I’d like some advice

[MissBowLady]

TW: contamination OCD, incest OCD

So it’s been a long time since I’ve been on here. I went to inpatient, and then went to outpatient, and now I’ve been with my current therapist for many months now.

I have the tendency to avoid things that make jokes I think are inappropriate, and I also worry about contamination and if I’m doing something inappropriate or not. My therapist has slowly been helping me with not avoiding and not to wipe the toilet seat too much.

Recently however I asked a question and he said I should do an exposure in response. My ocd is centered around incest and the intense worry that me doing something somehow is inappropriate in both action and contamination of dna on toilet seats and the floor.

So there was this show and one character said they had to kiss their dad on the lips. It triggered something that had been on my mind for awhile but it finally came to surface. It brought up the question of “what if I want to kiss my mom on the lips even if I’m an adult? Did I do something bad for even asking that?”

My OCD therapist said it would be a good exposure to kiss my mom on the lips. He didn’t answer my questions and it frustrated me. My CBT therapist said that kissing depends on the culture and environment a person is in, she basically told me what I asked wasn’t bad and that kissing on the lips wasn’t just solely for romance. I felt better and just kinda forgot the whole thing.

I have an appointment with my OCD therapist again this week. It’s been a month since I’ve seen them. I think my brain responded to worrying about my appointment this week by bringing up what my OCD therapist said. Now I’m worried about what if he recommended something he shouldn’t have, if I should disregard everything else he has said in my time in treatment, is he reliable, etc.

Now my friend said since he said it as a recommendation and not as “I should do this exposure” that my therapist hasn’t done anything wrong. My mom says so too. And I know I can’t ask for reassurance but I guess that’s what I’m asking??? I guess what I’m asking is if you all think it’s safe for me to stay with my current OCD therapist. You can just say yes or no. And if you do want to give me a longer explanation then okay but just be sure it isn’t too reassuring.

[MothFir]

I think you're safe to stay with your OCD therapist, partly for the reasons your CBT therapist gave. I believe many of us question the wisdom of our OCD therapists because they can be so maddeningly unconcerned about the things that scare us out of our minds. I also think your OCD is just trying to counteract the progress you've made by making you question your OCD therapist.

Glad you are doing okay these days!