Intrusive Thoughts

[PaperTigers]

So my problem is that almost every time I get an intrusive thought, I fight it. I tell my brain to shut up and/or tell it how I really feel. Then I ruminate until the next intrusive thought hits and the cycle continues. I can't get out of this rut.

[SCC1]

I have a similar problem. I fight my thoughts too, but I have to cancel a thought by doing a mental compulsion such as putting in another thought. A thought that I feel actually takes the intrusive one away.

It could be about myself or something/someone else, but not BC I want anything to happen to someone. I also say, "fuck it" and "shut up!" because I get so angry. It's so hard to have the OCD and have my mind plagued by it, almost constantly.

You're right, it is a vicious cycle and the next thought comes right after another. I can't get out of "this rut" either.

If I could get away from the thought/compulsions, it would be so freeing. I'd like to know what having a OCD-free or "less OCD" life is like!

I'm sorry I can't offer advice, just wanted you to know, I go through this too, so you don't feel alone w/ this.

I truly hope you can find a way to feel better. xx

[PaperTigers in reply to SCC1]

thank you so much just for letting me know I'm not alone. I hope we each find a better way to handle this. It just feels like fighting a tangled mess of string and when you try to get one loop loose, you just tighten it somewhere else and make a bigger mess! I know it's a silly analogy but it's what came to mind.

[SCC1 in reply to PaperTigers]

It's not "silly". I know what you are saying. For me, it's like a puddle of thoughts and you take a little away and more fills it's place, like it's raining thoughts (or something like that). I'm never free.

[avoidingthebadthings]

I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds very intense and exhausting to have to deal with this level of obsessive thinking. It is so draining to have to focus this hard on what you are thinking.

It reminds me of times when I felt I had to see the words that people were speaking spelled out in text (like subtitles). Even driving in a car with someone, I would see their spoken words being typed on the windshield like a computer screen with a cursor. If I let down my guard, the subtitling would stop and I would panic about not seeing the words spelled out. I really beat myself up if I stopped seeing all spoken words typed out in my brain.

For me, this intense fixation only stopped once I got on pretty high doses of medication. Once I did, all of that intensity went away and my brain relaxed enough that I could see what I was making it do and how I didn't need to make it do that. The medication helped me describe out loud to a therapist what was going on, and just saying it out loud somehow broke the cycle and my superstition that I had to do it didn't seem necessary anymore.

After twenty years, I'm on much less medication and occasionally I catch my brain typing out words. I will get scared that I won't be able to stop, but somehow knowing that I have stopped it before makes it easier to say to my mind, "Okay, we don't need to do this. We'll be alright without spelling everything out."

I really hope you get relief soon, because it's awful to be in such an intensive rut. Maybe your medication can be increased to help get a handle on this cycle? Your brain definitely deserves a break from operating like this. I hope for all the best for you.

[PaperTigers in reply to avoidingthebadthings]

Oh man, I'm sorry. It's so strange that our brains are capable of coming up with these obsessions. I'm glad you're doing better and I hope you continue to improve.

I have this thing with numbers. Every number means something different though there is -some- variation but for example, 4 may mean something is good or it's okay to proceed or it's a confirmation of something or simply "yes" in response to a question. I look at the clock -constantly- to watch for ques. I use it to guide my decisions and that's probably very bad.

[Mcfly64]

Are you taking any medication and seeing a therapist?

[PaperTigers in reply to Mcfly64]

Yes, both. I see a therapist once a week and just saw my psychiatrist yesterday for a follow up. I actually have a dual diagnosis so it's complicated.

[WildernessMAn]

Hello Paper TigersI so identify with Dysfunctional Thoughts that seem so Intrusive. Yet i have learned through Experience and Cognitive Psychology that there are certain Methods that work and there ate certain methods that dont work because they are Counter Productive.. the Fighting Method does not work because when we try to control our Thoughts it has a negative effect on us. Its self destructive. Learn more about The A.B.C. Method of Cognitive Psychology books.. like the real popular book called, "Feeling Good" by David Burns MD. Its really helped me alot. I hope that helps friend.

[PaperTigers in reply to WildernessMAn]

Thank you so much for the recommendation, I appreciate it!

[WildernessMAn in reply to PaperTigers]

Your welcome Dear friend.