Tired, confused.

[Islande_King]

For the past week I have been doing the exercise of "Maybe, Maybe Not" when it comes to any intrusive thoughts. It has been really beneficial and helpful when it comes to my anxiety surrounding the thoughts I feel confident and comfortable to continue on with life.

The thoughts are still there though. In fact I had a whole new set earlier.

Now I know the whole thing is that they never go away, however now because I just don't have as much anxiety, I have alot of doubt coming up. I don't feel so much so anxious; I feel stuck, unable to function and carry on. Not looking for reassurance just maybe some tips, advice?

[helloworld22]

Hi,

Can you explain the “maybe, maybe not“ exercise? I’m not familiar with it.

Thanks

[3BirdLover in reply to helloworld22]

The "maybe, maybe not" is a great tip when intrusive thoughts and doubts come into my head. When a scarey thing comes into your head, or fear of doing something wrong, I think " maybe, maybe not" and let the thought drift back out again. Do not act on it (compulsion). Just let it come in, say "maybe, maybe not" and go on not compulsing. It may not help in all situations, but it is quite helpful.

There are no many tips for OCD like this one that one can pick up and learn. Some work in different situations. I made index cards with each card describing something about OCD or having a helping tip on it. When I get an intrusive thought, it helps to pull out the index cards and run through them. If you would like some examples of what I have on the cards, let me know and I'll explain further. Many I have picked up through therapy, by watching the IOCDF webinars, reading books, etc. They are in my "OCD Toolbox" where I have a bunch of helps there for me.

❤️

[helloworld22 in reply to 3BirdLover]

Thanks for the explanation.

[shawnmarie in reply to 3BirdLover]

Would love to hear more about your index cards-- are they scripts?

[3BirdLover in reply to shawnmarie]

Hi. Here are a few examples of what my index cards say:

* Practice self-compassion - give yourself a break!

* There will be some amount of uncertainty. Accept it and move forward

* Wait at LEAST 5 minutes before doing anything!!! Stretch - Walk - Breathe - Walk away. Do NOT respond now (this is when triggered)

* Maybe... maybe not!!!

* Is this a healthy behavior or unnecessary?

* Pray!

* I HAVE OCD, but I am NOT my OCD

* Yell at my OCD and tell it to 'hit the road'

* Kick that OCD to the curb

* If it seems excessive, take another look...

* It's OK to have uncertainty

* OCD is a bully!

* An intrusive thought is an illusion ... not a fact!

* Feels and thoughts are NOT facts.

* Worry thinks it's problem-solving....it isn't.

* OCD is a disorder...not a decision

* OCD will NEVER be satisfied

* Go to urge911.com when I'm triggered and wait 20 minutes

Of course, these will not all work for everyone or every situation. You have to decide and find what works for YOU.

[shawnmarie in reply to 3BirdLover]

Thank you so much-- these are wonderful!!!

[helloworld22 in reply to 3BirdLover]

Regarding “* Practice self-compassion - give yourself a break!” this is how I give myself permission to do it:“Think about the people who truly care about you. Do you truly believe they expect you to torture yourself over such and such? No, they don’t.”

And

“Do other people torture themselves about such and such? No, they don’t. Do you really think they expect you to torture yourself that way? No.”

[LyndsyLoo]

I think what you are experiencing is called the back door spike. Once your anxiety starts to decrease, the doubts are more common to start coming in. I am not trying to reassure you but I believe that is what you are describing. I also know that our thoughts come and go and will wax and wane as we work through erp. I have suicide theme ocd and my thoughts are so scary. It doesn’t just come with “thoughts”, they come with strong scared feelings too.

[Islande_King in reply to LyndsyLoo]

I think may be a possibility. It can just feel so horrible when you have to sit and dwell in the horrible thoughts so they can pass. Also freakd you out when the thoughts and images just switch up.

[FirstResponder23]

Hello, what you’re describing is exactly how I feel. I’ve gone through this many times. When I start to gain control, ocd try’s to flip and act in another way or latch on to something else. I know exactly how you feel with it being exhausting. Also, you were spot on with say that you “feel stuck.” I have said this so many times and feel like so many people who don’t have this don’t understand.

I am also in a current state where I had some major ocd pop up and I’ve been working on it. The anxiety has seemed to diminish a lot and I am able to focus more through the day, but I too find myself still having the thoughts come up and they latch on for a little and make me upset. Not reassuring, but letting you know this happens to many people including myself. I will say this, this too shall pass.

I know in my heard this will eventually pass, but there is that little bit of doubt that still holds on right. And that’s where we remain “stuck.” When we are able to let go of that and accept it, it melts away a lot easier. By no means is this easy, because as I said I am doing the same thing right now. Also knowing exactly why I feel this way but still find myself stuck is such a frustrating feeling. But I’m learning to let go of that frustration and instead focus on what my day has in front of me. Keep working hard. We all know ocd is a bully. We need to bully it back!

[Islande_King in reply to FirstResponder23]

Yes, I've been improving anxiety wise, but the weight and fear attached to the OCD just continues to weigh. We must be determined not to give in and to keep pushing.