What if my hocd turns to something else

[Shayan123uuu]

Hey everyone, a couple of months ago I was diagnosed with hocd i was sk frustrated that I wanted to kill my self I wasn't able to see a guy or a girl since I always feared that the thought of being gay will arrive I always used to think about it 24/7 and suddenly after seeimg my own penis while peeing a thought came that I might like dicks I tried so hard to get it out but it had already concured my mind. The thought says that I wanna get fucked but actually I nlknow I totally dont I am so embarrased to tell that I even tried to finger my ass just to check if I like it or not I didnt found of I liked it or not my penis erected while doing this. And when ever I think about a penis in my ass I feel like I like it but I dont want to niether do I really like it. Please help me I just want to suicide now im so frustrated I cant focus on studies any more.

[Ocdwarrior]

I also have all kinds of sexual intrusive thoughts. I did erp and they don't bother me nearly as much. Just let the thots be there and don't fight the thots. Just say to yourself ok maybe I do want to maybe I really would enjoy that. Then bring your attention back to what your doing. Its really hard at first but with practice it gets so much easier. And for me OCD tries to make me feel guilty for not analyzing. Ocd will try to get us in all kinds of ways. Do your best to not let it. But also don't beat yourself up for when you fail. It's a learning process.

Ocd does not define you. Wishing you all the best.

[OCDneedshelp in reply to Ocdwarrior]

I know how hard it is to ignore the ocd fears/urges. I have suffered from HOCD before too. It was a terrible time for me. Your best bet is to find a therapist to talk to and see about going on some meds for the anxiety. Don’t try to test yourself because it will only make you feel worse. It’s so hard not to do so. One thought that if you can deal with it is to accept that you might have gay thoughts and that’s okay, that doesn’t make you gay.

[Shayan123uuu in reply to OCDneedshelp]

Thankyou so much. Will look into it

[Albertina_G]

Hello I can understand how tough it is is deal with OCD intrusive thoughts and sexual intrusive thoughts create a lot of distress in life. Have to try any therapy for your OCD? If not then find a therapist as soon as possible and start with ERP therapy as you can see Ocdwarrior comment ERP has helped him and it is the most effective treatment for OCD.

Try to expose yourself to your thoughts like if you are not seeing girls and boys then watch them and do expose yourself to all your thoughts. You can read some articles are ERP therapy to know how it works. I hope this will help you and you will soon feel better.

treatmyocd.com/blog/what-ex...

iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-tre...

[Shayan123uuu in reply to Albertina_G]

Thanks mam. But I live in pakistan and these deseases are not common here, my parents doesn't understand this and demotivates me always.

[Hidden]

Sexual feelings of all kinds are mysterious and there is no right & wrong with feelings, they're just feelings and they come and go and are pretty much impossible to control. OCD attacks us with thoughts that are especially upsetting to us and also flares up when there are issues of doubt. I know it will be really difficult for you, but it will help if you can find a way to live with uncertainty. Rather than trying to prove that you don't like penises, I would say to myself, "Maybe I'm homosexual. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I like boys. Maybe I like girls. Maybe I like both. I may never know for sure." That won't be easy, especially if you're a young guy, but you need to strengthen your living with uncertainty muscles and that will help you live with OCD. Good luck! Where in Pakistan are you? I live in the US, in California. Be gentle and kind with yourself.