What do you think of Peer Support?

[alexandraisobsessed]

I came across this quote from the book "The Body Keeps the Score" the other day. While I have yet to read the book I'm certain I will at some point as it is a trauma book which comes highly recommended by my therapist.

The quote resonates with me deeply regarding my own experience with trauma BUT it also resonates for me with OCD and my experiences of fear and shame surrounding my obsessions and compulsions.

I hear from my peers a lot that, as OCD sufferers, we have an awareness that we are different and that the stigma, shame and knowledge of being "different" causes us to isolate. In a sense, OCD causes us to feel unsafe or uncertain in our connections with others. I know in my own life it made me feel very lonely and on the outside of life. I felt like everyone else was enjoying things while I was too busy being fearful and in my head.

Finding peer support and making connections in the OCD community has been my saving grace and it really has opened up the path to a much more meaningful and satisfying life.

What do you think? Do you find yourself feeling unsafe with others due to your OCD? Does this quote resonate for you? I'd love to have a conversation about it.

Have a lovely day,

Alex

[Hidden]

Hi. I think that some people don't understand "why" us OCD suffers do what we do. I like the quote but not sure myself if safety is a factor for me. I think that it is important to have supportive people. I do fear shameful at times for how OCD can control me at times and I don't talk to my family about it. I am comfortable about talking about it here I guess because we are all in the same boat. It isn't that my family are not supportive as I have a great brother and sister but I would be embarrassed to say about it to them.

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to Hidden]

I love what you've said here. I agree that some people don't understand our behaviors which can put stress on the relationships. The shame resonates. There are definitely things I just can't/won't say to my husband or loved ones because I don't think they would understand. I either keep it to myself or talk to my peers about it.

[Hidden in reply to alexandraisobsessed]

Thanks for nice comment. Some days I feel I am winning, other days OCD is winning, like a tennis match back and forth. Guess we all like that. We need to keep battling and win the set and match against OCD!!!

[Sallyskins]

I don't really feel unsafe with others - that isn't really how I'd put it - but I'm aware of being different because of my OCD, and that it leads to behaviours that often need explaining.

I suppose it's lack of self-confidence too - as a child and teenager I was very shy and though I always had good friends I found it hard to socialize. I managed to force myself to be more socially outgoing as I got older, but still found it hard to accept that anyone actually liked me.

I still feel that now - I am open to people making friends with me, but backward at coming forward when it comes to being the one who pursues the friendship.

Having OCD is isolating - it's difficult to get out and be with other people when you feel that your behaviour embarrasses or irks them - but having people around you who accept this really helps!

I admit that I have often felt like the Little Match Girl - on the outside while other people are having fun! But for me it matters to have meaningful activity and meaningful connections.

It's also good, as you have found, to connect with others who also have OCD. It might not be the best thing to have in common with someone else, but it certainly helps us not to feel so alone with it!

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to Sallyskins]

Yes, it is such an isolating disorder and can be difficult to explain. I think that is slowly but surely changing though!I agree with you, that I can still feel much like the Little Match Girl, but that the meaningful connections and experiences are so important to me that I pursue them regardless. Some days everything really lines up and I feel amazingly in sync. Other days, I still feel like I'm on the outside, but I'm proud I did it anyway.

[Sallyskins]

Just a note to say that this book sounds really interesting and valuable. I have googled it and read up about it. So thanks for putting us all onto it!

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to Sallyskins]

You're welcome! There are some others she recommended as well. I still have to dig up all of my resources and put them into another post. I will try to do that for this coming Wednesday.