Hi guys! I havent posted on here in a while, I tried typing up an update post for you all a few weeks ago, but site crashed when I tried posting it! Today I just wanted to say how great therapy and ERP are. I have so much of my life back. I'm so grateful for my therapist and the support I've gotten from all of you when I was at my lowest. I go to therapy every other week now instead of every week. At first it was challenging to go every other week because I had to rely on myself more to be consistent and do ERP, as well as make my own ERP exercises. I had a bit of a setback the first time, because I didn't really do any ERP for about 2 weeks. I started being consistent again, and my progress came back. My obsessions are still there, but they aren't as loud anymore. Anxiety ebs and flows and so does my OCD (obsessions) as well. I've learned acceptance surrounding this. I have days where I'm less optimistic and don't want to accept uncertainty, or accept the negatives in my life I can't control, but that's okay. That's life. Can't ask for perfection, even though OCD wants it. Acceptance!!
I don't post on here as often because as I progressed in my treatment, I realized I often used it for reassurance. It was necessary in the beginning as I really didn't understand OCD and did need someone to tell me, but now that I know these things, I need to be aware of what I'm posting and make sure it isn't just looking for reassurance. OCD also sometimes made me feel pressured to answer every persons posts on here, and it became overwhelming, so I need to find that balance. Going to challenge myself to start practicing that more because I miss being active on this community. Hope you are all doing well, keep fighting!
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disneyandme
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Hi disneyandme! It's nice to see you back. It's great that things are going well for you.
I'm not posting as much either, as sometimes it was compulsive behavior that was driving my actions. I talked things over with my therapist and we came up with some criteria for participating. Why am I posting or reading the forum? Is it anxiety and OCD or my values that are directing my actions? If it is OCD then I will probably feel unsettled, I will want certainty about the future, I will feel restless, it will feel urgent, be repetitive and I won't feel satisfied. If it is values based then I am reading and posting with a goal in mind, I will trust the process, have patience, accept that I can take the longer view and allow the uncertainty that I don't have to reply right away (and I may be missing things), I will read and post with openness and curiosity, and I will be flexible. This new mentality and questioning has allowed me to come back in a healthier manner.
This is great!! Thank you for sharing what you've learned from your therapist regarding this community, it is super helpful for myself and I'm sure others who may read this! Great job making this change Selesnya.
How has it been getting yourself to do the ERP? In some areas I've found it really hard to force myself to ignore the anxiety and actually proceed with the exposure. Some areas I'm doing OK in, but they weren't causing huge problems in my life. The areas that were significant problems before are still causing problems. How many exposures are you doing in a day or week? Did you just jump right into the hard exposures or did you work up to them?
I know I shouldn't compare myself to you, but it seems like a useful area to get tips on.
Hi Selesnya! The way I motivate myself is by remembering that I can either suffer and not get better (by not doing ERP), or suffer and have the chance of getting better (by doing ERP). For me, I started with some of my less prevalent themes when doing ERP to get myself used to the exercises and sitting with the anxiety. Now, I'm working up to some of my bigger themes. Although, some of these themes seem to have gone away on their own, just by how much I've learned and practiced acceptance and also as a result of my other ERPs. As my therapist says, there's no exact science behind it, and we can't expect perfection in our OCD treatment. In the beginning my therapist had me doing homework assignments about 2-3x a week. Now that I'm doing it on my own, I do it about every other day. If my symptoms are worse, I do it more often. Like I said, it's no exact science, just trying to find what works for me- and that may very well change in the future! Best of luck to you, be well.
Nice post and encouraging- really liking the end paragraph: OCD and feeling pressured to answer every persons post. Yes, I understand that one. Finding a balance in life is a fine line. We mess up but we can accept being ‘perfectly Imperfect’😊 Like you said: OCD wants perfection-yep! Glad to hear you are doing well and still fighting-
Thanks so much Aleese!! ❤️ balance is something I'm working on a lot, it's so important. Hope you're having a great day and a good rest of your evening.
Good for you! Congratulations and thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work. As you are able, please continue to share your success..you are inspiring!
Thank you! I needed these words of encouragement today, having a bit of an off day. Thanks for reminding me of the progress I’ve made. Difficult to not be hard on ourselves sometimes! Hope you’re doing good as well
Me, too! I was in a good place for about 5 days...then slipped and did a compulsion today. But we are all imperfect (even in recovery) and never alone. If you offer yourself a little grace today, I'll do the same for myself. Recovery is a rocky road, but an off day here or there does not mean we are off the recovery path - I promise. Hang in there!
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