Journaling

[MindFull_]

In my attempt to overcome OCD I have been trying multiple things:

-ERP

-Eternalising OCD

-Positive self talk

and most recently journaling.

I fear that I am not journaling correctly and am in fact acting out my compulsion through journaling,' as since I have started I have again started to see my anxiety rise.

My typicial journal entry is broken into 3 parts:

1) what was my worry or trigger to cause the anxiety.

2) what score would I give my anxiety from 1-5; 1 being low anxiety to 5 high anxiety.

3) What I know. Here I call out the facts of the event.

I fear that part 3 is my mental compulsion for reassurance taking its form through writing.

Do any of you journal your ocd? If so can you provide tips on how I should structure my journal?

[deValentin]

One question first if you don't mind. By eternalizing OCD, are you referring to the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence, that is, in order to decide whether you really value a certain way to conduct yourself, you ask yourself whether you're willing to sustain it for as long as you live (aside from changes due to learning from experience).

I kept some kind of journaling for a long time. I recorded the obsessions that disturbed me at the time and the thoughts that helped put them aside and return to normal living. It felt good in the moment because I thought I was doing something to help me improve my life (hot cognition). However, if I read my notes again after few days, they felt useless (cold cognition). The thoughts that seemed effective at one point had lost their effect. So, I gave it up because I felt, like you, that journaling was becoming another obsession (for some people, it's making lists). It was taking time away from more fulfilling activities.

Now I rely mainly on action. If I think a thought is disturbing me excessively, I give up dwelling on it, and move to something else, in spite of the initial difficulties. If I think a deliberation is taking too long, I stop it and make up my mind one way or the other, or postpone it for a more appropriate time.

I feel like someone who tries to recover from substance abuse. Each passing day drug-free or OCD-free gives me enough motivation for the following day. Journaling may have a place in one's journey to recovery, on condition that it doesn't take the place of action. That's at least my opinion.

[MindFull_ in reply to deValentin]

Hi deValentin, by externalising OCD what I meant is to personify OCD, give it a name. A CBT practice to separate yourself from the OCD and see things more objectively and make one realise they are not their thoughts.

[deValentin in reply to MindFull_]

Thank you for the clarification. It must have been a typo. It's indeed a good practice in some situations to distance yourself from your thoughts.

[MindFull_ in reply to deValentin]

Oh yes, just seen my mistake. Sorry for the confusion.

[RUtalkingtome]

i journal everyday; it helps to some degree to quiet much of the OCD noise in my head.

[MindFull_ in reply to RUtalkingtome]

RUtalkingtome I agree and thats why I wanted to try it for myself. I just don’t think I am doing it right.

[mind-full in reply to MindFull_]

Firstly, that’s a top notch profile name.

*applauds*

Regardless your OCD “theme”, I imagine part 3 of the journaling is (indeed) a wonderful opportunity to ruminate and reassure. Remember: compulsions reward us with relief. While you search for facts, acknowledge also the absence of tangible consequence. Did I hit someone with my car? Contaminate my food? Kick a stranger’s dog? We spend so much time worrying, but absolutely no time being confronted by real life consequences. Police. Doctors. Outraged strangers. None. Never.

Instead of engaging worry in some form of opposition, you may find befriending and exploring them of equal (or greater) interest. Therapists call it “writing scripts.” Write about your intrusive fears coming true. Play them out, and realize how unrealistic they are. Is it reassurance seeking? Yes. Probably. Is it wrong? No. Not if you learn something.

Alternatively, you can stop rumination and reassurance seeking by simply saying: stop. I will not feel the weight of guilt, shame, or anxiety until I’m faced with real consequences. I will not “worry” until I see good reason to. We (truly ) suffer more in imagination than in reality.

To overcome something, one must first understand it. If journaling is a mistake, or if it’s being done incorrectly, you’ll inevitably reach that conclusion someday. Until then, stay inspired. Study yourself. Your thoughts. Your behaviour. Learn from every step back, and every step forward.

You’re on the right track.

[Lauragbr in reply to RUtalkingtome]

I journal every day, many times more than once. It helps me to understand the false narratives and feelings that OCD puts out to me,

[Sallyskins]

To be honest, I don't think going over OCD moments or episodes, either in writing or in thought, is helpful. The best thing is to let it go - the more you mull over it, the less you're likely move on from it.

By all means keep a journal - but fill it with other stuff that interests you - activities, family, friends, gossip. It can help to process what happened during the day and can also be fun. Some diaries of famous people have actually been published - they can be a valuable resource for historians and enormously interesting.

But leave analysing the OCD out of it, as far as possible!

[RUtalkingtome in reply to Sallyskins]

Journaling has helped me, it helps dim the episodes to a negligible degree. And it's something my therapist wants me to do. It has helped me see the patterns and weed out what is real vs my imagination spiraling out of control. It's not perfect as some things slip through, like my recent episode fearing I said something inappropriate, but it helps. And my journaling isn't all about the OCD, it's about other things going on in my life. We OCDers, like everyone else, are multidimensional; we work to pay our bills, pay are taxes and take care of our families. I journal about 2-3 times a week and in emergencies. I think journaling helps me face my OCD fears and it's better than bothering my wife with whatever is irking me at the moment.