I need advice on situation

[Ryanb1234]

I need some advice see I live in Canada and the age of consent is 16 and I dated this girl who was 16 at the time she accused me of forcing her to kiss me but then later says it wasn't true but all 4 times she said it wasn't true she only said that because she was mad I feel like I can't stop thinking about it I always try to make sure I have girls consent and things part of me feel like it's my ocd like I obess over it I keep asking for reassurance from her and ask her to be honest and every time she say no I would say are u sure I didn't do anything she says yes I didn't do anything I can't stop thinking about it like what if I did something wrong what if I'm creep or a monster where still friends kinda I told her I don't wanna be friends I still feel bad even tho she said it only because she was mad and she didn't say it once she accused me of it 4 times and those 4 times she apologized and said it wasn't true and another part I feel like I have false memories well kinda I think like there one part where we made out and it feels fuzzy in my mind like I can't remember it it makes me worry thinking did she feel uncomfortable was she scared am I a monster there are other times I do remember and it feels real the memory and the other memory scares me because I can't remember or its fuzzy in my mind can anyone please help me I think it's my ocd but I'm not sure but when she tells me people who have hurt her I feel like I'm as dirty as them I just want to address those 4 times she accused me of that she did apologize and later said she was mad and that it wasn't trueidk what to do I think it's my ocd I wanted to die from it because I felt so bad for her I felt like a monster we still talk and stuff but anyone help me find ways to cope with my ocd or these scary thoughts and also I'm on Zoloft 100 mg

[mazkii]

Have you been diagnosed with OCD ? Although your obsessing/checking/seeking reassurance sounds like typical OCD behaviors, having a legit diagnosis would be a place to start from. Do you have access to someone trained in treating OCD ? Even better, specifically trained in providing Exposure Response Prevention therapy?

[Ryanb1234 in reply to mazkii]

Yes I have been diagnosed with ocd from my therapist I'm on 100 mg Zoloft

[EleanorRose]

I echo what mazkii has said. Do you have a diagnosis of OCD and have you ever seen a therapist? The reason I ask is because I personally think having a deeper understanding of OCD, through therapy, is how it can best be managed. Things can get better, you won’t always feel this anxious.

Reassurance seeking is a huge part of OCD for lots of people. It provides us with temporary relief but doesn’t help in the long term.

I don’t know whether you did anything wrong or not (I can’t possibly know because I wasn’t there) The only people who know are you and her and it seems to me like, underneath all of this worry, you know you didn’t. The girl has also apologised to you and admitted she was wrong. Therefore, you have all of the evidence you need that this ok. Try not to torment yourself by keeping searching for the answers that you already have.

OCD is a horrible illness that can really take over our thoughts sometimes but they are just that - thoughts. Not everything we think is real. This can and will get better for you.

Take care of yourself,

Eleanor

[Ryanb1234 in reply to EleanorRose]

I have ocd I been diagnosed with ocd and wanted to die because I felt so bad I'm on 100 mg Zoloft

[SpeakMyTruth]

If you’re been diagnosed from your therapists, your therapist or another clinician should be doing ERP (Exposure Response Prevention with you). That’s the gold standard of treatment for OCD and that’s the answer to your question.

[reshon]

From what you have stated (as I was not present) it was just a kiss, she admitted wrong so I don't think you should further feel bad about it; you sound like a respectable person, have a conscience and try to move on. If you have OCD that's a separate issue; try and get help with a professional or possible use this forum for further follow up and support.

I am happy to listen and support in anyways I can for you.

[Ryanb1234 in reply to reshon]

She also accused m of groping her breasts but then later said it wasn't true that she didn't mean it part of me thinks it's my ocd because I have memories almost like they feel real but don't feel real almost like I think there real or end up trying to feel real almost like I don't have a lot of confidence in that memory I guess if that make sense she's getting tired of reassuring me but I think it's my ocd I'm not sure but my ocd makes me feel so bad and showed me pictures of it saying things like u hurt me and stuff but then later apologized for everything for the pictures and for saying I groped her breasts but I feel like my ocd can't let it go idk what to do I even wanted to die from it she accused me of it 4 times all those 4 times she apologized for saying it idk what to do I'm scared and confused let me emphasize that she did apologize for the pictures and for saying that I'm so scared and confused

[Ryanb1234 in reply to reshon]

I need advice please help me I feel so guilty

[Hidden]

she triggered your ocd. so many cases of ocd are triggered by some idiot not thinking before they say something. same with mine some idiot triggered it.