Living in Fear

[Bean13]

I’ve posted on here for the first time a few weeks ago about my fear of lead poisoning in regards to my infant son. Well, tonight I am having major anxiety about it again.. Just a little background on what caused my panic tonight: we used to live in an old building that was renovated into an apartment. Everything was painted over, but the tops of the windows slid down and never stayed closed. The apartment always stayed dusty, and being an old building and surrounded by old buildings and dust, I feel positive some it was lead contaminated. I say all this because I have pieces of furniture, like my couches, that were in that apartment. Also, a mobile kitchen stand thing that was in that apartment that always got super dusty. Honestly, it’s still pretty dusty on the wheels and I never wiped it off. It is giving me MAJOR anxiety right now, and I want to get rid of it. I’m terrified there’s lead dust all over my apartment. Even my couches make me a little nervous, and of course I sit on them with my baby. I say all this to ask for prayers.. I’m desperate and terrified, and I’m tired of being scared all the time. I can’t keep doing this. It’s literally depressing me. Please, keep me in your prayers 😞

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello,

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way right now. It sounds like your OCD is really making it difficult for you right now. I know what it's like to stress over a child.

Have you talked to your doctor about what you're feeling? I know for me things really started to change when I was just honest with my doctor. He prescribed some medication and I asked him to refer a therapist. It took about 2 weeks to start feeling any effect, but after about a month or so the thoughts were less "sticky". A few months after that with therapy I was feeling a lot better.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you're not alone and there are literally thousands of people out there who want (and can) help. You just need to ask.

I pray that you will find some peace in this and I know God will protect you and your family.

[Bean13 in reply to IStillHaveHope]

I appreciate that ❤️ I have talked to my PCP and have been to therapy twice (going back Monday) about this. Also, hoping to start medication for it Wednesday. I’m honestly so overwhelmed by things I read online, and try to stay off but I can’t.

I pray, and try to have faith that God knows all my fears and worries, and cares. I went to church for the first time since having my baby, and honestly, even that helped. I sometimes think my anxiety/OCD is a way of God bringing me to Him.

Thank you for your reply ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Bean13]

I know He is a really good Father....He is so pleased when we trust Him and refuse to fear. He never would frighten you about your baby's health. He is so good He loves you and your baby more than you know! I will be praying for you....remind yourself you cannot do anything by yourself so let Him protect you two. He does the best job!

[IStillHaveHope in reply to Bean13]

Yeah I understand the hesitancy to get on medicine. For a long time I tried to "do it myself", but honestly once I got on the correct medication it helped tremendously.

Really don't read the reviews online. Everyone is different and one medication that is great for someone may not be good for someone else. For me the worst of the side effects were gone in about 10 days, and most of the smaller ones were gone (or significantly reduced) in a month.

I really hope this helps you. Remember you're not alone in this and you're not the first to go through it. It is possible to get better. I (and many others on this site) are living proof.

[Hidden]

I will pray for you.

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi Bean. You're in my thoughts. Hold on and keep asking for help.

The media make their money out of scaring us. Don't think of them as caring advocates. That's not their job. They remind me think of carnivores trying to stampede a herd to single out a weak member.

Lead contamination is a real concern when you have a toddler who may pick up pieces of loose paint and eat them.

Wanting to protect your child is also perfectly normal.

When you know your fears are going too far, reach out here. It's a great supportive place because we live with our own problems and get it.

[Bean13 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you ❤️

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Bean13]

You're welcome. How are you doing today? 🙏 🦜

[Marvelouslight]

Praying for Our Father to meet you right where you are and to take every thought and worry that is NOT of HIM, captive and make it obedient to HIM and HIS WORD.

No weapon formed against you shall prosper. Lord I pray that you will comfort Bean13 and release this stronghold that is trying to convince her that she should be in fear. Father God, your word says we should not live in fear and so I am asking right here, right now that you will wrap your arms around Bean13 and rebuke this fear that is NOT of you from her life. Lord if that means that you want to walk her through this storm, then please carry her and cover her with the MOST precious and powerful armor, the BLOOD of YOUR SON that was shed on the cross for us sinners that destroys all of evils ones plan to kill, steal and destroy. Bean13 Our father hears you, keep praying and keep BELIEVING for his MIGHTY WORKS to overcome and defeat this OCD!!! Blessings~

[Bean13 in reply to Marvelouslight]

Thank you ❤️ I appreciate your prayers

[fromzerotopanic]

Hi Bean, I just replied to someone else about this as well, then saw your post. First, I can totally relate to your post! You might want to try joining the other group on this site called 'anxiety and depression support group' as well as being in this one. I realized my OCD goes hand in hand with anxiety, and this other group can help with the anxiety component! I've learned a great deal from this group as well as the other, and the more help we can get, the more insights as to what's going on, the better we'll be!

[good2accept]

I can just say that ocd really presented itself in my life when I was a new Mom. I don’t know if there is a hormonal trigger, but please don’t be too hard on yourself.