so let me start off by saying I have severe to extreme ocd, depression, and anxiety. A few months ago I got peripheral neuropathy in my hands, feet and legs. It makes me have to walk with a cane and I’m prone to falling. I also had a lot of other medical things come up so I missed a lot of work. I knew they were gonna fire me, but my wife and everyone said no. I was venting through text to a co worker and said the wrong thing to someone I thought was a friend. Because two days later I was fired for what I said. Which wasn’t serious in any way. Then I tell my friend I’m thinking of suicide, and he claims I’m attention seeking. After an intense argument with him and his wife, that’s a 30 year friendship, and the only real one I had, gone. A couple days later I popped a tire, and instead of calling someone I changed the tire. The guy who is crippled. Great idea, because my legs gave out and i smashed my knee and made a silver dollar sized gouge there. Went to the doctor, there’s a black dot in the wound. I tell the doctor and she said it’s nothing. Days later my wife is pulling out a jagged pea sized piece of asphalt out of a hole no bigger than a pencil tip, I almost passed out. Told the doctor and she was like, it happens. I’ve recently stopped ketamine treatments after months and thousands of dollars I didn’t really have because it didn’t work. And I’m on one medication that does nothing. No medications work. I went to the neurologist and evidently my nerve condition will take at least a year and physical therapy and even then no guarantee I’ll ever walk without a cane. I can’t work so we’re moving back in with my mom. She’s deathly allergic to cats so we have to give up what we consider our children and that’s killing me. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. The only thing keeping me from giving up is my wife. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I don’t want attention, I just need to feel like someone gets it and I don’t know.
hanging on by a thread: so let me start off... - My OCD Community
hanging on by a thread
Hi Battlepope. Welcome to this community! Just want you to know, that you will be heard here, and there is a lot of support from others who can try to help and give advice or just lend an ear.
I'm sorry you are going through all that. That's a lot to deal with. I hope things will get better for you and soon.
Take care. 😊
I appreciate the welcome. And thank you.
Oh geez. You are really going through hell. I'm so sorry to hear about everything. I have peripheral neuropathy too, and it is not fun to have as it's another problem that people can't see. Only you can feel that your feet and legs are numb, but everyone else can't see a thing. That's a lot to handle on top of the mental health situation.
Are you set up with a regular therapist? It sounds like it would be good right now to be talking to someone twice a week while you're in this overwhelming stage. And it would be great if they could get you on some medication that actually helped. It sounds like the anxiety is sky-high right now.
If it's taking too long to get help from doctors, know that you can always check yourself into a hospital's psych ward for a voluntary 72-hr hold. This can be really good, as you'll have a whole team working to get things straightened out, and often the psychiatrist you'll see will be fantastic about figuring out what medication would be the best given your situation. You'll also have access to a social worker who can speak with you and your wife. You might want to get some info about going on disability, temporarily or otherwise.
I'm glad that you didn't sustain any major damage to your knee when you were changing that tire. It's just another exhausting situation that your mind doesn't need to be dealing with. Please rest as much as possible. This is a very stressful situation and hopefully it can be sorted out. You do need professional help to figure out your next moves and make sure that you're doing the best thing for your mental and physical health right now.
thank you for the kind thoughts and words. I will try my best.
I also have a therapist but no appointments till the 18th. I see a psychiatrist, I take my meds. The 72 hour lock up thing is bad idea where I live. It’s more like jail than a place of healing. I’ve been a couple times. But thank you for the advice.
Hello and welcome!
It's really tough when it seems the whole world is against you, and I'm really sorry that this has all happened to you.
I can't be of any assistance, but I do know the frustration you are feeling, so I'm with you in spirit, and rooting for you.
Cheers, Midori
Thank you, it’s nice to know you’re not alone.
Don't give away the cats. Just keep them maybe in a separate room. And I hope everything gets better.
It’s the way it has to be sadly. It breaks my heart, but they’ll be in a good home together.
Maybe they can go to someone that you know?
They’re going to my wife’s friend.
Ok that's good
Welcome, Battlepope. Many of life's normal stresses seem truly overwhelming when you suffer from the version of OCD that you describe. And you seem to be going through a particularly rough patch. Try to hang in there and focus on using the support that you have--your wife and family. All of us that suffer from any kind of OCD need strong support systems, and one of the most helpful is a therapist who practices Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and can assist you in keeping the suffering you are feeling in perspective, so that things don't feel so hopeless. OCD tends to make everything feel disastrous even when the problems are pretty routine for most people. Try to avoid "catastrophic thinking"--a good therapist can help you to find methods to do that. And anti-anxiety meds can help as well, Make sure to focus on self care--physical and mental. It is so important and it does help to reduce the effects of OCD because you can assure yourself that you are addressing what is most important--your well being.
Thank you for that advice. I have a therapist appointment but not till the 18th. I’m in Texas and our mental health system sucks so it’s impossible to find an OCD specialist that takes your insurance.
Don't give up--you can overcome this challenge. We all need help in doing it!
Thank you, I’m slowly getting that I need a support group. I’ve just spent years pushing people away from me, so there’s very few people left.
I don’t know how bad your mom’s allergy is but I know someone who is allergic to cats and he has three of them. He takes allergy medicine daily and he’s fine. I’m allergic to cats but I have one. I have discovered that some cats’ dander bothers me more than others.
Sadly it’s just not a possibility.
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