Need some quick advice

[Marc0133]

Okay so until recently, I had been able to manage my anxiety and OCD pretty well. I was able to do things like leave my room, draw, turn on my game console, leave the house, etc without giving into compulsions and mental rituals.

However ever since I lost my job, my nasty OCD habits have been catching up to me. A few days ago, I had turned on my game console and started to play my game, until one thought that I dread came into my head and made me anxious and uncomfortable. Whats worse is that it made me think this "If I keep playing my game and finish it, this bad event will happen". Since then I've been avoiding it. I know avoidance isn't the answer but its been tough not to do it lately.

Even worse is that, my room just got renovated so it also made me think "If the first game I beat in my newly decorated room is the one I think will cause my most feared event, it will DEFINITELY happen for sure".

Apologies if this made little sense to anyone but its what I'm going through and I also wanted to keep it vague. What should I do? Should I just go back to playing my game anyway and stop avoiding? Please don't tell me to go to ERP because I can't wait til I get an appointment with a therapist. I need advice now to stop me doing all this avoiding. Thank you

[MothFir]

Don't think of ERP as something you "go to" do with a therapist. If you stop avoiding, play your game, and treat the OCD thoughts as irrelevant by not spending hours ruminating on whether something bad may or may not happen, you are doing ERP. That's probably what a therapist would tell you to do anyway; they just might have some exercises or techniques to help you accomplish it. But you can do it on your own.

I suffered from the kind of thoughts you describe for many, many years. Mine had a religious component, as I felt I'd promised God that I would or wouldn't do certain things, and I felt I'd be punished if I broke those promises. This grew into a huge unwieldy system that controlled almost every aspect of life until I couldn't obey its contradictory requirements even if I'd wanted to. I had to start breaking the promises little by little until the system was dismantled and I could live normally. Since I have genuine religious beliefs, it helped me to "explain" to God that I was breaking the promises because I'd come to the realization that they almost certainly originated from my mental disorder, they weren't valid, they were actually driving me away from a real relationship with God, and that I trusted that I'd be forgiven for whatever mistakes I may be making. It was a long process, but now I can see the OCD for what it was.

[Precious2023 in reply to MothFir]

Lovely comments MothFir

I have had various OCD experiences based on what other people in the society do like not contaminating people, not stealing, religious OCD, cleanliness OCD which I have overcome.

However, intrusive thoughts about seeing objects (making it diabolical, charm which might cause harm) like nails on the any surface or padlock or any stuff hanged anywhere or on the ground without knowing what it is, is my biggest trigger now which I am seriously struggling with.

Because of this, I avoid going out most of the time or go on social media.

What do you think I should do that can help me overcome this?

[MothFir in reply to Precious2023]

If those thoughts are things you don't really believe, and they're showing up as OCD doubts, I think you need to treat them as OCD just like you would the contamination/cleaning/religious OCD thoughts.

[Precious2023 in reply to MothFir]

Thanks for your helpful response @MothFir.

Those OCD I don't have their symptoms anymore went on their own as God has helped me but this diabolical symptoms has refused to go away like others.

Every object(eg nail, padlock etc, other objects especially black and red) whether hanged or on the ground or hole(if I noticed anything inside) I see whether known or unknown physically or from pictures or online comes as diabolical intrusive thoughts which heightens my anxiety which is really foolish. How do I test it spiritually that it is truly diabolical or evil? I am not a herbalist, I don't know or do any charm, not a witch , I hate anything evil. I am a Christian

When I was 12yrs old, one of my classmates confessed in class then that she used charm on me to reduce my intelligence and others in class including teachers, saying different objects she used and where she put those stuff, so I got so scared, since then I don't mingle with people anymore. They had to send the girl away from the school.

I came from Africa where people do alot of traditional stuff but I don't do such things.

How should I deal with it? I am just tired

MothFir

[MothFir in reply to Precious2023]

This is hard for me to answer since I don't come from a culture where such beliefs are common. It is pretty easy for me to say that either 1) I don't think that such spells, charms, etc. are real, or 2) if they are real, my own faith protects me from them. It might not be as easy for you to do that if you were raised to think that charms are threatening.

