Irrational thought .: I know this is... - My OCD Community

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Irrational thought .

Dempsey1919 profile image
30 Replies

I know this is completely irrational just like most ocd. I worry about blasphemy, I'm not a deeply religious person kike going to church ect,but I like to call myself a Christian. But I do worry if I have a intrusive thought like a flash saying there's no god I worry god is going to put more minds in my head which I know we all have only one mind,its more like patterns and my anxiety has a fear that thier minds even though I know they are just thoughts. Your thoughts can't see your mind your mind sees your thought. I worry that I'm going to jump on to another mind,pattern in my head if I have a negative flash about God and I worry then if that happens when I say I'm not a sick monster ect it will lose its power and ile turn into a sicko. I worry god will turn me bad,and turn me into a twisted person with twisted fantasies and I won't be able to control myself. It's silly I know, god is good,god won't turn anyone into a sick person but the fear still frightens me. I feel so weird writing this. I have pure o and ruminate to the point of madness. I've explained this to psychiatrist and there's a 18 month waiting list,it's terrible that I have to deal with this fear. I'm a good person,I don't even have a criminal record although turn into someone sick. I guess if anyone can understand this group can.

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Dempsey1919
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30 Replies
PaperTigers profile image
PaperTigers

I'm sorry you're struggling with so much fear… God is a God of peace and order and he can help you deal with the chaos in your head. I'm not saying the intrusive thoughts will stop, but you will find yourself in a state where they don't consume you. It isn't ever "easy" to deal with compulsions/rumination but you can have peace.

Isaiah 26:3-4(ESV)

"You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you"

If you ever decide to read the Bible, the ESV and NASB are great translations and I would just start with the book of John...

If you have unanswered prayers and confusion I can promise it's something we all experience and it is NOT that God has left you or doesn't love you. It's just that everything in life is a process and sometimes our timing is not His timing. He hears every prayer and He loves you more than any other being ever could.

God bless.

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to PaperTigers

Thank you, I know your not supposed to ask reassurance but I already knew God is the good one,he won't make me have sick thoughts or fantasies ,it's my ocd with irrational thinking.thank you.

10-12-1953 profile image
10-12-1953

Try NOCD online therapy.

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to 10-12-1953

Can't afford that I guess only the rich get help.

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

It’s okay. I understand what you are going through. God loves you unconditionally and knows you have ocd. Why do you have to wait 18 months to see a therapist?

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

Because not enough money or staff in Britain.

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

I don’t know what to say. Here in Australia we have many psychologists that specialise in ocd. Surely there must be another way. Can your doctor help you in some way to see a therapist much sooner?

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

It's my doctor who told me it could take 18 months they still don't take mental health as serious as physical health here in Britain. It's still taboo.

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

I’m truly flabbergasted!! Can you try and find one yourself?

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

Yes but it costs alot of money which I ain't got.

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64 in reply to Dempsey1919

I would go see another doctor. 18 months doesn’t sound right to me.

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

Just managed to have the mental health team to ring me tomorrow, so with a bit of luck it will be quicker. I still push myself to gym,meditate everyday but I'm not doing erp alone

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

Okay that’s good that they are ringing you tomorrow. Are you taking any medication?

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

Yes mirtazipine, pregablin and proponolol

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

Okay good luck tomorrow with the mental health team 🙏

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

Thank you,hope your well too.

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

Hello. How did things go today?

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to Mcfly64

Hi thank you for checking up. Cancelled due to brievement they cancelled not me can't do nothing about that he's having it bad so got someone else on 15th

Mcfly64 profile image
Mcfly64

Okay well that’s not too far away.

THL1 profile image
THL1

I live in the UK and there can be long waits to see therapists on the NHS (especially ones who specialise in OCD and use ERP). I think there is a particular lack of understanding and awareness of ‘pure O’ in the UK.

What you’re describing sounds to me like ‘pure O’. The best approach is a subtle version of ERP where you learn to acknowledge the thoughts but don’t engage them further. Very difficult. Eg this is not the same as ‘ignoring’ the thoughts as the act of ignoring is an active response whereas what’s required is a neutral/passive relationship with the thoughts. Seeking reassurance in God and the bible is a response that in my opinion will perpetuate the thoughts. Response prevention ie not engaging in the mental compulsion/thought is what works with ‘pure O’/mental compulsions as with physical compulsions.

Lots to explore in terms of what might help-Michael Greenberg, Kimberley Quinlan, Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts, Winston and Seif, OCD Coach-Robertjamescoaching.com etc,etc

Good luck

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to THL1

Yes i know I have pure O, my rituals are mental more than physical. I ruminate like crazy.

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to THL1

A they two separate books,I'm going to see if they on audible as reading takes a while I keep on going over same lines to satisfy compulsions its a nightmare.

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to THL1

Hi just a question if I'm doing mindfulness meditation and a get a intrusive though,I call them flashes whether they compulsive flashes to make certain number or its jus came from no where I call intrusive thoughts flashes and then go back to the breath.is that just another compulsion calling them intrusive flash ,I do all different yes of mindfulness. Should I not day intrusive flash and not respond the intrusive flashes and thoughts and just focus back on the breath ect.

THL1 profile image
THL1 in reply to Dempsey1919

Tricky question. My view is that by calling them flashes, in a sense you’re dividing thoughts into ‘flashes’ thoughts and ‘non-flashes’ thoughts. Therefore you’re putting these thoughts into a ‘special’ category which by definition draws more attention to them. Also your awareness can become primed and alert looking out for these ‘special’ thoughts, again this gives them Oxygen.

What we’re trying to do is to give all thoughts equal billing in a sense. I keep coming back to the need for awareness to approach the thoughts from a neutral or passive stance, and from this stance it is less easy to get entangled in the thoughts.

An approach that acknowledges the thought without actively trying ti get rid of it is what we’re after. When a thought becomes like a pinball in a pinball machine, bouncing around, to-ing and fro-ing in awareness, that thought is made to feel important and will stay longer than it should and will come back.

We have then in essence made that thought overly important to our awareness and as it hangs around it will potentially create physiological reactions eg fear and we can get tricked into ‘making sense’ of or avoiding the thought to try to ease the fear but it only makes it worse

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to THL1

Wow, you certainly know your stuff. Is it because your qualified or know as you been a patient fir so long. Either way I think your spot on thanks. Your right,if I call them flashes I'm engaging with them and will end up looking for them. Mindfulness is not about looking for thoughts but noticing them,then go back to what you were focusing on.

THL1 profile image
THL1 in reply to Dempsey1919

Thanks! No, I’m not qualified, my comments are based on my journey of discovering I have ‘pure O’ and exploring what it is and what I can do to ease the suffering associated with it.

I’m 62 and a medical doctor but only realised 18 months ago I had pure OCD and my life has been turned around by recognising and exploring this condition and applying the principles I’ve learned. Basically it’s ERP that works. The thoughts arise spontaneously but the trick is to prevent the unhelpful response

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to THL1

Thank you very much for your advice.

THL1 profile image
THL1 in reply to Dempsey1919

you’re welcome

THL1 profile image
THL1

robertjamescoaching.com/

Dempsey1919 profile image
Dempsey1919 in reply to THL1

Thank you just listened to rumination podcast,that's so me it's exhausting lol. I ain't laughing because it's funny I'm laughing because I know it's bizarre doing rituals in my head yet I still do them. Been doing it since 15, 16 I'm 41 now

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