Temporary relief

[pinkpenguins5]

So I’ve noticed with therapy that I’m kinda using it as my weekly reassurance that I’m not crazy. It always seems like there is something new I’m worried about which means I’m not actually taking the tools from therapy and using them I’m just using my therapy as my temporary relief. It’s really difficult to recover and I’m trying my best to keep motivation. Just sharing this realization I had because maybe there’s someone else who does that too. Also realized that looking through all these posts gives my OCD new things to worry about . When I first found out I had OCD I had one main worry and after reading/researching so much it has branched off into so many different worries. So really try not to research , (reassurance is my compulsion) because at the end of the day it just fuels the fire I’ve learned. Anyways I hope everyone is doing well , just thought I’d share some insight !

[Playonwords]

pinkpenguins5 Hi! I tend to research a lot too. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between researching and compulsion. My therapist said if what I’m doing is relieving my stress then it could be a compulsion. So I stopped researching about things that made me anxious and I’ve had fewer instances of feeling the need to research.

I also feel relief after my sessions. I’ve started journaling more because it allows me to look back on my progress over a longer time and then I feel better about where I am compared to months ago. I remember one of the speakers with IOCDF, Ethan, said to write down small wins, which also helps me see progress when I feel like nothing is changing.

Thanks for sharing your story! ❤️

[OrchidKoi15]

I too feel that when I learn other peoples ocd symptoms it causes me to think about them as well. Fortunately the thoughts don't stick around long and it helped me to not avoid reading them or hearing them. The fear of them becoming my issues I think is what causes the problem. I don't think it's reassurance your seeking at your therapy, I think it's understanding. I feel like even though there are many who suffer from ocd, it is such a lonely illness because everyone's is so different sometimes. I have a hard time relating to suffers with different symptoms even though we suffer the same illness. For me, just having my therapist say "I understand how distressing that must be" has helped me alot. Idk, I'm rambling. Hang in there.

[OCDneedshelp in reply to OrchidKoi15]

I know I have at times done research as a compulsion or a way to try and ease my anxiety. At times though too my research has also been triggers for me and made me feel far worse.

[OCDneedshelp in reply to OCDneedshelp]

It’s hard but it’s best not to focus on research and learn to live in the moment. I really struggle with this.

[Playonwords in reply to OrchidKoi15]

Yes! Just hearing ‘that sounds very distressing’ helps a lot! It can be lonely. I haven’t told many people that I have OCD, so seeking understanding here and elsewhere has been really helpful. 💖