I am really scared. Help: As I have written... - My OCD Community

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I am really scared. Help

Gimi44 profile image
6 Replies

As I have written in previous post I have health anxiety OCD and I have just been taken a mole out for a biopsy today since it could be melanoma. And I'm waiting for some results to confirm glaucoma as well. I'm 45. No family, no job but good friends. I am taking meds but I couldn't find a good ERP specialist( although I've been educating myself with podcasts and books) How would you try to cope with this period of time of uncertainty until I get the results?. All my family has died of cancer and I do not how I am going to react. I'm not looking for reassurance and I am not going to avoid the stress and feelings but I am starting to loose hope. I cannot find anything in my values/life that helps me to fight with this monster anymore...if the results are positive... . Please share your thoughts, fellings and suggestions, this is gonna be beyond hard for me. Thanks guys!

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Gimi44
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LuvSun profile image
LuvSun

Hi Gimi44- It is not uncommon for Dermatologists to send skin samples for biopsies- I myself had had many such biopsies and none of them have been melanoma. My husband however did have a melanoma which he simply had removed. He is fine. It’s just your OCD making you worry so much.

Gimi44 profile image
Gimi44 in reply toLuvSun

Thank you Luv, I'll try to be positive 🤞👍

mopedmike profile image
mopedmike

Dear Gimi44 I can only share my own life experience when I was scared of my own death. I wasn't imagining things I was 48 and having my 2nd heart attack. A CHP helicopter hoisted me off of a mountain I was hiking on and got me into an ambulance that took me to a hospital in Trukee, which couldn't help me (because they weren't set up for that ) the staff kept asking me questions and they seemed impatient to get answers and soon I saw they were all avoiding eye contact with me I knew they thought I was going to die. What confirmed my suspicions of this is when a crew from another helicopter that arrived to take me to Reno's hospital refused to take me because my condition wasn't stable. I had to do some real soul searching because I was about to meet God. The first heart attack caught me off guard at 43 I had 4 kids and felt I had failed them, I didn't want to go.(clearly I didn't) now at 48 on my 2nd heart attack and the hospital staff pretty much hinting that" this was it!" I had to ask myself what did I really have faith in? Me? no I had faith in God's grace in Jesus.(hate to sound preachy, but this site is where we can be real and I'm being honest) I realized there was nothing I could do and I really did trust Him and his grace for me and if I was going to go He would take care of my family and make up for my short comings. Putting my trust in Him gave me a great peace that lasts me till today at 56.(so I obviously did stabilize and survive) Of course I have OCD and there are times when it is no picnic but I always go back in my mind to that emergency room where I had to ask myself that question what do I trust in? No matter what you face, I really hope you can find the same answer I did. And I'm hoping and praying with you for positive outcomes.

MopedMike

Wheeloffortune profile image
Wheeloffortune

Hi! I had an MRI of my spine and they found nerve impingement. I a scheduled to see a neurosurgeon in a week. My ocd and anxiety went to freak me out. Normally, I would resist the thoughts and distract myself and just “get through “. Now, I’m doing ERP- letting my anxious thoughts come, letting and even wanting my brain to go to the worst case scenario. I’m not denying that I will be anxious and scared at the appointment, but I’m living my life NOW. And you know what?? My anxiety and fear have greatly lessened. I finally got sick of not living!! Life is risky and uncertain, but you have TODAY🎉🎉🎉 it can be a good day💝💝🤟🏻

ISTY profile image
ISTY

Sometimes all you can do is breathe and trust.. it’s the ocd holding on to this making it harder chances are excellent for cure with melanoma.. meditate, exercise pass the time.

trailwalker53 profile image
trailwalker53

Hi Gimi44..I'm sorry you are going through this....I know how bad health related OCD can be. Know you are not alone. Hang in there.

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