Hi, I woke up one day and out of the blue about 3 months ago started having intrusive thoughts mostly involving knifes, people getting hurt by them or me hurting them or myself with them. My doctor said normally something triggers such things but I am unable to think of what could have brought this on. My anxiety is through the roof as you can imagine day and night very distressing thoughts bombard me and I unintentionally fixate on them. Causing worry, panic and even more anxiety. It’s like you are going round on a hamsters wheel. They feed off each other. I’m not diagnosed with OCD yet but I have multiple appointments lined up to try and get help. Currently on mirtazapine and olanzapine. Not sure if they’re helping and if so how much they’re helping. I am able to label these thoughts unwanted and intrusive.. but unable to stop them. The harder you try not to have them the more they come. Currently waiting to talk more with the doctors about different medications and therapies that may help me. I would love to hear if certain types of medications help you more and what you do to keep your anxiety to a minimum. As the anxiety fuels this so much more. When I’m calm It happens much less.
intrusive thoughts / OCD? : Hi, I woke up... - My OCD Community
intrusive thoughts / OCD?
hi. Unfortunately this sounds just like me. I was 31 and no problems before. Out of the blue I had the exact same symptoms as you. That’s the bad part. The good part is there is hope. I have used many therapies to different degrees of success. But the medicine that has helped me the most are clonazepam and lamictal. You might want to ask your doctor about these two. You will end up being much better off. You just have to be patient which I know is very difficult. Hang in there and may God grant you the peace you deserve.
This therapist's website has some excellent articles about intrusive thoughts and rumination:
This one in particular might be a good starting point:
drmichaeljgreenberg.com/und...
I take a moderate dose of fluoxetine every day, which helps reduce the power of intrusive thoughts. However it is easy for me to get back on the "hamster wheel" if I start analyzing the thoughts and ruminating on them. The articles and techniques linked above have helped me to stop doing that.
Hello, I'm really sorry to hear that your struggling right now. I'm not a doctor, but those thoughts do sound like Harm OCD. I don't know if this helps, but OCD attacks what we value the most and tells us the worst about it. From what you've said I can determine that you are probably a kind person and take pains to not hurt anyone. Also it may help to know that OCD doesn't cause you to "lose control" and people with it don't tend to act our their thoughts. In fact their repulsed by them.
As for the treatment part, medicine and therapy have something like an 85% success rate. That's not to say it's easy though. It does require effort and being willing to be uncomfortable facing your OCD fears. For the medicine it really depends on the person. Different people do better on different medications. If you do try one remember that it can take a few weeks before it starts to have any effect. In fact in the beginning it may make you feel worse for about a week or two (at least that's been my experience). Communication with your doctor is key in this period and if the medicine you're trying doesn't work, it's okay, there are plenty of others. It may take you a few tries to find something that works for you. Also it's important to find a therapist who specializes in OCD. Usually they'll specialize in Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT); Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT); or Exposure Response Prevention (ERP). ERP is considered the "gold standard" in OCD therapy.
I've had OCD all my life and it has moved and changed as I have. When I was younger I had Harm OCD and I know how terrible it can be. It can make you feel crazy and alone. Know you're not alone though. There are plenty of people out there who want (and can) help. It is possible to live a fulfilling life even with OCD.
Lastly, I wrote a reply a while ago detailing what I've learned on my OCD journey. It is here: healthunlocked.com/my-ocd/p... Maybe it will help you a bit on your journey.
I hope you find the peace you deserve my friend. God bless you and let us know how you are doing.
thank you so much for the comments, yes I feel such distress by the thoughts. It isn’t me or anything I’d ever want to even think about let alone anything else. I’ve read many articles saying the same thing usually it’s the complete opposite to anything you would ever want. I’m a king gentle person… so stuff like these thoughts sticking in my mind or me fixating on them are very sickening to me. The worry, the stresses and the anxiety are unbearable at times.
Thank you for the link. It's clear, and offers real hope.
Glad it was helpful. I know how hard it is starting out. It can be so scary and confusing. The good news is that we all know how you feel and you're not alone. Keep posting how you're feeling and how you're doing. We're all rooting for you 
Hello there,I have harm OCD too. It started 2 years ago. I had really bad anxiety during Covid ,mainly because of being in PhD program while raising 2 toddlers and being alone. It was the stress I was facing and the genetic component together I think caused my OCD. It was also out of the nowhere where I thought I could hurt myself. I am on medication now and it helps a long with therapy (ERP). Together they reduce the "noise" a lot. I am on sertraline.
Hi. I know from experience how terrifying those types of thoughts can be. For me they started about 35 years ago out of the blue during a time of great stress. Thankfully I survived and my OCD has been more about relationship and religious issues in recent times.
I read all the comments before mine, and there’s not much more I can add as everyone really gives sound advice. Therapy is a crucial tool into living a better life. Medicine is only another tool that helps, but it won’t get you to complete the job. I’ve heard meditation helps a lot as well, but I just tried it today for the first time, so we’ll see how that goes. Surround yourself with family and friends as well. I wish you all the best, and I’m sending you positive vibes!
I can say dude. I absolutely feel your pain. This illness will attach itself to anything. It’s like your brain is trying to scare the crap out of you. You’re doing a great job by identifying them as intrusive thoughts. Which is really good. But, the more you try to fight the more intense it can be. It’s way easier said then done, but, the best thing one can do is to let go. Push on through. It will try to bring you to your knees if you let it. Trust in God and then trust in your reasoning skills. I pray you get the help you need and that those around you are supportive and understanding. God bless.
Sorry To Hear About This.
I wish I could take this pain away from anyone having it. I know how incredibly debilitating it is. Oddly enough, this is exactly how mine started many years ago. I was watching TV, and I am not sure if something was said or if the thought just popped into my head. But I started worrying about if I were to sleep walk and harm those I love without realizing it. I used to hide the knives, scissors, etc. before bed. I would lock my bedroom door and put things in place that may wake me up if I were to get out of bed. I was having panic attacks daily at work, unable to focus my mind on anything else, unable to eat, and I did not know what to do. Those around me told me those were really wild thoughts and unlikely to ever happen. But to me it felt 100% real. I could not take it anymore and that is when I started going to therapy. CBT helped bring me out of that dark place and off of that hamster wheel. I honestly felt somewhat better just hearing my therapist tell me that other people have these thoughts, not just me. I definitely recommend you seeing a therapist who specializes in OCD. There are many therapists out there who are not equipped to deal with OCD. So please ask them their specialties. In the interim- try to distract your mind. I know this is easier said than done. But I used to have to do anything to get my mind off of it, and it helped some. Like when you start having those thoughts, tell your mind "no", and then start ACTIVELY thinking of something else. Like start naming things in the room you are in, or if you are watching tv, I used to read the credits out loud and focus on the names. I had to force my mind into thinking about something else every time an obsessive thought popped into my head. Hopefully that will help ease some of the stress until you are able to get in with a therapist to begin your treatment. I wish you the best of luck, and am so sorry you are going through this.
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