Need some advice

[MrsMapdog]

May I please ask a question that has been on my heart for awhile? My intention is not to offend anybody. I have never felt like a strong minded person and with ocd I feel even more weaker minded.

My husband, on the other hand, is very strong minded and independent. He is very smart too. He can pretty much take anything apart and put it back together.

I think to myself if he had OCD he would probably handle it better than I am. He wouldn't be having such a struggle like I do.

I dont know, I just think if I was as smart as my husband or stronger minded as he is I wouldn't struggle so much with this illness. Plus he never worries about anything. While on the other hand I fret for just about everything. So I feel like the ocd is harder to manage because of my personality.

So what I'm basically asking is, If I was as smart and stronger minded as my husband would I be managing my ocd better than I am?

Ugh! I feel so weak!

[LuvSun]

I don’t think just because you say your husband is strong minded, etc that he would be better able to handle OCD better than you. OCD is tough to handle no matter what personality you have. Everyone has to learn how best to handle their own conditions in a way that works for them. You can find that way. You will find your own inner strength I believe.

[MrsMapdog in reply to LuvSun]

Thank you luv sun. I appreciate you responding to my post.

[MothFir]

I can only say that I've been 'strong-minded and independent' about some things, only to have that all change because of OCD. I've dealt with checking and ruminating for most of my adult life, but I've been a typical male slob when it comes to contamination - eating after handling the dog, eating food that's fallen on the floor, not worrying about expiration dates on food, etc.

Now for whatever reason I'm having contamination fears and I'm nervous about germs and diseases (I did go through a hand-washing period when I was about 10, but got over it, and that was over 30 years ago.) So my personality hasn't changed, but my OCD has changed my behavior. I suspect that a person like your husband might be more affected by OCD than you think. Everyone responds to fear, and OCD creates fear. The fact that it is not based in reality is a different issue.

That said, I do think that someone with a 'weaker' personality (not saying that's you) might be more reluctant to undergo behavior therapies (Exposure/Response Prevention, etc) that require a tolerance for discomfort than a person with a 'stronger' or more proactive personality. The challenge is just to decide you've had enough of your illness running your life and taking the sometimes-frightening steps to change your behavior. This is advice I need to get better at taking myself! Good luck.

[MrsMapdog in reply to MothFir]

Thank you Mothfir for your input I appreciate you responding.

[Tinkering]

I consider myself smart and strong minded but I have OCD and it is another beast. Remember, part of it is biological. It takes strength to live with it. Don’t be hard on yourself. God bless!

[MrsMapdog]

Thanks for responding tinkering.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas!

[Selesnya]

I think that you can ignore this question. Is it really helpful to dig into this topic? Is there any way that this is going change how you deal with OCD or life in general?

I think that a better question is what do you want to be doing that OCD is stopping? Spend your energy on that and work on doing what you want to do, even if OCD tells you not to. Your challenges and struggles really are your own and it doesn't matter how others might deal with a similar situation. What works for you? What motivates you?

[MrsMapdog in reply to Selesnya]

It was just a thought in passing. I just wanted to hear other people's opinions.

Certainly, this network is here to find support for our struggles, ask questions about various topics and just lean on one another.

[Selesnya in reply to MrsMapdog]

It may be a thought in passing, but it is a thought that isn't helpful and doesn't need to be paid attention to. As long as you give in to the OCD-inspired thoughts instead of doing what you want to do, the stronger OCD gets. OCD's concerns are largely irrelevant to our life and interests. It is only by assigning them importance and getting duped into the content by debating the issue that OCD grows.

If you want to hear a really good explanation of this, I would suggest listening to The OCD Stories interview with Shannon Shy:

theocdstories.com/podcast/s...

Getting to the point of viewing OCD's interests as irrelevant and viewing your own priorities as worth while is truly liberating, but it takes a lot of practice to really believe. This is where the ERP practice really comes in handy.