Is this ocd???

[Sugarplum1811]

Hi everyone,

Although I have not been professionally diagnosed with OCD. It is apparent with my therapist do suffer from severe health anxiety. Some days it can be so debilitating and other days I can function normally (except maybe some nights when my thoughts take over). I thought I had GAD but now reading about OCD, I think I may be suffering from it.

Yesterday, I came to a realisation that I may have the anxiety disorder OCD. I don’t have any ritualistic/repetitive behaviours but I do get a few intrusive thoughts sometimes.

A few scary examples would be “what if I get shot when I’m walking down this road” “what if I’m just play fighting with my boyfriend and I accidentally seriously hurt him/cause death”. Normally I am able to brush these kind of thoughts away but not without a thought as to why I am having them. I don’t really have any compulsive behaviours to those kind of thoughts either. I still play fight with my bf and still walk down the same roads etc. They come and go as well so they never really go away.

Yesterday, I had an intrusive thought about my sexuality which caused me to panic so much and I have no idea why, I just felt so scared. I am sure I am straight yet I was finding it almost impossible to convince myself of this. I started googling and came across HOCD and then panicked even more thinking I have it. I started then googling about OCD in general and now I’m constantly anxious and thinking about what if I have OCD and thinking about the worst possible outcomes. I thought “if I have OCD, then I’d have to drop out of med school, then I’d lose my friends at uni and my boyfriend and my life would basically have no meaning left”. I even had thoughts that maybe I would never recover and just get worse and worse and then eventually not be able to function because of this mental health condition.

I have tried speaking to my mum about this and she just thinks I’m overthinking and I just need to be strong and push these kind of thoughts away. How do I make her understand thats it’s my mental health condition that’s making me overthink and unable to control these thoughts/feelings? She thinks if I just try hard enough I’ll be able to distract myself and move forward?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me at this point and I just want to know what kind of anxiety disorder I’m suffering from. Then I think I’ll be able to rest my mind because right now it’s racing to find out. Can someone shed some light between OCD and general anxiety? Are weird thoughts normal with general anxiety too? I just can’t seem to stop thinking about OCD at the moment and feel like I am “obsessing” about OCD. Please help. I’m terrified and I don’t even know why. I just need some support at this moment when no one else seems to understand what I’m going through. Thank you

[Hidden]

I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time.

OCD is an anxiety disorder.

It is connected with creating doubts, irrational thoughts, fears that something bad will happen.

I learnt in therapy to just accept these thoughts as they come.

Do not try to rationalize or argue with the thoughts.

The thoughts will slowly lose importance and fade away.

Sit with the anxiety.

In the beginning when OCD thoughts appear, they brings high levels of anxiety, but eventually the anxiety gets lesser.

We are in this together as a support network.

Hoping you feel better.

[TheGreatAvoider]

The thoughts of dying, killing, and hurting sounds like catastrophic thoughts. I have had these, though, my main OCD is sexual thoughts. I suggest seeing a psychiatrist for meds. I know the mental illness stigma is real. While my mental illness was snowballing I was afraid to ask for help for years. If you could find a peer support group it would help a lot. I don't know if you have NAMI where you live, but that would be a good place to start. Best wishes. Never give up hope.