However you do say that you think that the anxiety from this is "really foolish," which sounds like you really realize that your fears of these things are greatly exaggerated, if not completely unfounded. That's what you have to hold onto when the OCD is making you feel like the threats are valid. OCD always makes things feel real -- you have to act according to what you think to be true logically.

A good OCD therapist could help you sort all of this out. Since you are Christian, ideally you could also talk to a spiritual leader who understands something about OCD so they can help you separate what is genuinely your faith and what is being distorted by OCD. (That can be tricky because so many spiritual leaders don't know much about mental disorders and will give bad advice.)

Of course I am not a therapist, but I do think a key to your getting better is to figure out what you believe is most likely real and true, and then to act according to that belief even when your OCD scares you with something "foolish."

[Dempsey1919 in reply to MothFir]

People don't go to God because they perfect,people go there because they ain't perfect. Nobody is perfect and we never will be. Along as your heart is pure then your soul is.

[Dempsey1919 in reply to Dempsey1919]

Sorry I was replying to mothfir. But sorry to intervine. I have intrusive thoughts, and what helps with me is keep busy, an obsessive person which we all are need a focus.two if you can, I can't at the moment because I could never go out my way of thinking of a intrusive thought on purpose, I will have to see a erp specialist for advice on that, but if you can do the opposite to your fear, agree with it, be sarcastic with it that is the icing on top of the cake with erp and if your not ready for that. Just practice noticing your intrusive thought but don't ruminate,engage or push away just notice and go back to what you were doing. It takes practice, I practice it by mindfulness meditation, ile notice intrusive thought and go to breath instead of engzging

[SCC1 in reply to Dempsey1919]

When you say you could not think of an intrusive thought on purpose, what exactly do you mean? I think I do this, but would like to make sure, BC I feel like a horrible person for doing it. Thinking of a thought on purpose makes it 100 times worse to get rid of, even though I know I'm not supposed to do a compulsion to get rid of the thought.

The bad thought I think of, becomes so intense, BC I'm the one who thought it, so I absolutely need to get rid of it, or the thing that I had thought, WILL happen. That's what I believe anyway.

I can't let go of the feeling that "that" thought won't happen, BC I had intentionally thought "it". It's as if I'm telling myself I want it to happen, even though I never would. It feels evil. I feel evil. Literally.

If you or someone reading this, can shed some light on this problem, please do.

***I know I have repeated myself throughout my reply, but I didn't know how else to say things.

Thank you.

[Dempsey1919 in reply to SCC1]

I'm not sure if erp therapist make you say and think thoughts on purpose for you to understand they are just thoughts. So until I get a therapist and ask them how it all works if they make people think bad thoughts on purpose or not I will not think of my intrusive thoughts on purpose. Its my mind I cam do what I want with it. Although I still have intrusive thoughts they are mot on purpose, but when they do flash up in my head I'm learning not to be so reactive with them , notice them without doing a compulsion like saying a certain phrase or ruminating and go back to what I was doing. Your asking for reassurance which is a compulsion, your giving your ocd power by doing that. Try mindfulness meditation that's how I practice noticing thoughts Normal thoughts and intrusive ones. I call intrusive thoughts flashes as they just flash in my head, I notice them and go back to my focus of meditation. It can also be transferred to normal everyday stuff, you notice a intrusive thought while let's say cooking you notice it but don't push it away or say certain phrases as that's a compulsion just don't engage or hung onto it, let it fade away itself and go back to cooking. Practice makes perfect.

[SCC1 in reply to Dempsey1919]

Thank you again Dempsey 1919. You have some very good and sound advice. I'm really trying. Since the 1st time I had asked you a question, up until now, I have been doing what you had suggested-let the thoughts sit and don't give into the compulsions. It's helped quite a bit over the last 2 days. Thank you!

[Dempsey1919 in reply to SCC1]

Yes I am in the same boat as you so I understand. I'm still trying not to give into compulsions. Ruminating is a big one for me. Try to keep busy aswel, I like to find a hobby. I'm learning Spanish at the moment. Thats a form of mindfulness even if im not doing it for mindfulness im focusing on one thing and if i start to ruminate or have intruisive thought,i notice it and go back to my focus which is learning spanish on audable to focus on something else other than my problems. When I see friends it keeps my mind distracted aswel.

[SCC1 in reply to Dempsey1919]

That's great! I wish you the best.