Health OCD and Anxiety New to the forum

[ArchMan]

I’ve been struggling to find any sort of support group around me so I figured to take to the internet to see how this goes. I’ve struggled with health anxiety and OCD for a few decades since basically as early as I can remember. Growing up my anxiety presented itself in social situations. I had a hard time going to familiar places sometimes to the point where I would literally get sick to my stomach before going or freaking out and not being able to go all together. I kind of grew out of it as a teenager and didn’t really have many bouts with anxiety until I was in my early 20s. Around then it started to comeback but this time my anxiety attached itself to health related situations. Over the next decade it would grow worse until in my early 30s when I finally went into treatment to look into what was going on. For the first few years doctors and therapist just treated me for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and things got better for awhile. However a few years into therapy I moved and needed to change therapists, my new therapist was the first one to notice the health pattern and my obsessive compulsive thoughts. When he first mentioned the idea that he thought I was dealing with OCD I thought he was a bit crazy. Up until then I didn’t know much about OCD, I just always thought it was people who needed to turn on/off a light switch or have things placed in specific places or obsessive rituals. I didn’t know that OCD is a spectrum and that my Health Anxiety perfectly fit the definition. Since then I’ve been working on combating it with therapy, diet, and an increase in exercise. However I still go through episodes.

Most recently my anxiety has been triggered by a series of health events, some make perfect sense as to why I feel the way I do but there’s been other times where I feel like I’m going crazy. About 2 months ago I suffered a flare up to a back injury which scared me into thinking I would need back surgery, I love worrying to the most extreme case. When I finally was able to calm down after seeing/getting reassurance from ortho back Dr and started PT, I suffered a shoulder injury, which again restarted the cycle of I need surgery and I didn’t something really wrong. Again after seeing a shoulder Dr and getting more PT I began to feel slightly better. However my anxiety never completely went away and now I’ve found myself worrying about things that don’t have a “oh well I hurt myself” origin story. In the last week I’ve worried that I did something to my eye because I touched it, best part well most illogical part I wear contacts daily so I touch my eye all the time. But because this was while half asleep I was worried. After a day or two I again calmed down but again the anxiety stuck around. A few days later I need to spray for a wasp nest in my backyard fence, I sprayed the hive and while doing it some of the spray hit the fence and came back in my direction, even though I never felt it touch me I swear since then my right eye has felt off. I have no swelling, redness, itching or anting yet my mind just won’t let it go.

I know this is a bit long and doesn’t seem to have a purpose, sorry I ramble a bit as you can tell, I wanted to put my most recent episode on here. No sure why I decided to post this, maybe someone is going through something else and feels alone ane some reassurance theyre not alone or crazy or someone can reassure me! I’ve already read some posts that have helped me realize others suffer from OCD and anxiety just like I do.

My therapist has me working on not googling symptoms and only reaching out to doctors if there’s a real medical need for actual symptoms. I guess my question to anyone who’s stuck around this far, what helps you with health OCD? How do you keep from going down the rabbit hole?

[RHCPfan]

I go down the rabbit hole all the time but usually I have to come out of it to help my husband take care of my kids and go to work. I also will sometimes try to redirect my attention to hobbies or a TV program. I think staying busy is helpful. I’m really afraid of fatal diseases so I had to come to terms with death.

[MothFir]

You wrote "...yet my mind just won’t let it go." That's pretty much the hallmark of all OCD and one thing that has helped me considerably is learning how to not ruminate on things (i.e., to let them go). If you have OCD you can't help having thoughts about "What if my eye is damaged?", even though you know they have no basis. However you can choose whether you engage with the thoughts by trying to figure them out, Googling symptoms, and going in circles about what happened and what's going to happen next. Those things just feed the OCD by telling your anxious brain that the thoughts are important. If you can stop engaging with the thoughts when they pop up, you will find that they get weaker and feel less threatening.

This therapist's articles really helped me realize the importance of not ruminating and ways to stop: drmichaeljgreenberg.com/

Health anxiety is tough. My OCD has had many topics over the years but I went through a period where I was very anxious about lots of health-related things. Part of this was caused by reaching my 40s and having more aches and pains and symptoms that I'd never noticed before. Fortunately I had a good primary care doctor who understood my OCD and could help me sort out what was worth evaluating and what was likely to be my overanxious brain. At some point (after a lot of "scares" that turned out to be nothing) I stopped Googling everything and jumping to the worst possible conclusions.

I think it's critical to develop good insight and always remember that you have OCD. When you get that rush of anxiety and you feel like some new symptom means that you are going blind, or that you need invasive surgery, or that you're going to die next week, take a moment to remember that one condition that you know you have is OCD, and it causes you to feel exactly what you're feeling. Ask yourself if a non-OCD person would be getting as freaked out as you are about the symptom, and if necessary ask a trusted friend or family member if they think there is something that needs to be checked out. If so, talk to a trusted doctor who knows you suffer from anxiety; a good doctor should take your concerns seriously but also be aware that you may be more sensitive to symptoms than the average person.

Finally, a small thing that has helped me is keeping one of those "family medical books" on hand, and using it instead of the internet to look up symptoms. The one I have was given to us by our insurance company and compared to many websites it seems less alarmist and it provides straightforward decision guides about symptoms. Its rabbit hole isn't nearly as deep!

[ArchMan in reply to MothFir]

Thank you so much I really liked the website you recommended a lot of helpful articles. It’s reassuring knowing others out there struggle with health OCD.

[Rougefleur]

Hello, Archman, I can totally relate to your situation. I too have had both GAD and OCD since childhood much of it related to health issues. I can remember as a child thinking I had developed tetanus every time I got a cut or scratch. As I got older, I began to wash my hands more and more often until they developed small slits in the skin that would bleed. Later on. I was convinced thst my migraine headaches were the result of a brain tumor. It goes on and on. I started cognitive behavioral therapy in my late 20's and have continued with it until this day. Both thetapists I have worked with have given me techniques to try to turn off the obsessive thoughts that are a hallmark of this disorder. And we have discussed my compulsive behaviors and tried to find ways to curtail them. But the work goes on I don't think thst you are ever really "cured" of OCD, you just have to accept that some of the strange stuff that you end up doing to relieve your mi d of the fear it produces is part of the package of having it, and above all, not judge yourself. Alot of people have this condition and there is no fault to be assigned. It is not fully known what causes it and you are not responsible for lthe thoughts that arise because of it. All you can do is to continue to work your treatment program and not be afraid to discuss your concerns with fellow sufferers, as in a blog site like this one. I have also shared my diagnoses with my primary care physician , who has been very helpful when I overreact to any health conditions that I may have. She has also prescribed anti-anxiety medication when I need it.

[ArchMan in reply to Rougefleur]

Thanks for the insight! I have a great primary Dr and therapist. Recently got referred to a psychologist to possibly look into medication to help with the OCD. I’m extremely nervous amount medications, a few years back I was put on lexipro and had terrible side effects and scared me from trying again. Hopefully the psychologist can dial in something specific to help.

[Rougefleur]

Oh boy, I am the worst at trusting medications prescribed to me. It is an integral part of my OCD. But if I find a doctor I trust, and who seems to understand my mental health conditions, I can find a way to trust them to guide my choices. Often I have to ask question after question of them before I accept their prescribing something for me. Then I STILL worry for awhile when I do take it. But are simply times when dealing with anxiety disorders, especially with OCD, when you simply need some help in getting through. I hope that you and your psychiatrist are able to find something that works well for you. Learning to live fairly normally with this condition is certainly a process in which you really need trusted advisors. Sending good thoughts.