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[Sesa79]

Hi everyone just thought I’d tell you a little bit about what’s going on with me I was diagnosed with ocd 10 years ago I’m now 41 but reckon it started in high school.

I had a terrible time with it 10 years ago I was not looking after myself and stopped my uni course and my partner took me to stay with my mom as he did not want me to be on my own in the day.

I had an awful time horrendous thoughts which changed constantly suicide thoughts felt like I was loosing it I’d always been on sertraline since I was 18 they were upped to the highest dose and was put put on some other meds I was in a desperate state and I don’t know how I got through it but thankfully had cbt and read as much as I could and got support from ocd uk.

Anyway fast forward to now 10 years and I’m not in a good place I’m thankful I’ve had 10 years relatively ok I’ve completed a floristry course and now have my own shop.

At Christmas I had a relapse it was awful I couldn’t manage the shop so came to moms as my partner was working on the railways I slept a lot and for two weeks I feel like it was a blur just trying to get through the days.

I did again and was intouch with doctors etc I went back to work in January and plodded on had busy few months but about 2 weeks ago I fell into a deeper ocd relapse I rang 111 as was beside myself they gave me some diazepam to calm me down and sleeping pills which wearing of both but the thoughts have been horrific intrusive and continuously change I’m trying hard I’ve slept a lot but I’m exhausted I started cbt yesterday and went for a walk with my mom today I’m petrified all the time and worry I’ll always get relapses.

The latest thoughts are that I’ll say something horrible to someone just blurt it out it’s horrid cause I’m questioning it and I know it’s ocd but always feels so real.

Thanks for listening if you got this far

[GreenGivesMeStrength]

I am sorry to hear this and I just wanted to thank you for having such an inspiring strength to share your experience. I am sending you a virtual hug and I hope you will get through this again soon <3

[Sesa79 in reply to GreenGivesMeStrength]

Thankyou so much x

[nkotbjoeymc]

Sorry To Hear About This.

[Fargo-Guy]

This anxiety can be real. You sound like you have a real issue. God Bless you and protect you. He can give you strength.

[Bigbrighteyes96]

Welcome Sesa79 and hope you find this place useful