipolar disorder.

[SCC1 in reply to Flora62]

I have schizoaffective disorder, too. I don't hallucinate, but have delusional thinking and most of my other thoughts are affected. There are also a lot of other symptoms I have from being schizoaffective. I know that my OCD is not related to that, but both affect me immensely. I am so sorry you are having these problems. It's extremely hard living with schizoaffective disorder and with an added illness (OCD or other), IMO, makes everything worse.

I hope you feel better. Take care. xx

[bulldog71]

Hi, do not lose faith. I developed OCD at 31 in 2009. I tried CBT, ERP which I have used over the years. I tried almost every medication known to man for 14 years. My psychiatrist who I loved as he was truly caring unfortunately had to immediately retire for health issues. I had to find a new doctor. The new one took me off all the medication I was on and started over from scratch with Luvox which I had never tried before. I take 100 mg per day which is a relatively low dose and within weeks my severe OCD totally dissipated like I never even had it. OCD was the toughest thing I have ever had to go through in life, but through the grace of God it is gone. I pray it never comes back. I also pray you are someday able to find something that brings you total peace whether it be techniques, medication, or a combination of the two.

[FirstResponder23]

hello, thank you for reaching out. Yes, there are times when ocd will be much quieter then it is. My therapist likes to remind me that ocd doesn’t go away, we always have some form of it trying to poke at us, but through therapy and learning more about coping with ocd, we can make it a lot quieter and more manageable. I am currently going through a louder period, and I have had many times in the past where ocd was quiet, but then ramped up. I too wondered if it would ever “be normal again” I actually used those exact words with my therapist. And realizing that this is a part of what we deal with and there are things we can do to get to a period of time where it is less noisy really helped me.

[deValentin]

I believe you’re on the right track with your battle against OCD. Circumstances may justify some obsessions: it’s normal for somebody starving to death to obsess about food, or on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean to obsess about being rescued. However, if circumstances don’t justify an obsession (in the eyes of an independent observer), it’s paramount to practice Response Prevention like you’re doing. Personally, I found that I had to listen to the rational part of my brain telling me to resist the temptation to try to settle the issue that was disturbing my mind without valid reasons for OCD to finally leave me reasonably alone. It requires regular maintenance work though.