Need ERP advice

[trailwalker53]

Hi....I'm 56 years old and have suffered with OCD my whole life. I read a lot of books and listen to multiple podcasts which really help me to practice ERP, although not with an actual therapist. Some days I do ok, others, not so much. I have multiple OCD themes, one of which is contamination, which leads me to avoid many things like public restrooms and especially hotels. I now have an opportunity to visit my mom in another state which means I would have to stay in a hotel. The last time I did, I had panic attacks the whole trip because I was afraid I touched something and exposed myself to some disease or bacteria. I'm looking for ERP ideas from anyone who can relate to my problem so maybe I can start "practicing" now. I have 2 weeks before I leave. I don't want to miss out on seeing her and I don't want to dread this trip! Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks so much in advance

[Sallyskins]

I think it's good to practice anyway with the ERP so you reach a place where you can manage with public and hotel lavatories and facilities.

Don't get too stressed about it - putting pressure on yourself to get better before you go to your mom's will only make you worse. So take it as easy as possible, push yourself not to the maximum, but just a little, enough to make a difference.

Remember, too, that most hotels are clean and hygienic. I should go for a reputable brand if possible, and if there is a rating system for cleanliness, check that out as well.

A lot of us are a bit 'iffy' about using public lavatories and facilities - it's just that with OCD it becomes a real problem.

I don't know the sort of habits you usually have with cleanliness - but try to cut down some of the unnecessary ones a little. So if you wash your hands immediately on coming back from shopping or using public transport, don't - sit down for ten or fifteen minutes before doing so. Get accustomed to feeling a little bit 'dirty' - and then go and wash your hands, knowing it's a sensible thing to do.

Little things like this - not stressing yourself too much, but just pushing yourself a little - this should mean you are able to make some progress without overdoing it.

It's always a good incentive to focus on the positives - such as the pleasure and enjoyment you will have from being with your mom!

[trailwalker53 in reply to Sallyskins]

Thank you Sallyskins....I really like the idea of getting accustomed to feeling a little bit dirty. I work in a library, with 'dirty' books so I wash my hands quite often at work. You gave me a great idea that I hadn't thought of....I will cut down on the times I wash and try to sit with that feeling ....Thank you!

[MothFir]

You said you "had panic attacks the whole trip because I was afraid I touched something and exposed myself to some disease or bacteria."

Learning how to cut down on ruminating has helped me a great deal when I get an especially strong trigger. I am still not able to cut out all rumination, but once I settle down after a trigger I have gotten pretty good at not starting up again. The "what if" thoughts still show up but I am largely able to not engage with them. The result is that I may have a few hours where I'm distracted to one degree or another, but not days of on-and-off mental agony. Getting rumination under control has been one of the most important skills in my recovery.

[trailwalker53 in reply to MothFir]

Thank you Mothfir......that's interesting that you mentioned this. I've recently heard of a Dr. Michael Greenberg who is all about learning how to stop ruminating as a first step in ERP! I really enjoy listening to him, he makes A LOT of sense. I have actually been able to incorporate his techniques with some of my other themes and it has been very helpful. I guess in my heirarchy, germs and contamination are pretty high on top so its taking me a little longer. I know what I have to do, but its pretty hard. "Mental agony" is a good description. Thanks for responding.

[MothFir in reply to trailwalker53]

Dr. Greenberg's appearance on The OCD Stories really helped me and got me realizing how much of a problem rumination is. He's one of my favorites.

Have a good trip!

[helloworld22]

Do you have a grocery store you go to and are comfortable with? Maybe you could go by every day and start simply going into and exiting the bathroom?Coffee shops are often clean and well kept, you could try testing yourself on their facilities. I’m talking about clean l places because their cleanliness might make it easier to start.

[helloworld22]

Is your Mom aware of your OCD and supportive? If she’s not aware, do you think she would be supportive? While you are visiting her, if you can be at least somewhat open with struggles you are having, it would help reduce your anxiety overall.

[trailwalker53 in reply to helloworld22]

Those are good ideas......thanks! Yes my mom is very well aware! We live in different states and are meeting half way. She is very supportive but to the point of "accommodating" which I know is wrong for OCD, but sometimes when things are REALLY bad its the only thing that helps😒 I'm going to try my best to prepare for this trip with some of these ERP suggestions. Thanks again!

[helloworld22 in reply to trailwalker53]

Good luck. 🙂