Hi,
My name is Summer and I am currently in a partial hospitalization program for my OCD. I just finished my fifth week of the program. Therapy has been excruciatingly painful at times, but I have been making progress. I just wanted to share words of encouragement that there is hope for even the most severe cases of OCD. I have suffered from OCD since I was 8, although I wasn't diagnosed until I was 18 and didn't start receiving the proper treatment until I was 24. I am 28 this July and I haven't been able to hold down a full time job in my adult life, despite having a bachelor's degree. I suffered from depression for several years and lost my mom to cancer when I was 22. But I have come on the other side of that, and I am now coming on the other side of my OCD. I have been fortunate enough to have had a mother who provided for me even after her death, and though it has been very hard financially, I have been able to receive treatment. It's still hard, and I'll probably be in treatment for months. But good therapy is starting to become more available and accessible, and organizations like Rogers have generous donors who help others afford treatment. The tools I have been learning have been life-changing. I hope to one day share what I have learned through a blog and through future work as a clinician. Once I get my symptoms under control, I hope to go back to school to become an OCD specialist. There aren't enough treatment providers out there. I want to dedicate my life to helping others with OCD.
Treatment is very hard work, but recovery is possible. I am proof that even those with unfortunate circumstances like mine can overcome this disorder. I want to leave you all with a poem I wrote while I was in residential treatment a couple of years ago:
Falling like a sparrow in the sky
Weary, fragile, burned
To the pits in the depths of the earth
Where darkness is my only companion
A faint light, I see, rising from the depths
Like a little lightning bug
Swarming, buzzing around me
All I see are the few steps in front of me
The way out, the light knows
Just have to follow it
Just have to trust it
And one day I will see spring again
One day it will be summer
And the little light will lead me
Out of the pit of darkness
And I will be free
Like a raven soaring in the sky
Above the toxic wasteland
Where it can trap me no more
And steal no more of my joy
How I long for that day
To be free of my chains of darkness
Lord, set me free
I hope I can encourage someone today. Know you are not alone. Hang in there. People with OCD are some of the strongest and most resilient people I know.