Constantly overwhelmed

[On_Or_Off]

Hi there, I was diagnosed with OCD about 22 years ago. One thing I've never made progress with is overwhelm. I juggle a lot of different tasks and roles at work (as a scientist), and I have a semi-professional hobby on the side (aerial and acrobatics performing). So I feel like my OCD allows me to take on all these different things and remain very detailed and organized about them. However, I'm almost always dreading this or that or the other thing that lies ahead. The anticipation of upcoming performance, or the seemingly unmanageable amount of work I leave behind every day is very distracting and stressful to me. Does anyone have tips on how to deal with overwhelm? At times I just want to quit everything and live life as simply as I can.

[Surreylady]

I do get overwhelmed with things that I want to do and sometimes I find it all gets too much for me. It is good that you are have a job and are able to work, I am guessing you don't have it too bad? do you have any triggers?

[On_Or_Off in reply to Surreylady]

Thanks for your response! Yes, I do do a lot and think I'm a high-functioning anxious person. I've never quite understood my OCD and to what degree I have it. I am always doing body-focused repetitive behaviors and cleaning/putting things in their "right" place, and anxiety triggers those behaviors. I suppose I need to get to the root of my anxiety, but I suspect it lies in perfectionism and the irrational pursuit of it. I spend hours and days preparing for things and anticipating them (presentations, performances). I'm generally happy with the outcomes, but never totally satisfied. I think the act of doing this over and over and on and on is exhausting and I'm always at the brink of throwing the towel in and going to live in the woods or something lol. Wow, just realized I need some major therapy.

I've seen a Psychiatrist ever since I was diagnosed, and take meds, but we don't engage in cognitive therapy. I've had talk therapy, but we never focused on OCD, just the issues in my life at those times. I'm currently doing EMDR for trauma therapy, so maybe that will help a bit.

But in general, just wondering if this is a common symptom of OCD and what has helped others get through it. When I'm overwhelmed, I get quite moody and cry a lot.

Thanks again for your thoughts

[Surreylady in reply to On_Or_Off]

Ah ok, that is part of what I have which is anxiety and perfectionism! May I ask what has caused you to have this OCD and Anxiety? have you been through a accident? or has it just been stress brought from the job? x

[On_Or_Off in reply to Surreylady]

as of right now yes, there's a lot of stress with my job AND my side hobby (which is supposed to be my fun/creative outlet). both are things that i love & don't want to stop doing, but right now are stressful with demand and workload, and keeping up with them both is making me emotional (and you know we work so hard "keeping up"!). i have a habit of taking on a lot, and doing well with it because i have OCD. But then when it gets to be too much, i start to feel i'm losing control and as a result get overwhelmed and emotional. the overwhelm paralyzes my initiative to practice the side hobby because i don't even know where to start. and it makes work a completely draining affair where i'm just running my legs off and not taking lunch or breaks.

i could back off of my responsibilities with both of these roles, but then i would lose out on the self esteem boost that achieving gives me (such as with publishing papers and holding an audience captive).

but what if the actual demand isn't even that bad, just all in my mind? unreasonable expectations i've set for myself?

reading all this, i guess it is a good idea to talk to someone about my perfectionism, anxiety, and OCD, and i think i'll ask my current therapist about that.

i am curious, has anything in particular helped you with your perfectionism?

thanks again for caring!

[Surreylady in reply to On_Or_Off]

Do you pay for your health? or get free sessions on the NHS? Are you UK based?

[On_Or_Off in reply to Surreylady]

I'm in the US and have good insurance through my employer, but unfortunately the specialized anxiety treatment center I want to go to doesn't accept insurance. I'm going to save up for an assessment with them. In the meantime, I do go to a Psychiatrist and counselor, the one I'm currently doing EMDR with.

[Wheeloffortune]

I would highly encourage you to go to an OCD trained specialist! From what I’ve learned talk therapy isn’t the most effective treatment for OCD because OCD is a brain disorder that you manage by changing your responses. Go to the IOCDF’s website for some help in finding someone! God Bless🙏🙏

[pureobsession]

Hi. "Work obsessions" have been my main obsessions for the last 25 years. I certainly relate. I feel like I am always overwhelmed with work. Always! And yet, I've never been fired in 31 years of working. It is certainly OCD. I think about work on the weekends when I'm not working. I never realized I was avoiding things but a couple of months ago I finally saw that there were some work things I was avoiding. For example, I was trying to avoid emails at work during certain times (like after 5PM and on weekends), my work phone, etc. Even though some may think this avoidance is a good thing, it does the opposite for me - it perpetuates my "work obsessions".

[On_Or_Off in reply to pureobsession]

Yah, it's hard to truly disconnect from work at times. In this way, I suppose work can be an obsession.