my son’s symptoms seem to be getting worse

[Tara178]

my 40 year old son’s symptoms seem to be getting worse ! I am at my wits end knowing what to do!! He is a vegetarian and he cooks in his own part of the house but if anyone brushes past him either in the house or out shopping he has to throw away his shopping in case it is contaminated with meat. He washes his hands continually. He someone hapoens to brush past his door he has to wash the door and frame. Another symptom is that if doors are banged it will damage his tech equipment ie tv, telescope. He gets real anxiety if this happens. He even threatens to leave. I am getting so upset watching this. This is so extreme. Please if someone can say if anyone else has these symptoms or anything like them. As I say I am at my wits end. Thank you

[LiveOutLove_22]

Hey I read your post I suffer from major contamination OCD. I struggle with handwashing to the extreme I am working on that currently with my therapist in ERP training. I also would sanitize things constantly and throw away things I deemed to be contaminated. I’m not sure if your son is in therapy or on medication but as far as handwashing my therapist has said when do people usually wash there hands when they eat or go to the bathroom or touching raw meats other than that you really shouldn’t be washing your hands. And if he’s cleaning a lot see if he can lessen the cleaning or delay it for a long as he can. Even if he can only delay cleaning or washing for a few minutes that’s progress. But I completely understand and sympathize with what you and your son are dealing with and going through. Delaying compulsions is the best thing he can do. It’s the compulsions that are the hardest because you think there helping but really there not. But just take it day by day a little at a time. I know it’s hard but don’t give up hope. I’m rooting for you and your son. I hope he can get the help he needs soon. Take care.

[SCC1]

It isn't right that your son's choice to not get help is affecting you in such a bad way. Can he maybe try to find a place to live where there are professional staff to help him do chores and get through his day a little better? Like maybe a group home? They have other residents there that sometimes need extra help with anxiety or other mental health issues. There might be a therapist, too, involved with a group home, but if he is not willing to ask for help, maybe the therapist (if there is one) would be optional if he were to find some place like that. I know that the staff in a group home help with daily activities the resident has trouble with. At least that's what I've been told.

You cannot keep going like you are, becoming more sick. Is he aware that you are suffering too?

It is important that something is done now to prevent any further illness for you as well as your son.

[Tara178 in reply to SCC1]

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it!

[SCC1 in reply to Tara178]

You're welcome!

[Natureloverpeace]

I wouldn’t suggest having someone help your son with his chores/compulsions as this would just make his OCD worse by reinforcing the obsessions. Basically, it would be feeding the OCD. He needs response prevention not response enabling.

There is a virtual support group that meets on the second Saturday of the month called Family and Loved One’s OCD Support Group. It is led by Chris Trondsen and his mother, Liz Trondsen. Chris is an OCD Specialist, a Lead Advocate with the IOCDF and is on the board of SoCal OCD. His mother is an awesome advocate. The group starts out with a guest speaker(s) and then opens up for questions. A few days after the group. Liz sends out an email with the resources discussed in the group. This is a free group and is available globally on Zoom. If you’re interested in trying out this group, please feel free to send me a private message. I can give you Liz’s email address so you can get on the email list for it. She sends the link for the group through email.

[SCC1 in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Hi Natureloverpeace. I just saw your reply and want to say that when I suggested someone help her son with his chores, I didn't mean it connected with OCD; it is something separate. I think if someone needs help with an activity, not necessarily concerning OCD (although that as well), one should be able to receive it. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with asking for help with something that is difficult for someone to do.

[Tara178 in reply to SCC1]

Thank you for the advice.

[Tara178 in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Thank you

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Tara178]

You’re welcome. The group on Saturday, May 11th will be an hour longer to fit all the speakers in but it will still have a Question and Answer session after the speakers have finished.