Spouse with ocd

[pupupupu123]

Hi, I'm a newcomer here, and it's my first time writing a post about my OCD spouse.

We are a couple from China, and now we live in different cities because of covid. My husband showed quite different behaviors than any other person. . every day, I have to swear several times that I won't kill him or hurt him. Sometimes he asked me to explain my nightmare to him, only to prove that I am a mild kind person and he won't be killed.

He did have evidence of "OMG, my wife may kill me." That was because I hurt myself several times.

His OCD symptoms have lasted for over four years, and occasionally I had to answer ridiculous questions hundreds of times, such as "you are a virgin, right? You didn't lie to me, you swear? " "You won't hurt me, and you won't stab me, can you promise?" These questions were too much of a burden; every time he got anxious, I would have to answer these questions for hours, sometimes 3-4days. And during that time, I knew I should treat him well and not be mad at him, so I tried hard to keep it in my mind. But these emotions triggered my depression, and I hurt myself several times. While he saw me hurting myself, he told the story to every family member and confirmed himself that I am a weirdo and I may kill people someday.

Here I want to seek help. Does anybody have the same issue as me? Or can any OCD pal explain why my husband treated me like that? Am I the most significant anxiety in our marriage?

[Hidden]

OCD can show itself in many different ways. I used to be very jealous of my wife, but the problem was in my own mind, not with her. Suspicion of another can go along with it. If he hasn't begun seeing a counsellor I recommend looking online at IOCDF.ORG for guidiance in finding someone who specializes in OCD. Maybe even find someone who is familiar with OCD as related to Chinese culture. He could work his way out of it himself by educating himself as I did (I had therapy but not the right kind) but he will be able to find relief much sooner with help. As for his thoughts about you, I know it must be hard for you to understand, but try to remember he has little control over his anxieties at this time.

[pupupupu123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks a lot! I tried the website you mentioned and contacted an organization in China. Hopefully we could get some help there. By the way, i kind of feel my husband might be ocpd, cause he wasn't very anxious about the problems between us, and i seemed to be influenced more by all his questions. I might have to find more support for myself and thanks so much for your kind reply!

[Hidden in reply to pupupupu123]

You can also search the website of Justin Hughes (justinkhughes.com/). He is a specialist in OCD in the Dallas Texas area and has a lot of articles that will be of help to you and your husband. One is titles "Supporting your loved one with OCD" you may find most helpful. Good luck to you and your husband.

[pupupupu123 in reply to Hidden]

Is it possible for people to have paranioa when having ocd? Also, i feel depressed to see that i might be the only person he distrust, this is so frustrating in an intimate relationship and i can help to blame myself...

[Hidden in reply to pupupupu123]

My unprofessional opinion is yes. However, if it's sever it may indicate a co-existing condition. DO NOT blame yourself. If you have not given him any reason to feel the way he does then the problem is his.

Were you able to find the article I mentioned? That will be a good start. He also has a lot of other resources that will be helpful too.