My child has OCD

[Mama-bear]

Hello. I landed here because I’m searching for answers as to how to help my children who both are showing signs of OCD and high anxiety. Their father (my ex husband) has ocd and is in medication for it. I only found out about the depth and complexity of his OCD when we were in marriage counseling at the end of the marriage. I was so unaware of his struggles and doing things in a certain order or in 6’s or other numbers. I just thought he was anxious. Anyway, the marriage ended and we have lived apart due the last 8 years.

A couple years ago i saw my young son (then 7, now 9) touching the wall in a series before bed. So talked about it and found he feels he needs to things on a series of certain numbers (for him 3) or something bad is going to happen. We saw a therapist and things got better and life got in the way and we stopped (and truthfully we didn’t feel a connection her). Usually it’s ok. But night it got bad. He was in tears because he couldn’t stop these patterns and he was looking to me for help. So my question is - how do i help him short term when then he has nights like these? When the ocd takes over. His direct question to me was “do i try to ignore the urges to do the things the ocd is telling me to do (blink three times, tap my left arm, then my right) and feel miserable, or do i give in and do the things that makes me feel better but have it control my night). I know we need to go back to therapy but what can i to help him at times like this.

Thanks. I hate not knowing what to do to help

[LalaTS]

Hi, I have been diagnosed with OCD as well and went through counseling services and a treatment center. I found out that what's best for the person that is going through OCD is to fight it and don't do the compulsive behavior. Although it's a terrible feeling to go through it's best not to do the compulsion. To help with not doing the compulsion, try distracting methods. Personally after going through the treatment process and counseling (mostly being told repeatedly not to do the compulsion) has helped me function better in life. (The process did take awhile, so I didn't get better right away).

[Mama-bear in reply to LalaTS]

Thank you ! This is just the answer he was looking for. Much appreciated

[Tikirob]

Hi. I want to first say you are such a great person for standing by your husband with OCD. It’s not easy to understand or contend with. I am sorry to hear it was passed on to your children but the good news is that children diagnosed with OCD or OCPD have a better chance of healing and understanding their own disorder before it robs them of the time OCD loves to take up.

I have told another poster this and I am not a therapist but in my years of self research I have read that the symptoms your one child exhibits with “order” of touching and numbers can be also associated with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I have a friend who can’t mix food. If he orders a burger, milkshake, fries, he has to eat the burger completely, then all the fries, then the shake. He does not have OCD though. I myself don’t do anything in order but make a sign of a cross at every church, could not write the disease that rhymes with answer and starts with a C, Cancer, see I wrote it and my anxiety is spiking and my brain is telling me to knock on something 3 times....deep breaths deep breaths, I will not give into my OCD!

So my advice is to get a therapist who specializes in OCD and not a broad based psychiatrist or psychologist. An OCD center if you can afford it is best. I would research everything on the net. They are still testing for proper treatments, marijuana, ketamine, it’s crazy! My best results come when I am nutritionally sound so I recomend consulting a naturopath in addition to an allopathic doctor. OCD is a hot market for psychology right now and many claim to treat it but in reality the drugs can work but are are a crap shoot and have side effects. The only proven safe and effective treatment thin is CBT and ERP. Before medicating your children please research the efficacy of this SSRIs. Hope this helps.

[Mama-bear in reply to Tikirob]

Thank you. I am researching therapists in my area but we all know pediatric mental health providers are few and far between. I will look into naturopath and allopathic providers as well. And while i have seen the benefits of medication with my ex husband (we didn’t quite make it for other reasons), i do not want to medicate my child. So looking more for cognitive therapy. I will look into OCD centers and if there any in my area. Your feedback is much appreciated!! Thank you

[Tikirob in reply to Mama-bear]

Sounds like a gameplan! I wish you all the best. Please let us know how it goes.

[Hidden]

Hi there,

IOCDF has some really great resources for parents on our OCD in Kids site: kids.iocdf.org/for-parents/

These articles and videos have some more specific tips on how to best help your child, even in the short-term.

Consistent treatment is key to ensure your child's symptoms can be effectively managed. A professional will be able to provide some additional exercises you can utilize to help your child when their OCD begins to flare up. You can search for pediatric-specific professionals, clinics, and support groups on our OCD in Kids site: kids.iocdf.org/