My harm OCD has come back really bad - My OCD Community

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My harm OCD has come back really bad


Hi all hope yous are all doing well! My OCD has come back well it never left I just learnt to get by with it! Last few days have been really bad my thoughts have been so bad I have had panic attacks due to this thinking al hurt someone or my self a feel like am the only one with HOCD it's so upsetting!!!

16 Replies

Hi! It can be distressing when your symptoms come back but look on this as an opportunity to get better. Don’t fight the thoughts or the feelings. They are JUST thoughts and feelings. OCD wants you to believe they’re “real”.

I have harm ocd too. When I sense that ocd wants to scare me, I let it. Go to the worst case scenario. Say “yes, that might happen”!! “Yes I am capable of .....” give ocd what it wants.

Do you have an ocd trained therapist that does ERP??

Do you know of an ERP therapist?

Yes I do!! She is wonderful! Do you want her name?

Yes please

I go to Portland OCD and anxiety center. You can google it and see the 2 therapists bios. They are wonderful!!

Portland CT ?

Selesnya in reply to Deeganmich

If you search for the name you’ll see that it is Portland Oregon.

Portland Oregon

Hi.. I have had OCD for 36 yrs - since 15 yrs old. I have currently have what they are currently calling Pure O - only inward, mind compulsions with excessive ruminating. I am seeing a therapist, on medication and actively doing CBT.

The problem is, CBT doesnt seem to work for PAST intrusive thoughts or false memory situations.

A year ago I had a situation where I was with loved ones (this is what OCD targets) and I was trying to practice ERP - BUT IT BACK FIRED. My therapist told me that I tried this too early. I was doing ok until the intrusive, inappropriate thoughts started. I started to experience terrible panic, like I was losing control of the situation, or that I MIGHT be losing control of the situation. A couple of inappropriate pictures popped into my mind and because I was in "panic mode" I couldnt tell if these "images" really happened or not!

In the end, I dont know if anything DID happen. I am left feeling like a sicko! I have tried to go back over those moments time and again and.. nothing. There is incredible pan and guilt from this as I DONT KNOW exactly what happened!

Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice??

I agree with Wheeloffortune! Unfortunately, there are times when OCD will rear it’s ugly head despite the fact that you have learned to cope with past obsessions. It will tell you that somehow this time is different, and that every intrusive thought is real — but it’s not. It’s best to not argue or interact with the thoughts because by doing so you are only reinforcing that they are actual threats, when in reality they are harmless. I know how difficult and upsetting it can be when you have a lapse in your OCD, but it’s ok. It’s normal to feel scared and confused because that is what OCD does — it scares us. Remember that OCD is not curable and only manageable. Flare ups will happen and often without a reason. You have the tools to change the way you respond to the thoughts, don’t let OCD win this battle. Fight back. Accept uncertainty. We all know this is easier said than done but I believe that each and everyone of us has the strength deep inside to choose how we will let OCD be in our lives. Will you let in to your home and ask it to sit down, or will you tell it that it can come in but it cannot sit down? OCD is welcome to live life alongside of me, but it is not allowed to live my life for me. You CAN do this. You are so brave already. I’ll be praying for you!

I love this reply! Please be praying for me as well.

Keeping all of you in my prayers always! 💖

Thank you❤

I am a pastor with OCD - 36 years. I pray for all sufferers with this every night before I pray for myself. God's speed, everyone. Be well. Praying for us all!

I have had the same thing. Mine has been in remission for 20 years so I have to recognize that this is just a phase and it will pass. Trying not to put importance on the thoughts and seeking ERP therapy.

Thank you for taking time to respond. Be well. David

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