Intrusive thoughts

[Vu88]

Hi,I have compulsions since I was a kid,washing hands and so on,now I'm over 30 and still have problems with that,I did have intrusive thoughts years ago,when I thought of something and believed it,then had to wait a certain time to see if there is any evidence I did something lol. Anyway,it got real bad recently, where I have weird thoughts about doin harm to family members,like disgusting thoughts. Where i always need reassurance,then after a while I feel better knowing nothing happend. Recently I had a thought about my nephew,and I had so many intrusive thought lately, I just got so sick of it and was thinking "what if I really wanna do that,I would feel better? Would I feel guilty?" ,after that ,when I got home to visit my brother again,I was like.. I'm not gonna fight these weird feelings and just let them be and not fight it and just continue my day, Then when I got there I was like 'omg what if I really did something,what if I went into the room and now I don't know? What if I blacked out,what if what if..and I'm so tired of it. I don't have any actually memory that I did anything, just over analyzing and making up scenarios if I did it. It never got so bad for me that I really don't know what to do and how to stop it,I feel like a monster for thinking like that and questioning myself non stop.Anyone else has problems like this and how do u deal with it? With the uncertainty of never having real proof u did something or not?

[deValentin]

If you want to be OCD-free, at one point you need to stop entertaining your OCD thoughts. However, it is normal for your obsessional worries to linger somewhat because you can’t be 100% sure ignoring your OCD thoughts is the right decision. That lingering doesn’t mean you value your OCD, it just means you find it difficult to be satisfied with reasonable evidence there is nothing to worry about possibly harming relatives.

It is difficult because if you dwell on your OCD worries for a short amount of time, it’s no big deal. You aren’t hurting anybody, and you feel some relief doing it. The problem is that there is no end to it. If you worry 20 minutes, what’s going to stop you from worrying 20 more minutes, and so on? So, you need to look at the big picture and ask yourself how you want to spend the rest of your life. That will make it easier to dismiss thoughts that part of you deems baseless. Once you decide to focus on something different, expect your OCD feelings to resist a little longer because you need time to get used to some uncertainty in a domain that’s important to you. But, once they go away, you’ll be glad they’re gone.

[Vu88 in reply to deValentin]

Thank you so much for the response, you have no idea how it helps me, I will do what you say,I'm sure my mind will think about the situation differently when I don't focus on it so much,gonna give me clarity, thank you so much ❤️

[deValentin in reply to Vu88]

You’re welcome. One more comment if you don’t mind. If someone tells you “I’ll be courageous when all danger disappears” or “I’ll eat healthy when all temptations to eat unhealthy are eliminated”, you’ll doubt their motivation and rightly so. Likewise, one can’t say “I’ll behave in an OCD-free manner when all anxious thoughts are gone”. One cannot be half-hearted with trying to live OCD-free; otherwise, OCD will always win. At the same time, you can’t be too hard on yourself; there may be some relapses along the way, especially in time of stress. Response Prevention has been proven so far the best treatment for OCD. Good luck on your journey towards an OCD-free life! You can always reach out on this website.

[Vu88 in reply to deValentin]

Wow I never thought about ocd like that,that makes so much sense! You helped me allot,you have no idea,I'm not gonna let my brain rule my life and ruin it,I choose how I wanna live and I'll fight. Thank you so much❤️ and I will if I feel anxious again,I'll reach out,thank you❤️

[3BirdLover]

This can really drive you into a deep deep hole .... I know I've been there.

The real answer to this is that you have to learn tools to fight these scary thoughts. Are you in therapy for this? I finally got to the right person and learned so many good tools. I started developing index cards with each "tool" written down during the times these thoughts would come into my head.

The worst thing you can do is ask for reassurance, or to give in to the compulsion and act on it. This will make the compulsion even worse.

I talk back to the intrusive thought when it comes into my head like "Really? Get real...you know better than that!", or "Get away from me!!!! Get out of my head!", or "you are a liar!" etc and it really helps.

Developing the thought of "Maybe...maybe not" and sitting with the uncertainty is the ultimate thing to do. It is so very hard, but do it anyway. It will get easier the more you do it! I almost committed myself to the psych unit at a hospital a few years ago when it got so bad. But these tools really help.

Read books on "Harm OCD" also is helpful. Thoughts now go in and out of my head and I'm able to shrug them off. Some are very very weird but I can not shrug them off and go on with my life no matter how weird they are.

You can do this!!!! Find an OCD special therapist to help you......😘

[Vu88 in reply to 3BirdLover]

That's a great technique, I'll try to do the same. The uncertainty thing is hard tbh,but I'll try,eventually it has to get better! I mean if u struggled so much and got better,it just shows how we can take control back and not punish ourselves all the time!. Thank you so much for the comment 😘🌹❤️

[3BirdLover in reply to Vu88]

I REALLY struggled. I have a few types of OCD. I also have Scrupulosity and the intrusive thoughts and scrupulosity were horrible. I thought I had to CONFESS everything that went through my mind to someone. It was bad. You CAN get better but you have to take the risk of not compulsing! ❤️

[Natureloverpeace]

Everyone has intrusive thoughts, even people without OCD. The problem is we attach meaning to them , ruminate on them, focus on the worst case scenario and take our feelings as facts. “ I feel like a monster so I must be one.” It’s natural to want to get rid of the intrusive thoughts and distress but directly trying to do that reinforces the obsessions. Part of ERP is learning to accept that the intrusive thought is there but not to engage with it. This doesn’t mean you approve of the thought. Trying to get rid of a thought just causes it to grow stronger. OCD attacks by trying to cause you to doubt your identity or actions in areas that you value. It sets off false alarm bells where danger doesn’t exist. Doing mental or physical compulsions reinforces the obsession because it gives temporary relief. The thing is the relief is temporary and it makes things worse long-term because OCD will always throw another “what if” your way.

[Vu88 in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Thank you for the comment,you are completely right,I love this comment..anytime I feel my brain trying to get me into the "what if" scenario, I read all the comments and it gives me strength. Thank you for helping 🌹

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Vu88]

You’re welcome.