Intrusive thoughts/images: I’m tired of... - My OCD Community

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Intrusive thoughts/images

Starrlight
Starrlight

I’m tired of intrusive thoughts and my imagination runs wild as well with terrifying disturbing images. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and so anxious. It’s like torture. I’m tired of living but I must because I love my family and wouldn’t want to hurt them. So tired of suffering though. I pray but feels like God is far away. I feel alone.

23 Replies
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You are not alone same here deal with disturbing thoughts also and also makes me feel depressed thinking they will never go away and ruining my life

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Xoxo33

Yup exactly. We must have quite imaginations and are creative people but why do our brains torture us with the bad thoughts? I’m so tired of living this way too. I wonder if there are meds out there that really help with this although I hate having to take meds.

Xoxo33
Xoxo33 in reply to Starrlight

I take pristiq been on it for about 9 years already but I think they stopped working a while ago because I feel depressed and anxiety everyday with disturbing and negative thoughts all the time and I also hate the idea of having to take meds I want to stop them but scared I will feel worse

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Xoxo33

I hear you. I’m on a med that I don’t know what it’s doing but tried to cut down and had terrible results so I went back up.

Ddorne
Ddorne in reply to Starrlight

Oh I know the scary and intrusive thoughts! I’ve had OCD since I was 10. The thoughts morph from certain subjects to others. Sometimes it is worry over family. The worst for me is when my obsession is harm thoughts and thinking I must be a monster.Im on Prozac and gabapentin. I suppose it helps, but not that much. I see a therapist 2 times a week. That is very helpful. I know I need to get back to my Exposure therapy. Anyway this is treatable, it just takes time. God bless

Liti

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Ddorne

((((((((Liti))))))) I hear you..it’s tiring isn’t it? I’m tired.

Starr,

it's hard to ignore the elephant in the room...even with prayer.

But, i assure you GOD understands the human brain. It's flawed,

like all other parts of our body. Each part has specific weaknesses.

Mental & emotional issues are least understood, even by doctors.

We can't give up on prayer.

Keep your head up. Courage. Faith. Eventually you can minimize

the size of the elephant....

Agape

I hope to minimize it. I feel like right now God isn’t helping and I’m so tired of suffering.

Wow.. I can relate!! I suffer from one of the worst sub types o OCD. So much uncertainty. I dont know who I am. I had an incident a year and a half ago where I was practicing ERP for the time and it back fired horribly. All I am left with today is a couple of mental images and fog. Very scary! Who am I??

I cling daily to my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Its still very painful but He suffered far more than we ever will. I will ray for you and I would appreciate your prayers and we endure and persevere together.

Sure, can’t hurt. Thanks!

I feel you completely. Im sorry you are going through this, shoot im sorry we all are. All we can do is pray for better days.

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Niccc___

Yes b praying for us. ❤️

You are not alone and there is help. It might be embarrassing but find a psychiatrist that you can talk to. It does help and you know they heard it all. Our brains are funny and you stress about having these thoughts and think about stressing so u will have the thoughts. It sounds weird but it’s true. Do no be ashamed

Good idea. I will be open with my psychiatrist

I know how discouraging it can feel when God doesn't seem to answer- I am having similar feelings but I have to remind myself that He IS working at all times and I know that He will never forsake you. I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, I hope you find new strength, don't give up!

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to asthedeer

Thanks Asthedeer it’s so hard to believe right now that I can get stronger since it feels like I’m on my own and messing up and little light for the future... trying to stay in the present but what do you do when the present is painful and it just doesn’t seem to stop? I have decided to focus on Meditating with my kids so that’s a positive I can do and feel good about but even that seems stressful I’m just so done. Something has to change.

asthedeer
asthedeer in reply to Starrlight

Just remember that things can and will change- this struggle is not forever, we will always have ups and downs but those downs are not perminant. I know you feel stuck, I wish I could do more than pray... hold on to all that is good- I hope that you find peace in the middle of the storm.

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to asthedeer

I’m scared feeling for some reason I don’t know what if maybe the unknown or not believing I can get through... but I always have so I deserve to not be afraid you know!? Thank you so much. I need some peace. This storm won’t last; you are right... 🙏 😊 thanks... but what if it all changes for the worst... it’s hard to not wonder

asthedeer
asthedeer in reply to Starrlight

The uncertainty can be difficult to deal with, OCD comes with a lot of fear and doubt. Remember that God is true, He is faithful and will carry you through this. I understand all the worry.

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to asthedeer

In 2015 I prayed five times a day or more and believed fully and loved endlessly but I was manic at the time and now depressed and anxious these days I just feel so disconnected and unsure and even doomed. I will keep telling myself God is with me throughout this... thank you... for understanding and for helping me to think about God today.

asthedeer
asthedeer in reply to Starrlight

I hope your faith is again stengthened and that you draw closer to the Lord through all of this. I'll be there for you the best I can as a sister in Christ.

I have OCD for the past 20-21 years and it is not ready to leave me alone now also. A lot of changes happened to me this year. My problem get worsen and didn't respond to medications. My therapist and me worked hard but didn't get much result. One day he suggested me to meditate with an app (I don't like to name that here). After a month I got some relief and also I find another meditation app better than the previous one. It change the game to my favour. Now though I don't overcome from OCD yet, I have the confidence to overcome it in the future. Mindfulness meditation is really helpful alongside a therapist. If you do that for a couple of months with at least one hour a day you will feel better.

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