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[Shannyx]

I'm currently waiting for help for existential OCD from mind. My last themes were harm and sexual harm which with therapy were treated quite quickly. Back then I thought it couldn't get any worse until this. My main questions revolve around death and what comes next. I'm driving myself mad trying to answer all the questions my brain is throwing me. It's sad because I'm so interested in astronomy and wanted to end up working in that area but think it would be impossible at the moment. The hardest part is my brain is telling me it isnt OCD because all these questions have answers and are mysteries to us all. I feel like I'm asking the right questions and every one else is oblivious, all conversations and things I was interested in seem irrelevant now. My anxiety is the highest it's ever been and I have never feared death as much as I do now and the fact that everyone I love will one day join me. Like one day I will just be internal nothingness, will I even know who I was? Will I be conscious I ever even existed? And if not then what is the point now? My mind keeps zooming into my future and assuring me one day all this will be over and ruining any moment I'm having in the present. I hope therapy starts soon because I cant handle this feel like I'm going crazy :((

[Hidden]

I would like to welcome you to the OCD Support Group.

We are here to help and give hope to each other.

We are in this together.

I wish you good health.

[Jen_m03]

I haven’t had everything you’ve mentioned but do have the thoughts about how this may all be over soon. It makes it difficult to enjoy a happy moment because there’s also sadness thinking this may be the last time, etc.

It sounds like the OCD has you in a trap of trying to figure out something that you can’t figure out. For this, I would apply maybe/maybe not responses to it. For example, “will I be conscious I ever existed.” Maybe you will maybe you won’t. Then notice and ride the wave of emotions that come with that while going about your day. The OCD maybe wants you to stop and work on these problems so you would want to do the opposite. Go do something that is important to you (I like to visit with family), and don’t let the OCD have its way.

I’m not sure which skills you used for the harm OCD but typically the same general skills can be used across OCD types. I have many themes but it’s the same principles.

I hope this helps a little.

[pinkcrafty]

I was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago and it changes very frequently. I didn't realize till a few months ago that my main OCD type is existential. Everything you wrote is how I feel. I'm afraid to die because of the unknown. It truly sucks because I love theories and the mysteries of the universe but the more I look into things the more triggers come up that then increase my anxiety. All the thoughts that come up are so hard to handle because they are future-based and take away the enjoyment of now because of what will eventually happen one day. I haven't seen many posts on this site related to existential OCD but if you would like to chat more feel free to message me.