Sorry, new to this site, I followed a link from another site where I was doing research. Basically every night I have to go through my house making sure certain things are locked/off/on/in a certain place, it takes at least half an hour every night, sometimes more if I have to redo it because I got disturbed or distracted. I also have to do this when I leave the house, I don't really like going out in big social situations anyway because I don't want to embarrass myself/family, think people don't like me, and generally just constantly worry that something bad might happen to one of us or the house while we're out, if I'm having a really bad day or really don't want to go where we're going then I'll get random thoughts pop into my head like 'none of this is real' or how dangerous driving in a car is and the kind of accident that could happen (obviously I know these thoughts aren't real/won't actually happen, but that doesn't mean they stop).
So anyway does this sound like something or is it just normal for everyone? I don't want to go to the gp without being certain because i went a couple of months ago about being exhausted (to the point of struggling to get out of bed or being able to carry out simple tasks) in the days following a trip out (i.e family gathering or zoo trip) and they dismissed it as me getting old and having young children (I'm 30 and have 3 kids under 6) even though I told them it's not that kind of tired, and I now believe it could be because when I go out I spend so much energy worrying, thinking, checking things, etc that it just drains me out, if that makes sense - but I don't want to go again and be told I'm just old or get a black mark against my name or something for bothering them.
Sorry for the long post, thanks to anyone who reads this x
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Vikki111
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Hi vikki - it does sound like ocd - very much mirrors my thinking pattern - please go back to the gp- as many times as you need to - your thoughts are real and you are entitled to be listened to - you are not crazy and you are not being a nuisance- please seek help- if you feel you haven’t been taken seriously ask for a second opinion- don’t stop- I sought help for ocd 20 years ago and was told I didn’t fit the criteria- things got worse and have only recently got a diagnosis along with 7 others plus lots of unhealthy coping strategies- I’ve pushed people away and destroyed relationships- I’ve pretty much stopped functioning and barely leave the house - so please please please seek help and support- no one knows you better than you so please have the confidence and determination to speak to gp again- I’d suggest making a list of all your concerns and be prepared so you’re not fobbed off - maybe even keeping a diary of how things affect you x
Yes this sounds just like OCD. I have the same thought patterns as you. Have to walk through the house and check EVERYTHING to make sure doors are locked, etc. Be persistent with your MD and/ or find another one who will listen to you. You deserve to get better.
In my unprofessional opinion this sounds like OCD. When I am stressed, my thoughts and patterns are similar to yours. It’s ok not to be certain about it before talking to your GP because they are there to help you. If they’re not listen ask for a referral or seek out a professional in the area so that you can get the help you need to function properly and be your best self. It’s a struggle but once you start going thru the process of getting the help you need, you’ll find new ways to feel like yourself again. The biggest takeaway with ocd for me is managing stress. If I manage stress then my ocd is not so high. It’s there to a degree but not as unmanageable.
Nikki, as someone who suffers from OCD and has learned a lot about it, I have the following observations:
“every night I have to go through my house making sure certain things are locked/off/on/in a certain place, it takes at least half an hour every night, sometimes more if I have to redo it because I got disturbed or distracted. I also have to do this when I leave the house” - This is classic checking OCD. Period.
“I don't really like going out in big social situations anyway because I don't want to embarrass myself/family, think people don't like me” Maybe agoraphobia or OCD or both - both agoraphobia and OCD are anxiety based illnesses.
“generally just constantly worry that something bad might happen to one of us or the house while we're out” - Maybe Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or OCD or both - both agoraphobia and OCD are anxiety based illnesses.
“how dangerous driving in a car is and the kind of accident that could happen” - Sounds like Obsessions.
“(obviously I know these thoughts aren't real/won't actually happen, but that doesn't mean they stop)”
OCD is the only (or one of only a few) mental illness in which sufferers are usually self-aware enough to recognize that their thoughts and anxieties are out of proportion to reality, excessive, imagined, not real, etc. But they can’t stop them.
Is this what’s happening:
You always feel “things aren’t right”?
This leads you to question whatever you happen to be facing at the moment?
For example:
You face securing the house for the night, you feel things aren’t right, and consequently you obsess / compulse about it.
You’re in a social situation, you feel things aren’t right, and consequently you obsess about embarrassing yourself.
You leave your house unattended, you feel things aren’t right, and consequently you obsess about what could go wrong in your house.
You’re driving in a car, you feel things aren’t right, and consequently you obsess about accidents.
That sounds very like OCD! The best place for you to start to overcome it is to make another appointment with your doctor and ask for a referral to an OCD therapist for CBT, or cognitive behavioural therapy, which is the standard treatment. Don't be fobbed off, and go to a different doctor if yours doesn't give satisfaction. Some GPs just don't know much about mental problems and don't understand how distressing they can be. But OCD is a real condition and really impacts on your quality of life. Medication, in the form of an SSRI antidepressant, may also be offered. Meds can help enormously in damping down the OCD and making the CBT easier to do, but not all patients get on well with it. They take 4-6 weeks to kick in properly.
The other thing you can do is to get a self help book that uses CBT techniques. There are lots of the market, but I've been helped particularly by Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the OCD Workbook. They explain OCD to you, in its various forms, and have exercises you can adapt to your own version of OCD.
It's possible, as suggested in one of the other replies to your question, that you have a touch of agoraphobia as well. I have it myself, and it's partly down to feeling compelled to do OCD rituals when I'm out, and embarrassment at doing them, and partly down to being stressed by crowds.
Having OCD is exhausting, and you have enough to do with three children under 6! But it is treatable. Remember that most people, whether or not they have OCD, have weird random thoughts. But these float into their heads and straight out again, whereas if you have OCD they stick inside your head and are hard to get rid of! The trick is to acknowledge them, rather than pushing them away, and then ignoring them. Then they go away of their own accord, whereas if you try to argue with them, they just come back at you. (Rather like a toddler having a tantrum!)
Other things you can do include shaking up your checking rituals. Check things in a different order, allow yourself to check just once, not over and again, and start leaving things out that you would normally check. Remember that the panic you may feel will subside. This is one way of whittling down your exhausting routines. Once done, don't relive them in your mind.
This is something you can overcome. CBT can be difficult, but it works. and it's important to know that there is no failure in not managing to resist the OCD. Each little attempt is a small victory over OCD.
Thank you all for your replies, I have spoken to a doctor (who I felt couldn't get me of the phone fast enough) and she sent me the link to self refer to the psychology wellbeing service, so now it's just a case of waiting for an assessment appointment with someone! In the meantime I'm going to look for some books/reading to try and understand it a bit better, for me it's just been a normal part of life for so long - I only happened to come across an article about OCD and found that it was very similar to myself, so realised that what I do might not be normal or healthy.
I would say you are both anxious and have OCD. My OCD started with the checking of locking doors at night too. Since then it got worse. If you can take some kind of control over it now, do it. Maybe make a checklist and go around at night using your list so you only have to do it once. Try your best. You don't want this to get too far out of your control. I wish I could go back and would have tackled my OCD when it started and maybe I wouldn't be so bad now. You should mention it to your Dr. and you may be able to get some relief from a med too. Good Luck to you.
Thank you, I've actually been doing this kind of thing since I was a teenager (so maybe 15 yrs) so to me it's kind of normal, but it's just grown from being only checking the light switch is off to now checking switches, doors, windows, etc. So, I think it's maybe already a bit too far gone. I can't go upstairs at night without doing it, it's like my body just won't go in that direction until I've checked everything.
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