Are there any parents here of adult children dealing with OCD?

[miss_chai]

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is the right community for me. My son, who's 26, has been dealing with what I am 99% sure is OCD with disturbing intrusive thoughts and has just started therapy a couple months ago. I am feeling so helpless and it is heartbreaking to see him struggling like he is...I guess I'm just here to learn more about OCD and hoping that there are other parents/loved ones of people struggling with OCD who understand. Thanks for reading.

[2boys2girls]

Hi, I feel your pain. My son is 40 and he was diagnosed with OCD when he was about 7. Medication helped him for a very long time then as a teenager it showed its ugly face again, and then again in his 20’s. He’s struggled on and off most of his life with this horrible disorder. This past year has been the worst though. It’s absolutely heartbreaking and, and even as this is the longest and worst bout he’s had, we are hopeful for his recovery with ongoing therapy.

I’m glad your son is in therapy. Hang in there. You’re in my prayers.🙏🏻

[miss_chai in reply to 2boys2girls]

Thank you so much, and big, big hugs to you. At first we thought it was just general anxiety and depression, but we've realized that it goes much deeper. It started when he was around 18 or 19, and has just been getting worse, especially over the last year or so. He also tends to balk against trying any coping strategies, and I think is hoping medication will be the cure all, but I know it's not always that simple. I'll be keeping you and your son in my prayers too. 💕

[sm02 in reply to miss_chai]

Oh my goodness, that sounds so much like my son. He’s 22 & just wants to be “normal”. He’s tried many medications & treatments & none have really helped. He’s angry & in denial & just wants this demon of a disorder to go away.

To make matters worse, he recently lost the one friend he felt like he could connect & share with. His friend passed in December & my son’s OCD is getting increasingly worse. He’s begun to feel hopeless & is ready to give up.

I posted for my first time tonight bc it’s the worst I think he’s ever been and I’m desperate to help him.

I know it’s not “normal” to look for friends for a grown child, but I am desperate to help him feel better about himself & to begin to move forward

If your son might be interested in making a friend going through a similar situation, I’d love to connect them.

[miss_chai in reply to sm02]

I am so, so sorry to hear about your son and his struggles. My heart goes out to you both. Unfortunately, my son isn't in a place on his journey that he's ready to reach out to someone yet. But I totally get where you're coming from. You're being a good mama. Big, big hugs to you, and I hope your son finds the help he needs. ❤️❤️❤️

[Natureloverpeace]

I’ll send you the email address in a private message of the person to contact for the Family and Loved Ones of Those with OCD Support Group if you’re interested. Check under Connections or Chat for the private message. I hesitate to put it in the general feed because that may generate spam for her. She has given me permission to share it and I have many times in various groups.

She is a very dedicated and enthusiastic OCD Advocate and the mother of an adult son with OCD. She runs a virtual support group with her son who is also an OCD Specialist who is very understanding, compassionate and is an advocate too. The group meets for two hours on the second Saturday of the month. Her son starts out the group by interviewing guest(s) who are either a person with OCD and a family member(s) or providers who are involved in treating OCD. He then opens up the group for people to ask questions in the chat. A few days later, she sends out a detailed email with the resources that were talked about during the group.

[Italy15 in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I would be interested in the virtual support group. My daughter struggles with OCD.

Thank you.

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Italy15]

I just sent you a private message in the Chat feature.

[Tbzrb in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I would love to know more about the group as well. My adult son has OCD and went through a wonderful intensive outpatient program that really helped. Six month later now, I’m seeing him slip back a bit and I think an ongoing support group would be helpful for both of us.

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Tbzrb]

I just sent you a private message in the Chat feature.

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Tbzrb]

Your son would be welcome in the group too even though it’s geared toward family and loved ones. People with OCD attend and learn a lot too.

Community Conversations and Town Hall are livestreams that run on most Tuesdays at 7:00 Eastern Time on various platforms such as YouTube and Facebook. They are recorded. It is led by an IOCDF National Advocate who has OCD. People can interact in the chat with each other and ask the group leader questions. The group leader is knowledgeable. empathetic and has a sense of humor.

[LoveIsEverything in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Could you send me the link for this group. Thank you!

[Natureloverpeace in reply to LoveIsEverything]

I just sent you a private message.

[tobeme in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I also would be interested in this group.Th ank you

[Natureloverpeace in reply to tobeme]

I just sent you a private message.

[sm02 in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Thank you so much, I would love to check this out. I can’t seem to find the “private chat” section that you mention- where can I look?

[Natureloverpeace in reply to sm02]

I’m using an Apple device. At the bottom of the screen it lists My hub, Chat, Post, Alerts and Menu. The Chat symbol looks like a paper airplane. I will send you a private message with the email address to contact to register for the group.

[2boys2girls in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I’d love the info about the family and loved ones support group please.

[Natureloverpeace in reply to 2boys2girls]

I just sent you a private message with the contact info to register for the group.

[Livewithpeaceandjoy in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Can you share it with me too? My son is struggling with OCD. Thank you!

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Livewithpeaceandjoy]

Welcome to OCD Community! I just sent you a private message with the contact information for joining the Family and Loved Ones OCD Support Group.

[Mollyis4 in reply to Natureloverpeace]

My son has had severe ocd for 2 years. We would like to connect with othet families. Thank you.

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Mollyis4]

I just sent you a private message.

