introducing me

[Cherryfizz34]

when I start to reintroduce myself

I think I’m sick again

I know I did something wrong 😑 but that good side of me, doesn’t want to acknowledge it?

I just want to start over, now I gotta force myself to remember- because everyone else does.

With my mom in the hospital, all the nurses from the last 5 hospitals since January remember my erratic behaviour but since it’s not social media, I just can’t turn off my phone until people have moved on to someone else’s screw up.

It angers me weekly when I see nurses and they tell each other. I get defensive, because I remember a haze but not all the specifics. I constantly have to reprove myself. But I’ve now come up with a 5 -10 minute update I tell nurses on staff (because they always change) to update them.

And the sickness and behaviour has reduced a lot. I kept thinking I have to do damage control with each previous hospital but staff always changes and everyone doesn’t know everyone else. So I just focus on the current hospital and hope that good behaviour filters to the rest.

I don’t do that here. The structure of this group is different and manageable to my stress levels. I might go back to previous groups in the future. Each organization and community has its differences and commonalities.

Stress is a major indicator for the “switching and changing” I don’t know if it’s a coping mechanism or some ducked up trauma response.

[Mcfly64]

It’s okay. You don’t have to reintroduce yourself.

[Cherryfizz34 in reply to Mcfly64]

thanks Mcfly64