[Tbzrb]

I understand where you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this (and your son). This community was helpful to me when I was seeking resources for my young adult son. I think I’ve learned that finding someone who really specializes in OCD makes a big difference. I also learned that finding the best level of care/specialization is necessary and also challenging and frustrating. We ended up going out of state for intensive outpatient therapy, and it was an incredible program. I can tell you that for over a year my son was really resistant to any form of therapy or medication. I was at my wits end when he finally agreed to give the IOP a chance. I swear it all started to click when the appropriate medication was given time to ‘kick in’ (~6wks) along with the therapy, support, and community of his IOP. Now I see him slipping back a bit, and that helpless feeling is coming back to me as he doesn’t see what I see. You’re not alone. There are posts here you can scroll through that hopefully will resonate with you and provide insights and hope.

[Inflorida1 in reply to Tbzrb]

Would you mind sharing what IOP program your son did? I'm struggling to find the right care for my son. No medication or therapies have worked for him and it is so difficult to find the right programs that truly specialize in OCD.

[Tbzrb in reply to Inflorida1]

Yes! The name is Pathlight Mood and Anxiety Center. They were the best service provider I had spoken to (out of several) from the very first call to learn more, to their coordination of care, working with insurance, etc. They were wonderful to work with, very compassionate. They several locations around the country, and luckily the closest to us was just under two hours away.

[Inflorida1 in reply to Tbzrb]

Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate you sharing this!

[sm02 in reply to Tbzrb]

Thank you for the suggestions & kind words. It really is a comfort and encouragement to connect with others in similar situations. It’s so hard to articulate & explain to anyone on the outside of it.

I pray your son begins to lean into the strength & tools he acquired before & push back before it takes hold again.

All the best to you & your family 🩷

[miss_chai in reply to Tbzrb]

Thank you for sharing that and for your kind words. My son has actually just reached out to a therapist that specializes in OCD--the therapist he's currently seeing isn't really helping anymore. He's started back on his anxiety meds a couple days ago, so hopefully that will alleviate things a bit once he's over the nausea and side-effects. He went to work today and seems like he's doing a bit better. It's also a new-ish job (started in Dec) which might be what triggered the stress and these last episodes--plus he and his GF have moved back in with us temporarily as they had been struggling financially. Everything has gotten so expensive. I really hope your son doesn't slide too much and finds his footing again -- sending hugs and light. ❤️

[Sallyskins]

It's certainly true that OCD can be really gruelling for parents and other family members - and parents feel their children's pain, no matter how old the children are. I know I put my mother through a lot.

Therapy can make a real difference, though, and your son should be able to make progress in fighting OCD. It's a slow process, though - and setbacks are common. But a little progress can make a great difference to his life.

A few tips when dealing with someone with OCD:

It's a real test of your patience, but try not to sound impatient.

Avoid a running commentary when he's struggling, such as 'you're doing really well' and the like. It's meant to be helpful, but it can be distracting.

On the whole, if he's struggling, it's best to let him get on with it the best he can without offering help or intervening.

If he wants help and asks for it then it's all right to give it in some limited ways. But not too much - if he's to beat the OCD then he'll need to stretch himself a little and learn to do things he's currently unable to do. Too much help, and there's little incentive to try.

There are lots of books that can help your son, and help you to understand OCD. A couple of titles worth reading are Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M Winston and Martin N Self, and The OCD Workbook - this book has a substantial section aimed at family and friends of people with OCD.

[miss_chai in reply to Sallyskins]

I really appreciate your insights on this--thank you so much. I actually did get the first book you mentioned (not the workbook) for him, but he hasn't had any interest in reading it. I think right now the idea of reading a book is perhaps just too overwhelming--just getting through the day is enough of a struggle. I will read it myself and it will be there when he's ready.

It's so hard to know how much to help without it becoming something that hinders...something I constantly struggle with.

[Sallyskins in reply to miss_chai]

So many parents/partners/friends etc do so want to help but aren't sure what to do! But I can assure you that just being there for your son is a lot - a lot more than perhaps you realize.

It can be a bit of a struggle reading a book when you are in the grip of OCD, or doing anything that requires concentrating. But little steps!

[miss_chai in reply to Sallyskins]

Thanks again, Sally. I truly appreciate your words. 💗 And, I'm happy to report that he seems to be having a good day. More energy and in a good mood. The nausea from the meds has abated, and he said his OCD thoughts were more manageable today, thank goodness.

[Leakitty]

I have a 25 yr old son who is struggling with OCD. It’s really hard to be that Mom.

I recommend reading a book from the list on the IOCDF site. There are books for family members. I found that helpful.

[miss_chai in reply to Leakitty]

Thank you, Leakitty--I will check those out. And, hugs to you and your son. ❤️

[Nicksmom2025]

My son is 23. He struggles with OCD and anxiety. He is unable to leave the house. We have tried so many medications /therapists my husband and I are at a loss as to how to help him.

[miss_chai in reply to Nicksmom2025]

Dear Nicksmom, my heart goes out to you--I understand the helplessness and how absolutely gut-wrenching this is. I hope your son finds his way through this. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending big hugs and loving energy your way. Hang in there. 💗

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Nicksmom2025]

Unfortunately, most therapists don’t have the specific training required to treat OCD effectively. It really needs to be done by an OCD specialist at the level of care that your son needs. OCD as you’re well aware, is hard on loved ones too. If you’re interested, I can send you the contact info to a virtual support group for the family and loved ones of OCD. It is run by an OCD specialist, who has OCD, and his mother who is an advocate.

[Nicksmom2025]

thank you